17 Divas : Dish about Celebrity, Reality TV, Entertainment & More!

Read our rants on reality tv, celebreality, celebrity, entertainment, movies, television, pop culture, fashion and other snarky tid-bits.

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Thursday, March 23, 2006

Diva2 in the house, daaaaaaaaawg!!!

This has been an action packed week of reality TV for me. I got to catch up on last week's AI, that I missed while basking in the Caribbean sun. Then before I knew it, it was time for this week's Idol AND I finally got to catch my first episode of this cycle of America's Next Top Model. Phew!

I was sooooo excited to see the Stevie Wonder night. I'll admit, I'm a total dork- I got tears in my eyes. Too bad none of the singing lived up to the promise of Mr. Wonder or the contestants' excitement. I think Randy was onto something, Stevie songs may just be too hard at this point in the competition.

Oh, but this week those kids really hit the jackpot- Barry Freakin' Manilow!!!!!! I'm not a Fanilow or anything, but there is no ignoring that the man is a musical genius. Stevie is too, don't get me wrong. But Barry is the man who started his career helping to build the careers of other singers.

I think it was totally due to his genius and hardwork that this week's show totally kicked ass. I was glad the contestants acknowleged how much he did for them. I wish the judge's had too.

My quick takes, starting with my top 3:

Mandisa- unbelievable. Blew me away. Brilliant. Except the hair was a little much. But the dress was genius. She had been on stage a whole 30 seconds before I exclaimed "damn, she's big"- usually it takes less than 1 sec.

Paris- also brilliant. For once I even liked her outfit.

Chris- his singing was a bit off, but his choice of song and execution was amazing. I still find his eyes oddly dead or something. But I love him, don't get me wrong.

My 3 that I love but wasn't as blown away by their performances:

Taylor- love love love him. But he's got to pick a song that actually shows off his voice at some point.

Elliot- very good, but I felt he was pitchy. Anyone else? But then again, so was Chris.

Katherine- very very good, but the top 3 were so good, she gets pushed to the second tier.

Then the 2 that I don't like but was pleasantly suprised by their performances:

Ace- brilliant song choice and arrangement. I really don't like him, but I'll give him his due- that was a great take on a classic. And it sounded like he came up with the idea, not Barry, which is shocking 'cause Ace don't strike me as a genius in any department. But he's still better off than our very "special" contestant:

Kellie- good golly I dislike this girl. But her performances get better every week (well, except for last week!). Her rendition of Walkin' was original and hot. But, come on, could the girl BE any stupider??? "I thought he was calling me a jacket..." "Look at the pickle!" etc etc etc. Wow, how did this girl even find the audition site. How does she drive? Dress herself? And clearly she doesn't know how to apply blush. Yikes.

My bottom 3 (I swear I thought this before the results show proved that America and I agree on something)

Bucky was OK. Lots of energy, but he just doesn't have the voice the others do. And he ain't no Bo Bice.

Kevin- one of his best performances, but still he just isn't as good as the rest.

Lisa- she's a child star. She's boring and trying too hard. And I resent that I think her mom is my age. And if she isn't, she's still hotter than I am. Which hurts even more.

As far as Kevin's leaving, I really liked him, but I'm glad he's gone. I would have been fine with any of my bottom 3 leaving and I think it is just a matter of time before they do. I'm just glad we didn't have a repeat of last year where someone with clearly less talent than the others sticks around WAY too long because people feel sorry for him *cough* Scott *cough*.

Dearest fiance thinks Paris is destined to win. I think that is a possibility, but I'm not so sure.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!! Woo hoo!!! Finally, I get to see this cycle. Except, what the hell, did they hijack the short bus for this year's contestants??? I'm not sure I can watch every episode with the same joy I had in years past. We'll see.

Ok, Diva2 OUT!

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

No Idol Time

The shift in reality felt across the world last night was, yes, 201D1 MISSING Idol due to various and sundry commitments. (Thank goodness I managed to tape the last 10 minutes with the re-cap.) Having enjoyed obsessed diva's commentary, I feel compelled to note that most of the english-speaking world apparently agrees with her -- Daughtry is the one to beat, with Taylor-made, EverywoMan, McPheever and "I Never Met a Two Syllable Word I Couldn't Pronounce" in a close race for the final six.

On a side note, I hope that Flavo and Hoopz will be "for reals" and she won't run off and marry an Italian waiter on the mediterranean shore like the last woman in Flav's life. Here's to their love, like Flav's giant timepieces, may it take a licking and keep on ticking... but if I ever receive gold teeth in lieu of a bright sparkly diamond, may someone haul me out to jersey shore and harpoon me quickly!

(On a side side note, I am continually surprised that a man who favors fuschia tuxes and white gloves has such a pottery barn-esque abode.)

ciao, Diva 1

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Wonder no More

A Wonderful night of Stevie Wonder classics where most of the contestants lulled us to sleep with unoriginal and not quite up to par performances. A few bright spots, Mandesa, Taylor, Kat McPhee, and Paris and one stunning hot performance overshadowing all others delivered by none other than Mr. McHottie Daughtry himself. The man is a rock star and he proves that every week. Poor Paula could barely speak. On a good day, her english as a second language commentary is hard to decipher. If we could play whatever the f--- she said backwords, I think we'd here "I'd love to sleep with you Chris". At least that's what was on my mind. Could I be anymore transparent.

In summary, this American Idol night was all about Chris & how much I love him.

Obsessed Diva 3 Over & Outtie for now

Monday, March 13, 2006

The Flavor of Love goes out with a Bang, uh I mean a Bling Bling!

No big surprises here but more entertaining television to close out the season finale of Flavor Flave's Lovefest. It's all about the bling, the pimping thing, and more ghetto girl catfighting.

Miss New York gives our fair city and state a bad name. This girl is crazy, nutso, psycho, oh and did I mention, CRAZY!! I couldn't figure out how it is she made it to the final showdown. It's not like she put out before their final date, when they made "sweet music" together. Getting the the boot the next day had to sting, and hopefully deflate her massive ego somewhat.

And the victorious Hoopz got her man in the can, wrapped up like a fruitcake in a tailor made fuschia tux, complete with mad hatter tophat (typical Flave flare) dazzling that sparkling gold diamond studded smile...yeah baby!! come to mama!!... Seriously though, the man is koo koo for cocoa puffs! and absolutely CRAZY! She so lucky!!

As a gift, an expression of his mad love for Miss Hoopz, he got her, of course, a girls best friend, a beautiful diamond, but not just any diamond, this one was carefully set in gold tEEth!! Again, ever girls dream.

I must say Hoopz is a down home girl, cool chick. Glad she won...a prize I'm not so sure about? and I hope they live happily ever after (...in reality tv terms that's about 2 weeks). Enjoy the ride and your even crazier reality tv show spin offs which unless my life gets more interesing I'll be tuned in to see.

Diva 3 over & outtie

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Tennessee Shocker

** Newsflash ** Real-life Dr. McDreamy, Travis Stork, and Kindergarten Teacher, Sarah from Tennesse, are officially NOT together.

No f---king kidding!!! there was no chemistry, no spark, no nothin during the 6 weeks of this past season's lamest bachelor show to date. We watched nothing more than a Tennesse-bonded friendship develop between two people who couldnt light each other's fire in california drought.

They're both lovely people but noone bought it for a minute that this was a romance. Now maybe they can both move forward to meeting someone who will actually rock their world. (Note to Travis: Next time pick the girl you want, not the one your parents want for you!)

-D4 out.

American Idol Men's Nite

Hmmm, first off, gotta say i was kinda bored with this one. I was more in Simon's camp then any of the other judges tonite and was glad he was there "to keep it real"!

Kevin - I don't get. Hated the song. Made me want to slit my wrists. Diva 1 suggests I listen to him with my eyes closed next time and i'll have to try that next week to see if it changes my opinion.

Bobby Brady, aka Will - was another sleeper and bad song, although Paula was drooling and gushing over him. HELLLLOOOOOOO were you even listening?????

Taylor is adorable as always and is a fave in my book! I love his enthusiasm and smile and he's just having fun! I'm thankful to know he will probably not have to be in this year's easter parade too. wearing a bunny suit ain't no picnic unless you're a playboy.

Ace - uh did you catch the guy that must have been his older brother in the audience - totally cute! Houston, did we have a bad hair day or did we think it'd be cool to sing with the beenie on? I admit, it was kinda hot. Plus, we learned that the man's got skills in the handyman department. Now i know who i'm calling next time I need something drilled. oh, right,,, his singing... again, i wasnt blown away. i'm not a michael jackson fan and he sounded a little too george michael for me.

Chris was good, but not as wow this week.

Elliot rocked it too. Bucky (times 2) was fun to watch.
-diva4

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Chris McHottie Daughtry

Yum Yum Yum!!!

In the afterhours of Idol voting I just felt like giving my boy a shout out. You are in my thoughts always.

I think my feelings could best be expressed with the lyrics to the classic song "Get Here" by
Oleta Adams

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here Chris McHottie Daughtry,
GET HERE if you can!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obsessed Diva 3 out!

A Delicate Flower in a Field of Men (and a few boys...)

201 Divas weighing in on tonight's field. Once we were able to put aside our shock at the tiny white flower concealing the majority of Paula's cleavage from all of tv-watching america (and our admiration for what we can only suspect was an over-worked safety pin), we managed to group our collective thoughts on tonight's Idol hopefuls ...

Gideon. One-half of the 201 Divas is not swayed by the surprisingly young, Lionel Richie-esque man loving a woman Gideon. This diva would suggest he lose the mustache, and rock out Andre 3000's "Hey Ya" to sway her vote. The other half of the 201 Divas was pleasantly not annoyed by his performance or his shockingly pink shirt. If all else fails, at least we know an Orbitz gum (or Crest whitestrips) commercial is easily within his grasp.

Chris. McHottie. McHottie. McHottie. We could say plenty more, but fear the censors. Needless to say, he was our smoldering favorite by a very long mile. (Editor's note -- Diva 3 will be posting UNCENSORED later. MUCH later.) In the meantime, we'll note we're glad he ditched the hair, and he may be the only guy we'd let in 201 with a motorcycle chain wallet.

Kevin took us from the hothouse to the playground and, true to Simon's word, courted the vote of pre-schoolers and grandmothers across the nation. We've never even heard that song, and we're pretty sure he was singing about someone named Vincent. Dying. While he could get the romeo & juliet vote, one half of the 201 divas is slightly sorry that he's probably packing his bags for home. Although we feel compelled to note that, if you close your eyes, he is Gavin-esque -- continually amazed that the voice comes of out of that body.

Bucky. Making our top three for the evening, we were swayed not only by a great song choice (even though we didn't recognize it), and what we thought was a very strong vocal and delivery. We are surprised every week by how comfortable he looks on stage. An added bonus? His adorable twin with a matching fashion sense.

(side note -- check out Melissa from FL. She was wearing a skirt, and covering most of her assets in a great way. We hardly recognized her!)

Will aka Donny Osmond, the early years. A chameleon the last few weeks, we felt he suffered from a lack of uniqueness ironically -- we have no idea who he is, other than that he has some excellent jacket choices. Note the braiding over the pockets, rockin'! We think its a safe bet he's headed back to the island, Long Island that is.

Taylor. He is Taylor-made for us! Given the hair, it was inevitable that he do a Michael McDonald song, although at least 1/2 of us was voting for Maniac. Maybe he and Mandisa can sing On My Own, the Patti LaBelle duet. As for his "moves," was that a seizure? No. Plain adorable that was. We love him, and we loved his boots.

Elliott. Didn't enjoy the song. In fact, we thought Richard Marx made the "No Whitney, No Mariah, etc." rule category on the men's side. That said, we love him and loved his cheezy friend rockin the "Sway" fedora in the audience. He's clearly through to the next round, or we're no divas.

Last but not least, Ace. Apparently all that was up his sleeve was a BAD HAIR DAY. The song choice was unique, but didn't give us butterflies. More like the heeby jeebies. We can't reconcile the smiley cute Ace when he's not singing with the serial killer stare that peers over the microphone. We strongly suggest he bribe the camera operators to keep the lens pulled back. And, at least one half of the 201 divas, has to note -- going on song choice alone -- George Michael, Michael Jackson --'nuff said.

To sum up? McHottie McHottie, Taylor-made, Bucking the trend, and Elliott -- all guaranteed to be Bringing It -- bringing what? IT. -- next week, live on Tuesday, 8 pm. Be there, or tune in here later.

201 Divas out!

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

From 'Tude to Tears (of boredom, that is)

Having ditched Brenna, our resident 'tude-ette, last week, 201 divas were anxiously awaiting a drama-less week of rockin' performances. Unfortunately, for the first time in a long time, we 201 divas reached the end of our precious hour and had zero recall. That said...

Paris, we'll always have Paris. In our memories that is. She needs to watch old idol re-runs, gloria estefan didn't work for diana and it didn't work for her. Plus her jeans needed to be more tapered (who ever thought we'd say that!) and her dress a little shorter to rock her look.

Lisa needs to live in reality. We didn't know, they didn't know, y'all don't know WHAT SHE WAS SINGING. I've never heard more songs I didn't know. Perhaps she needs to break our cardinal rule, and bust out a Whitney, just so we know she listens to the radio. And leave mom at home.

Melissa. We loved the song choice, and the performance in general, but she will be the first one who gets THROWN at the stylist if she survives. For real, for sure.

Kinnik. Can't connect. Broke the cardinal rule -- no Whitney, no Mariah, no Alesia, no Estefan, NO IDOL. Result? NO style. Zero recall. We believe she really did buy her ticket home.

McPheever. We've got it. And so did the dawg pound. Arf. 'Nuff said, the girl has got it goin' on.

Ayla aka hoops (there it is...). We are squarely with Simon -- shocked that it was so good. But she needs to quit squatting in front of the camera -- it was a visual reminder of the men on the subway who wants two seats if you know what we mean. Find a home for the bees in her hive and ditch the dynasty do if she sticks around.

Mandisa. Mandisa. Mandisa. She isn't everywoman, she is WOMAN, hear her roar. Rockin the look and rockin our world. If this were dancing with the stars, she is 10s across the board, a platinum medal, and the ultimate tropical flower.

Last but not least, Pickler. We want to like her. We finally believe she can sing. But we don't need the calamari, the "I'm a mink?" and the "I just ate SAL-mon" to win our hearts. This may be Simon's year to shock the tabloids -- "Simon Says I'm a Naughty Little Minx...". If McPheever and Seacrest don't beat him to the tabloids first.

Despite having plenty to say about the women, in all we believe 50% or more are forgettable. Bring on the true idols -- tomorrow's men. One 201 Diva in particularly has already cued her speed dial to Chris Hottie Daughtry.

Odd Divas (1&3) out!

Oscar to Idol....the fun never ends!

Okay, I have to admit that a few weeks back I would easily have ousted Melissa and Kellie from the Idol competition. In fact I was bummed they werent voted off. I thought Melissa was a bore and that the only thing Kellie had going for her was her prison father and her cute name, Pickler. (It’s just so much fun to say!) BUT……after this week’s women showdown I have to say, they both make my top 12 list!

Kellie Pickler is infectious. Hell, Simon’s even smitten as a kitten with her and confessed to liking her more than Carrie Underwood. He called her a minx, and I dare say the tight topped Mr. Cowell might have a teeny weeny crush. Plus, she suprises us each week with this rock out performance that’s not expected and she nails it!

Melissa manages too to somehow get better and more likeable each week. She’s interesting at least. Loved the ripped jeans btw. Although this gal’s hair needs a touch of Nick Arrojo magic and some advice from Carmandy wouldn’t hurt either.

Mandisa is a star every week! This was no exception.

Katherine I couldn’t get as excited about as the judges, plus the girl has no rhythm and should scale down the ‘dance moves’.

I missed Paris’ performance but from the look I got at her outfit, hair & makeup, it looks like she’s still acting several generations from her current one.

Ayla, sporting 3" platforms, was almost 2x as tall as Ryan this week. Seacrest short.
And, if this idol thing doenst work out, at 6’1" our bets are on her getting her share of photo time.

Oh, and I’d like to award my own "Oscar" to Paula for I believe it’s the first in four weeks that her heaving breasts and cleavage haven’t upstaged the contestants!

~diva4 out!

more oscar

Noone has mentioned Felicity Huffman exposing her boney lack of a chest in that open plummeting neckline. bad.

Charlize may have my worst dressed for the night. She also looked mildly agitated like she had a big chip on her shoulder form of big bow.

I thing Jennifer Garner still has pregnancy weight around the mid section. I thought the dress was designed to accommodate the additional girth.

Reese's speech was to die for. Amazing, graceful, gracious, beautiful. The best of the night.

Although loved Altman's and Clooney...class act all the way around, from the front to the back...oh, can i see the back again? ok, now the front again... YUMMIE!!!

-diva3 outtie

My Oscar takes

First, I'm soooo annoyed it went so over on time. My DVR didn't record it, so it cut off as Reese was walking up. :( But I was impressed by the clips of her speech I caught this morning.

Worst look of the night goes to Helena Bonham Carter- what a hot mess!! But she can always be counted on for dressing spectacularly badly.

I'm more disappointed in those who SHOULD know better... Yes, I mean you Charlize. WTF?? The Witches Rivers can try to explain to little old bumkin me that it looked great in person, but I don't care. From where I was sitting it was a hidious 80's flashback. Not classic. Not regal. Very Falcon Crest.

Naomi was also a miss for me. Actually looked ok during the preshow interviews, but on stage, she looked pregnant and naked. Not good. But I LOVED her intro for Dolly. So sweet and genuine.

Loved Keira's dress, make-up, and necklace. Just not all together!! The dress was amazing. But the hair was sooooo bad. The color is horrible. The style actually looked ok in some of the still shots I saw, but looked like she was coming back from the gym while on the red carpet.

I loved JLo's look too. Too tan for sure, but the dress was stunning on her. Although, I'm starting to wonder if the color wasn't actually a touch "off" and that's why she had to go overboard on the tanning. And she missed a spot! Have you seen the stills? Hilarious. Loved Salma, but something about that dress was slightly off to me, too. Great color and neckline, but it needed some readjustment.

I hated Jenifer Aniston's look! The bodice of the dress was nice and the necklace was spectacluar. But overall it said to me "still recovering from divorce"!

Ditto for Hillary. Too thin, too boring. But she's having personal problems too, so I won't bash too much! LOL

Oh, and I hate, hate, hated Felicity Huffman's entire look! Hair and m/u too severe, as was the black dress. And her bony chest was just creepy. (shudder)

I adored Michelle Williams' entire look! She looked so fresh and vibrant in the sea of black and beige. Separately, I don't know if the dress and lipstick would have worked, but together, she was stunning.

I loved Clooney's speech. He is so the man.

Alba- gorgeous from the tits up, but her skinny little arms were freakin' me out. And she so doesn't deserve to be at the Oscars. Didn't get that at all. I also loved Stewart's hosting. Waaaaay too many montages. WTF??

My heart broke for Lauren Bacall. Unlike Liz Taylor's flub a few years ago, Bacall still has enough of her wits about her to be embarassed that she f-ed up. She seemed to be getting really flustered and annoyed. I felt so bad for her. I got the feeling she left the stage and ripped someone a new one- whether they deserved it or not. Loved Lily and Streep's intro for Altman.Altho Lily was clearly better at the style than Streep. Which was even more funny.

Have only seen a few pics of Uma. Can't decide how I feel. I like how glow-y she looked.But the eye make-up wasn't quite right. Too much? Too smudgy? Can't be sure.

-diva2

Oscar Detox

I didn't mind Charlize's hair but thought overall it was a little too much with the horrible dress. I didn't even know it was green until eonline told me. I thought it was like someone wrapped her in a battleship.

Reese's dress was good but not great, and suffered from a fit problem, again good from waist up but it wasn't taken in enough to keep her from looking like a Christmas tree.

Jessica Alba -- stunning, but no purpose for being there. Michelle Williams, although Michelle's overall look was a bit too "period" for me -- but I loved the dress and the bold lip color. Unfortunately Heath was looking a little like that SNL character that says "ai yois mio!" with his facial hair.

Keira's necklace and eye makeup lost me. Too dark and distracted from the gorgeous lines of her dress. And I was totally creeped out seeing her sitting next to Jack Nicholson. Uma Thurman was my winner for absolute stunner. Right dress, right hair -- and her skin was luminous. Salma Hayek was a close second. Although I get annoyed everytime I am reminded how she went back to her old accent after she got really really famous. I think it took her 15 minutes to just say the nominees.

I thought both Aniston and Swank's dresses were boring and safe for the academy awards. Although Swank definitely looked better. I love Rachel Weisz, and thought that dress was better than that horrid gold number she wore to the SAG awards.

I was surprised how well-dressed Meryl Streep was for a change. I also thought Catherine Keener's brown dress was lovely, and that Maggie Gyllenhaal was surprisingly well-dressed. I was pleasantly pleased as well that Nicole Kidman appeared to have laid off the Botox at least for the evening so she could smile and wear her hair down. But I gave her whole look (as well as fellow Aussie Naomi Watts) a thumbs down, Nicole has worn that dress shape at least a dozen times before in different colors (grey and lavender to name two).

I also thought Jennifer Garner's dress made her look pregnant again. But she had a great slip and fall recovery.

George Clooney -- yum. But I thought he looked noticeably disappointed when they panned to him immediately following Crash's double win. His speech in the press room later was hilarious though (he was joking about how he has seen Ang Lee badmouthing people all over town, etc. and how he hates him).

I did love both Reese's and Philip Seymour Hoffman's speeches. I was appalled that the Crash people never thanked their cast.

Jon Stewart -- I thought he was a little reined in, and his funniest comments were about piracy and how several women couldn't afford enough dress to cover themselves, and then later in the show when he kept remarking about the best song winner (its hard out here for a pimp) -- I especially liked the Scorsese Zero, 3-whatever 1 comment.

I also thought the opening montage was fairly funny. Particularly with Billy Crystal and Chris Rock. Lauren Bacall was kind of sad. I couldn't tell whether she had too much to drink or has started exhibiting palsy symptoms. And the montages with no point were a little annoying by the third one.

I loved dolly parton -- never thought I'd live to see that one, even if her outfit was horribly tacky (she looked way better sitting in the audience, even a better wig then). Naomi's intro of her was heart-felt though.

-diva1 out.