17 Divas : Dish about Celebrity, Reality TV, Entertainment & More!

17 Divas Updates

2008-05-22T11:00:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to visit us at our new home 17divas.com

Read our latest posts:

Cookies for Everyone! David Cooks Wins American Idol

David Cook American Idol. America Gets it Right!

American Idol Judges Get it Wrong

Cook still melts MY Heart! He is THEE American Idol!

17Divas Updates

2008-03-31T16:14:00.000-07:00

Don't forget to visit us at our new home, 17Divas.com.

Read our latest posts,

Rock of Drama Las Vegas

It's So Over When the Bachelorette Sings

Poor Domenico

17 Divas is Moving!

2008-03-20T16:30:00.000-07:00

The 17 Divas Blog is Moving. Please forward your bookmarks to:

http://www.17divas.com

See you there!

I know I can blow your socks off - Idol pg13 bah bye!!

2008-03-18T21:26:00.000-07:00

Kristy Lee Cook makes a promise to Simon that took everyone by surprise, most of all herself. I'm no stranger to sticking my foot in my mouth, but she described putting her mouth on something else. OOoops, the kids are watching! A comic relief moment and one of the highlights of this night of lack-luster performances (for the most part).

As you all know by now, Mr. Day-Tripper-she-only-took-me-half-way-there Cook (Dear David, I'll be happy to take you the rest of the way!) gave another outstanding performance! I love him! He seriously stands out. & I know if given the chance (and DC if you're reading this, yes, this is a proposition) I could blow your socks off too!

but for now, i'm just gonna blow on outta here, b/c I'm too tired to write more at the moment.

Nite fellow diva's and all sd fans ~
Diva 3

American Idol Stars

2008-03-11T22:12:00.000-07:00

Brooke and David Cook bringing it all again. These two are already seasoned musical artists. They have "it!" & I love them. Absolutely amazing!!

If keeps going like this I predict they will be the final two. They are both amazing and unique in their own way and will be stars regardless.

David Cook looking especially hot tonight! Brooke is just so Brooke, she knows who she is as a person and an artist and her raw talent and genuine emotion is beautiful to see. Love the no shoes.

Chikezie surprised me. Well done.

Michael Johns, still a big fan, but agreed with all the judges, he needs to bring it. His voice is awesome.

Miss Rocker Amanda what's her name rocked that new hair do. Was a great makeover for the most part and she gave a good performance I thought. Is she gay? Not that there's anything wrong with that but she was singing about being jealous some guy would get in the way b/w her and her love. oh, maybe she had stripper dude or Noriaga in her ming and she was afraid her man was actually gay and playing her like a fool being in love with another man. Anyway, I was confused. I think she should have changed the pronoun from 'he' to 'she'. Unless she is gay and worried her gay lover is going to go for a dude, or she is not gay but concerned her man is and is going for a dude. I should really edit this b/c I think this is beginning to ramble on saying the same things over again and it is definitely a bit "wordy"

The other performances were, as Simon would say, forgettable except for little David Archeleto's lack of "wordiness" forgetting the lyrics. He had what only a week to learn this song? oh, I sound mean and bitchy. He's only 17. He's learning.

Sorry for such a boring post, if you are even still awake and reading this my apologies. I'm sure I'll have another colorful poem about my undying love for David Cook again soon. You can count on that!

Diva 3 outtie

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, david cook, 17 divas, brooke white, michael johns, amanda overmyer,david archuleta

David Cook, You Had Me at "Hello"!!

2008-03-09T21:54:00.000-07:00

I think my feelings about American Idol this week can best be expressed through the following poem, written by me, Diva 3:

David Cook you make my stir fry
When you sing I let out a sigh
You've got me flying high
So happy we'd be together
if you'd just come on by (my door, "hello, is it me you're looking for?)

The fire's been lit, my cookies are done,
they are burnt & black but I'm not a maniac
I just wanna roll around with you in the sack
You can be my dog, 'ruff ruff' & I'll be your boo
I'll cook you breakfast, do you like tofu scramble too?

Keep on rockin' dog, represent the pound (you, Michael Johns, and Jason are the only dudes in it). You guys make Idol "worthy" (to use a word from the Simonary. His cousin Dick doesn't know what it means and neither do we, but who the bloody fuck cares).

There was more I had to say but David's performance eclipsed everything else for me for the most part and I'm bored at even the very thought of reviewing the others (more than half of which were not even memorable).

A couple last points, in addition to David Cook's absolutely inspired, creatively brilliant and magnificent performance, I think Jason's version of hallelujah was brilliant as well. David, Jason, and Michael are at the top, and David is at the tippy top (please reference the aformentioned notes and poems. That's pretty much how I feel, not entirely per se, but I don't have all day!.)

Also, can the psych medical triage team for Paula Abdul resolve their union issues, cross the f-ing picket line, and get back to work. She's going down and she's taking us all with her. It pains me so to see her babble in languages none of us understand...literally it does pain me...not just per se, like forreal!!

Obsessed DC Fan Diva 3 outtie ~ nighty night!!
(I need to watch DC's new rock ballad hit performance of Hello a few more times on youtube to help rock me to sleep, b/c in "my dreams I kiss his lips a thousand times"...I need to get enough REM time in, 1000 times you know is a lot!)

This wasn't a review per se, but it was in fact my point of view in case anyone gives a s@#$.

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, david cook, 17 divas, paula abdul, michael johns, tv blog,jason castro

80s Night, Is Paula Feeling All Right??

2008-03-05T20:27:00.000-08:00

Diva 1 reporting in on 80s week, Idol style and to echo a fellow Diva -- is anyone tired of this yet? This week's episodes, by and large, were insanely boring but for Paula's ridiculous ramblings and amazing transformation from tuesday's spanish rose to wednesday's tory burch wearing, hair medallion sporting soccer mom.

The general recap? Three Whitney songs (Chikezie, Asia'h and Syesha), one Celine song (David H. -- yes, all the reporters were too kind in reminding people that its a Meatloaf song since the last one to sing it was, in fact, Celine), too many pairs of highwaisted jeans to count, and at least two contestants who seem to think they can sing with their eyes closed and connect with America's home viewers.

The highlights? Jason Castro, weird elfen/Lord of the Rings hairdo aside; David Cook, who bravely made Lionel Richie current as something other than Nicole's father; and Amanda Overmeyer, the nurse/rocker who finally found a genre other than the 60s that offers her some song choices.

The lowlights? Danny Noriega, who moves like a teenage girl/cheerleader; Luke Menard, who forgot that even George Michael appeared somewhat engaging when singing Wake Me Up; Carly Smithson, who seems to have lost all semblance of personality; and Kristy Lee Cook, who simply leaves this Diva at a loss for words.

Tune in next week for more boring Idol-ers revelations... Yawn.

Diva 1 out

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, jason castro, 17 divas, Chikezie, Asia'h, Syesha,Amanda Overmeyer

Slicin' and Dicin'- Let's Just Cut Them All!

2008-02-23T15:36:00.001-08:00

Ok, maybe not ALL of them. But dang, I'd happily cut at least half of them right now and not even think twice.

I have to give Idol credit, though. They started this year off right. After all the uproar over the meanness of last year's audition phase, the judges were noticeably nicer and more constructive. I, for one, was VERY happy with this change. I don't watch Idol to make fun of delusional people, and I really don't watch it to see what kind of obviously planned over-the-top "me so crazy" act some jerk can come up with to get onto TV! Ok Ok, I am glad they left in a *few* delusional people this season- like the over-acting little spoiled brat Simon so rightly called out. But I thought over-all the auditions were pleasantly focused on the talent!

I have mixed feelings about this year's Hollywood week. While some of them may have liked getting the pass to the last day, I think it may have lulled some of them into a false sense of security and superiority. Josiah was clearly robbed, but I think the new process may have disadvantaged him.

My usual complaint with the first few weeks remains, though. They need to give all the members of the top 24 some kind of airtime and backstory. It happens every year- a few poor stiffs make it in that we've never ever seen before, then get cut almost immediately. Some of the unknowns do make it through, but it still doesn't seem fair. Especially with this year's long list of tragedies and sob stories. How could someone like Amy go up against a dead daddy, a sold horse, getting hit by a semi, or a lost voice?? It was a hopeless cause. Based on this theory, I guessed either Amy, Alexandrea, or one of the blond chicks would be gone.

Which brings us to this week's performances and cuts. I'll admit my earlier complaint doesn't hold exactly true. I do admit that, yes, Amy pretty much sucked and deserved to go home. But I feel bad- all the way to the top 24 and we know NOTHING about her. I know way more than I want to about perfectly average Carly. I was so glad Simon brought her down a notch. I kinda like her, but I'm sick of the hype. And her awful sperm eye-brows.

What was really too bad is we did have back story on Joanne, she seemed likable, had a pretty good performance, and yet, she got sent home. WTF people? Is this going to be one of those wonky years when I feel I have to vote for hours to balance out all the crazy people voting for no-talent brats??

OK, so if I could cull the herd now, who would I cut? Heck it might be easier to say who I'd like to see stay. LOL

But seriously, first on the chopping block would be the unbelievably, mind-bogglingly awful and obnoxious Danny Noriega. I see kids like him and I want to weep for the future, to steal a line from a movie that will age me, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Maybe I am getting too old for Idol?

I would also love to wave good-bye to David Cook (way too wanna-be cool), Jason Yeager (just too cheesy and awful for words), and Luke (wait, he's even MORE cheesy and awful, although easier on the eyes). For the girls, I'd get rid of one of the blond girls, but I'm seriously not sure who is who.

I'm pulling for Amanda to start making some better song choices, I love her voice. I do want to re-do her rocker-chick look. I would still make her look rocker- just better.

On the other end of the spectrum, I'm oddly intrigued by Brooke White. I usually hate these kind of people. But she's pure without being the slightest bit preachy. A rare combination. In that vein, can I just say how happy I was that awful abstinence preacher girl got cut!! Although I did feel bad she's getting taken for a ride by her "coach," the former Idol contestant. Wow.

I'm waiting for great things from David A, David H, Jason, and of course, Michael Johns. His version of Bohemian Rhapsody was mind-blowing. I want more like that, I agreed with Simon, that was better than this week's Doors cover. If Chikezie can get it together, he could really surprise us.

Another thing I'm struck by is how many of this year's contestants tried out, and failed at various points, in previous years. How far can you get before they say you can't come back?? It is a *little* ridiculous. Not to mention those who have previous record contracts and touring experience.

But despite any disappointments, I can't wait for next week!

Mommy Diva Out! (I can't remember my number- who am I??)

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, ai, 17 divas, hollywood week, david cook, tv blog,danny noriega

If Ya Wannabe My Idol...

2008-02-22T11:35:00.000-08:00

You've got to be upbeat, make sure your song's not pitchy and don't forget to move your feet....

Ok, so at least one Diva is still suffering the effects of Monday's Madison Square Garden outing to the Spice Girls. However, last night's vote-off victims could have taken a cue from mes amies spice as they were evidently completely unaware -- despite Colton Berry's professed "love" of all-things-Idol -- of the unfallible Idol rules that must be followed if you want to make it into the top 12:

(1) don't sing anything by Mariah, Whitney, Celine, Peabo Bryson, Richard Marx or Luther Vandross during the first few weeks;

(2) do not sit on a chair; and

(3) do not sing a slow song.

Garrett, Colton and Amy proved to be totally ignorable -- but for their fashion faux pas and pitchy droning... and thus suffered a hasty exit last night, made all the more hasty by Seacrest's blissful cut-to-the-cut approach. I'm not even sure one could rip off a bandaid faster than Seacrest let the farewells fly last night...

Diva 1 has to exclude Joanna from the foregoing categories, however. Joanna proved that she could dress herself well and, despite the pitch problems and nerves, was far better than this seasons Britney-wannabe, Carrie Underwood look alike, or cowgirl/prom princess who kicked off the womens show on Wednesday (collectively, "the blondes").

Thanking their lucky stars last night were Mr. Moon River, Ch-Cheezy, Orlando Blook look-alike Luke (something), Scatwoman and the Blondes. As for the rest of us, its safe to say we were left to wonder why we couldn't just cut to the top 12, how many more group numbers must be endured and if there's a device to erase Paula's throw-back 80s video from our minds completely.... Oh yeah, and why the kids had to be publicly kicked to the curb in their second-hand group number costumes. In the immortal words of Aaron, "un uh, not cool!"

Until next week, Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, ai, 17 divas, hollywood week, colton berry, tv blog,spice girls

Not Your American Idol

2008-02-21T08:42:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or do about half the men look like women? I just can’t get over it....(Leif) Garrett, Noriega, Hernandez, and Colton (who actually made reference to how he looks like Ellen DeGeneres). Not that there's anything wrong with this, but it's just a bit confusing. If I wasn't paying attention, or say maybe dosed off for a few (which given these performances would not be out of the question) I may open my eyes and think it's ladies night...what the F?

And then there are the manly men that are just a deilish dish to feast our eyes on…there’s aussie hottie Michael Johns (I can even forgive him for having 2 first names), and Luke Menard. Michael has “it” I think. The beginning of the Doors song he did made me melt like cheese in a Ray’s Pizza’s oven (shout out to all the New Yorkers in the m-en-f-en haaooooouuuuuuuuuuse!). Hot and sexy, I’m totally down with MJ!

Moving on...Speaking of cheese, how about that Cheezie, oops that’s Chikezie!!!!

Of the women, I think Miss Syesha is awesome, she’s my fave pick for the ladies so far. There we some other interesting performances. I like the nurse-rocker.

Overall, there’s been a shadow over this years Idol since the pick of the top 24 show. And that shadow is mixed with a bit of anger. The honeymoon AI and I have been having over the years is finally over at least for now. We may be able to reignite the spark, but it may take some time. It’s like they cheated on me and I’m mad as hell. It is hard for me to see the top 12 men, especially the 6 or 7 lame ones and not feel this way. Why are these fuckers there and my boy Josiah is out sitting in his car!? That Josiah has it all…an amazing artist! His own songs are fabulous. He could make an album today and it’d go platinum, no doubt. Love, love, LOVE him & LOVE Ellen DeGeneres for all her fabulousness she sees the truth too and had him on her show yesterday. It was amazing. She showered him with gifts (which I don’t think even half will fit in his car, but something tells me he’s not going to be living in that car much longer).

Nuff said ~

Diva 3 out for now ~

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, josiah, 17 divas, ellen degeneres, ai, michael johns,idol recap

Idol With a Vengeance!

2008-02-13T18:06:00.000-08:00

Yes, ladies and gents, the long-awaited, post-Super Bowl schmorgasborg of American Idol has returned -- and with it, more diva-licious observations from your favorite reality tv mavens.

This year brings even more sad stories than usual. Diva 1 counted in just two shows (Hollywood week and Miami) 2 very recent patriarchal deaths, one heroic crash survivor, one more recent and slightly less tragic crash survivor (given that the show prominently featured her riding her motorcycle with reckless abandon), 3 janis joplin impersonaters (2 of whom were also in the crash survivor category), 1 beauty queen, immigration problems, innumerable "this is my last chance"-ers and too many single parents to count (including one refreshingly single dad -- doesn't anyone else besides Diva 1 wonder why the single pops never turn out for reality tv?).

This year's crop of potential American Idols include (to name a few): a nurse, a plus-size model, a former boy bander from miami, a 16-year-old, a rastafarian (at least by looks), a daughtry-wannabe, an Irish girl and an Australian mate. In usual form, we saw too little of half of the members of "our" top 24 to cast odds or truly pick a front runner, although I think many will keep an eye on Carly (the irish girl allergic to her dog) and David Hernandez (a Simon pronouncement that one will have to work harder is always a good sign) -- front runners if any are to be had.

Diva 1 would be uttterly remiss if she didn't note Idol's hugest mistake to date -- sending Josiah home without a ticket to the top 24. The child had more talent in his pinky that last year's boring, beat-boxing, boy-bander Blake and an interesting tonal quality to his voice. Not to mention a story made for sweeps week. Diva 1 is sure she wasn't the only one to discover that THIS was not the decision that Simon utterly disagreed with...

Anyhooo, stay tuned as the Divas gear up for another scandal-filled season of American Idol, with forays into all of your other "faves" of the season -- including Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and any other truly tragic excuse we can find not to do our real work!

Diva 1 out

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, hollywood week, 17 divas

The Dancing Diva Returns ... With a Danke Schoen to Wayne

2007-10-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

Yes, fellow divas, Diva 1 has been on a work-imposed hiatus but she returns this week for a brief recap of this seasons' dances and departures on the ABC hit Dancing With the Stars. We'll take them by contender, and recap accordingly...

This season, Cheeseball, I mean Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan has proven (outside of pro dancer Julianne Hough) to be the series' first-ever contender under the age of 30. And, say what you will about her nerve and/or fashion sense, even Diva 1 has to admit that her opening cha-cha and this week's jailbait jive have proven that the girl has the drive and stamina to take this all the way -- provided that her Disney fan base isn't distracted from voting when the Hannah Montana tour comes to town.

Diva 1's taste however veers to Mel B, the salaciously scary Spice Girl of yore. Who would have guessed the woman who gave us "zig-ah-zig-ah" would prove to be a ballroom dancer with sizzle AND style? Pairing Mel B with Maks was a brilliant move on ABC's part and so far her cha-cha, quickstep and jive have evoked last year's pairing with Laila Ali. Thankfully, however, Mel B is even more talented, has a personality that comes straight through your tv, and has already managed to render Maks shirtless.

Dr. Quinn, aka Jane Seymour, topped the leader board this week with a smooth and sultry tango. Diva 1 believes that the judges last week were far too harsh on Jane's mambo and that this week proves that, like a fine wine, actors and dancers only improve with age. Diva 1 is betting that between the 007 afficionados who keep Bond week alive and strong on Spike TV, the Dr. Quinn set and recent viewers of the Wedding Crashers, Ms. Seymour will be around for weeks to come.

Rounding out the top four is Helio Castroneves, the brazilian racer with a smile of gold. Helio's enthusiasm and charm show in each and every dance, and he's managed to be the only person who looks awkward in practice but actually manages to keep up step for step with his partner Julianne come race day. Here's hoping that all the Indy fans are watching with their wives so Helio sticks around!

Stuck somewhere in the middle are Jennie Garth and Floyd Mayweather. Jennie's appearance was a bit of a shock to Diva 1 since she is the only 90210 alum to work steadily since the show's demise. Apparently, a hit show on the CW is still not enough to keep JG from riding the coattails of DWS Ian Ziering style. So far, Jennie's dancing is bland and many viewers are left only with noticing her gigantic teeth and tense mouth. This week's tango was a marginal improvement however and, if she applies herself, she could stick around. Same goes for Floyd who, for starters, has to realize that in order to jive, one must take their feet off the ground .(Seriously, did anyone other than Diva 1 notice that?!) Floyd is saddled with a seriously sour partner (Karina) and an attitude that rivals his partner's fury, leading one to the conclusion that despite his repeat label as "a contender" he could be "return to sender" soon.

In the bottom, we have Cameron Mathison, who seems content on proving (1) that soap stars are FAR more dull than their onscreen personas and (2) that Edyta's seemingly endless supply of sheer and slit-to-here gowns are not all that it takes to win the coveted mirror ball. Cameron broke out of dullsville for about 10 seconds in last night's tango but his promise quickly faded like the blush on a red red rose.

We also have Mark Cuban, who in 3 shows has proven that DWS gets better results than Jenny Craig and that, if effort was based on facial expression, it would be graded all As. Diva 1 can't help but respect his desire, but suspects that unless he starts buying some votes, disgruntled Mavericks fans will soon quit dialing.

Last but not least in the current contenders, is Marie Osmond -- aka the most annoying woman on the planet. All Diva 1 can say is, (1) how does one decide that their profession is "entertainer" and (2) where do they get her undergarments? All that spandex would certainly make Diva 1 look like a size 2, and she needs them stat!

Finally, and thankfully, as of this evening, we have been given the last dance of Wayne Newton -- while Cheryl is thanking her lucky stars that her toe will remain intact, the rest of us will be thanking ABC for not subjecting us to any more close ups of his orange, botoxed face. Danke Schoen ABC!

Diva 1 out, and mourning the loss of eye candy Albert Reed...

Technorati Tags: dancing with the stars, sabrina bryan, marie osmond, 17 divas,Jane Seymour,Helio Castroneves,Jennie Garth, Mark Cuban,dws, abc, tv,Cameron Mathison

The Magical Mystery Tour de Force ~ Takin’ it to the Streets of Austin with their Newly Crowned Pick-up Artist Protégé Kosmo

2007-09-25T14:46:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Kosmo for earning the final medallion. I’m not sure what specifically the design on it represents (honor, greatness, bravery, Celtic love). However, I do know that Kosmo IS the Pick-Up Artist (PUA).

As such, he will be touring the globe with the freaky fishnet-top wearing super serious Mystery and his douche bag wingmen, Snoopdog & the other one, or is it Matador and Snoopy, no wait, it’s Matador and J-Dog. I bet they need to spit some mad game when they open a set and introduce themselves with those names. It’s a good thing they have the title and skills of a Master PUA to their credit, otherwise, could be a slippery slope that one.

Back to the Mystery Man. Didn’t Mr. M get the last note that got passed around the entire home room class of the last 80’s romantic teen angst movie probably starring Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Andrew McCarthy, Rob Lowe, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy and all the other brat packers. The note said, in case you were wondering M, “In the future there will be no more fishnet tops unless you are performing or marching in the gay pride parade which btw is totally cool with us if that’s what you’re into (although our bone-head Principal Richard Vernon, all the unreformed a-hole jocks, the snooty princess debutants, and just general resident high school jerks wouldn’t agree but we and the super cool janitor think their crazy). Let’s remember to always be excellent to each other!!.” Well, the note went something like that anyway. I digress…

Seriously though, as much as I kid and well, throw some zingers out to this misfit crew of crusaders (and I’m not talking about the students or AFCs – that’s average frustrated chumps if you’re nasty or Janet Jackson or ignorant to PUA lingo), they are really doing a lot of good out there. I mean when you strip it down, this show really offered up some smart heartfelt behavioral psychology. The team of nerdy & seriously social/female-phobic guys really turned around.

With the help of Mystery & his crew of Joes & Hoes these guys developed healthy self-esteem and the ability to function and succeed in social situations with women. We got the chance to witness these transformations as their phobias and negative self-images melted away. Joe D. seemed most moved by the whole experience and it was really cool to see how great he felt at the end. God bless him, he just needs to come up with some better ‘threads’. Anyone who has been watching the show knows that’s not 70’s hippy-speak for clothes. There’s been more girl-on-girl combat in Austin over some dude named George. Who is this George? And what is he doing to the female populous in this otherwise peaceful, loving, politically evolved anti-Bush “war no more” capital of Texas.

On another note, in all fairness, I think Brady got side swiped when Kosmo was crowned King of the Chumps. He should have gotten a bit more camera time and kudos from M & the gang. Just a “hey man, close but no medallion, job well done, you’re awesome and will go far dude” would have been nice, then they could throw their arms around Kosmo in a very heterosexual manly way.

There have been many postings/rumors/possible truths about how Kosmo and Brady were “cast” - as in they’re actors/models. According to these commentators, it was no accident that they ended up as the final two. Not sure about all that and quite frankly I’m not so sure I care either way.

I got a lot out of this show. In addition to the shear entertainment value, picking up some fun new vocabulary (that probably won’t make it into Webster’s anytime soon) I learned some things that I believe even I can work on in my interactions with men. You know, I can DHV with my positive Avatar that will encourage men to throw Gambit my way giving me the IOI which might turn me into a Pivot if I am interested as well at which point I may deliver the IOI that might lead to KINO escalation that might deliver some good vibrations leading to a Bouncing situation back to his/my place where we can physically negotiate compliance testing as we KINO escalate into a possibly heavenly state of nonverbal communication otherwise known as SEX or six if you’re Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Concords. I’d love to share some KINO with that luscious KIWI any day, any night, any where!!!! Oops, I digress again! What am I apologizing for? This is my damn blog, I do what I want. How’s that for DHV!! Peace & Love Y’all!

Diva 3 outtie!!

P.s. Translations PUA-speak to English.

AFC – Average Frustrated Chumps

Avatar – Persona, Image

Bounce – Change locations

Compliance Test – Checking Comfort Level

DVH – Demonstration of Higher Value

Gambit – A conversation starter

IOIs – Indicators of Interest Nonverbal signs that show that a woman is attracted to you

IODs – Indicators of Disinterest – nonverbal signs that show that a woman isn’t attracted to you

KINO – Physical touch, or kinesthetic

Moving Targets – Sets that are in motion

Multiple Threading – Weaving between various stories

Neg – Playful form of teasing

Niquito – Chick Magnet

Pivot – A woman who assists in opening sets

Qualifying – The act of trying to prove to someone how worthy you are

Roll off – Showing disinterest by turning body

Set – Group of people

Stacking – Moving from one story to another

Thread – Line of Conversation

Two Set – two people

Oh, and by the way, back to Bret McKenzie, cutest Kiwi ever. New Zealanders are often referred to as Kiwis after the national kiwi bird, that is, not surprisingly the cutest bird ever!

Watch Kosmo get Krowned:

Technorati Tags: mystery, the pickup artist season finale, reality tv, 17 divas,kosmo,the pickup artist,the pick up artist, brady,flight of the conchords, bret mckenzie, j-dog,matador

Kosmo is King!

2007-09-24T22:18:00.000-07:00

I was sad and forlorn that my Sunday Night double HBOgasm of Entourage and Flight of the Conchords was gone from my life last nite. But was slowly consoled by tonite's reality tv buffet - no I did not watch Dancing with the Stars- I'll leave my fellow divas to talk that one. But btw the PUA finale and the new Bachelor this Diva was in hog heaven.

On the pickup artist season finale Kosmo beat Brady for the title and last medallion. As the two finalists had 8 hours to make-over an AFC and transform him from chimp to pimp in a day, surprisingly both student's students couch closed and number closed. Kind of makes you wonder why it took Mystery weeks to get some of his students to do what Brady and Kosmo got their chumps to do in a day. Despite a stellar performance and what seemed a head-to-head competition, Kosmo was awarded the final medallion and the title forever on his resume - Master Pickup Artist. He will now travel the globe with Mystery, J Dog and Matador perfecting his techniques and wooing women from sea to shining sea.

and so we leave Austin city limits but not much and head to the newest Bachelor featuring Brad, a multiple bar owner from Austin. Now let me just say that I am a bit disturbed that there have now been 3 Bachelors in a row - it used to be they'd alternate Bachelor then Bachelorette. Now us Divas all know that there is NO shortage of single females thus making this somewhat inexcuseable. Plus, I'd rather watch 20 guys than 1.

Ok, so Brad - who seems scared and wide-eyed meets and greets and kisses the lot. And the fashion police need to raid the mansion there was a high percentage of BAD fashion - a majority of these dresses were unflattering and ill-fitting. people, people do you not have a mirror?

So it's Brad the Bachelor, with standout future Mrs. Brad wannabe's who include:

1. Jenni - who got the 1st impression rose due to her big smile and somewhat awkward dancing.

2. Morgan - who to the delight of Brad, showed him her webbed toes. (sweet!)

3. The Contortionist - name forgotten but her bending her body so her mouth met her crotch - not so much unforgetttable.

4. Chicken Cutlets Anyone? - this being the bachelorette who stuffed her dress with faux boobs only to have one of them fall out and end up on the cocktail table.

5. Mallory - who turned into a mermaid ditching her evening gown for the bathing suit competition and having a 1 person pool party where she proceeded to tell the Bachelor that he should drop his pants and join her.

This is the 2nd season in a row that hints at trouble in reality paradise with foreshadowing of an ambulance - you'll all recall how the ambulance made an appearance in the Andy the Bachelor show when Bevin fell and broke her ankle.

blah , blah blah and then 10 women were sent home.

-diva 4

Technorati Tags: mystery, the pickup artist season finale, reality tv, 17 divas,the bachelor,kosmo,brad the bachelor,the pickup artist

Mystery Meat

2007-09-23T18:30:00.000-07:00

Go on, admit it, I'm not the only waiting in anticipation of The Pickup Artist's season finale Monday nite - you know you are!

I don't know what rock they found him under in Canada, but some guy named Mystery ( oooh that's so mysterious, can I sleep with you?) contends to be a master pick up artist and together with his sidekicks try to teach a class of average shmo's - not joes - how to get it on with women.

For those of you who have not been paying attention the last few weeks here's the 411:

1. The Mystery

Some Canadian dude, (ey) who goes by the name Mystery (think Flavor of Love meets Tommy Lee meets The Red Barron) who is a self-proclaimed pick-up artist. Able to hump women in record time, bounce them from the grocery store checkout to the motel6 in under 20 minutes, he brings new meaning to Justin Timberlake's lyrics, "I'll have you naked by the end of this song."

2. The Sidekicks

Matador and J Dog are Mystery's celebrated proteges from years gone by. The three of them are pretty proud of themselves. There's enough ego hear to sink a ship.

3. The Students

What started out 8 scared male virgins has narrowed down to the final 2 in the ultimate face-off to find the NEXT master pickup artist. These guys are hilarious and the biggest group of cry babies this side of the pediatric ward. Sobbing and hand-holding at elimination ceremonies, these nerds have taken bonding to a new level. But good for them, nothing says sexy like a man who's not afraid to cry.

Joe D might in fact be the most lovable loser - a social misfit living in his parents basement who is refreshingly comfortable in his skin (he's not lean) and who against all odds made it down to the final 3. Then there was Pradeep - fun to say, but not so fun to listen to. An over-thinker who doesn't know when to shut up or recognize when a woman is blatantly blowing him off.

4. The Location

Austin, Texas seems to be the proud city hosting this reality show-tacular. Lucky women of Austin have had to deal with some pretty mad game.

5. The Lingo

Any good reality show knows that it has to give the pop-culture fanatics something to chew on - lingo, language, show-isms that will live on and roll off the tongues of fans long after the show has been cancelled. The pickup artist might actually have some of the most memorable lip smack you've ever heard. It is with laughter and astonishment that you listen to these Pickup Artists use their made-up terminology with such serious delivery. Prime example is when during a field test Mystery and Matador are watching a student's performance in a bar and Matador blurbs, "I can't believe him, that was the perfect time to kino escalate!" (LMAO) And since you're now asking yourself what the hell is that, we bring you the Pickup Artist Terms and Chatter:

Set - Group of People

IOI - Indicator of Interest

IOD - Indicator of Disinterest

Kino - Kinesthetic "touch"

Kino Escalate - Increased Kino

Neg - Playful teasing

Bounce - Immediate "Date" at another Location

Kiss Close - Kiss your Target

Number Close - Get the Digits of Your Target

5. The Lessons

These are some of the shortest classes I've ever attended - but I guess these geeks get the point. Standout lessons from Season 1 include: Listening to what a woman wants, How to pick up a moving target, How to pickup a stripper, a 411 on Ladies Lingerie, How to Kiss and of course, How to Spit Mad Game.

6. The Field Tests

After each love lesson the men are sent into the field to be tested on what they learned. The field tests are where we get to watch these guys crash and burn or score in an actual bar or social venue.

Highlight field tests included the Blindfolded kiss test where the students were judged on their kissing skills by Mystery's blindfolded friend, Tara. Then there was the lingerie shopping test where after viewing a lingerie fashion show starring Tara and another lady, the guys had to go shopping for them keeping in mind the things they said they liked or didn't like (otherwise known as the Listening test).

The moving target test caused them all to bite it as they attempted to pick up women moving, running and biking on the bridge in Austin against numerous obstacles. Surprisingly the guys as a unit had the most success in Expose, an Austin exotic dance club, where Brady even Bounced a dancer into the limo outside and totally "scored."

What is perhaps the most comical moments in these field tests is to hear each contestant spit the same pickup lines over and over and over. It's like once they marry themselves to a "shtick" they stick with it. Like Brady - whose signature pickup schpeal is "Can I ask you something - It's a very important question, very important - Do you floss BEFORE or AFTER you brush?" or Joe D - whose signature conversation starter goes, "Oh my god, did you see that fight outside? Yeah there were these two women going at it over some guy! You didnt see that?" (side note: Fake fights in Austin rose 90% for the duration of filming.)

7. The Medallions

At each elimination ceremony the geek squad is awarded medallions. On Flavor of Love the contestants get clocks, on the Bachelor they get a rose, on Survivor they get food other than a bug to eat. These Pickup Artist Medallions are color-coded and each color has a very meaningful symbol and of course, technical name which I cannot recall, nor will you.

8. The Final Showdown

The Pickup Artist season finale pits Brady versus Kosmo left to battle it out for the cash prize of $50,000 and the priceless award of traveling and continuing their mentorship with Mystery and his entourage. You'd think a lifetime supply of condoms would be a more appropriate prize given the context of the challenge. But the winner will have to cough up the cash for those himself.

***********

Learn how to pick up a moving target now:

-d4

Technorati Tags: mystery, the pickup artist, reality tv, 17 divas,matador,how to pick up women,pick up artist

Hey! Nielsen - Thanks!

2007-09-23T17:43:00.000-07:00

A big thanks to Hey! Nielsen for nominating us for their 1st Annual TV BLOG CONTEST.

Like our blog? Vote for us:

Technorati Tags: hey nielson, blog contests, best tv blog contest, 17 divas

Never eat oreos again

2007-09-17T20:12:00.000-07:00

this disgusting new Domino's commercial features their newest "pie" the oreo dessert pizza - it's enough to make you never eat an oreo again. thanks!

Technorati Tags: oreo pizza, dominos pizza, tv commercials, 17 divas

VMA's - One Big Train Wreck!

2007-09-10T08:39:00.000-07:00

Not sure who was manning the helm at last night's VMA Awards, but the captain of the ship had a titanic tragedy on his/her hands! Starting off with the over-hyped Britney Spears' opening number - where, oh, where do you begin to comment on this truly misfortunate public display of unpreparedness and lapse in judgement. Britney opened the VMA's with what can only be categorized as a catatonic, lethargic and unprofessional performance of monsterous proportions!

Britney seemed completely out-of-it as she barely kept up with the lip-synching and dance steps. It was as if she were doing a first-run through of this in her basement. I've seen more life in a piece of fruit. Even the dozen dancers around her couldn't camouflouge her lacklusterness. Dressed in no more than a bikini, Britney's costume only added to her fiasco, highlighing her not-so-rock-hard abs and body language that all but said, "Are we done yet?"

As bad as Britney was she can take comfort in the fact that she was not the worst part of the VMAs.... that award goes to the ever-irritating and inappropriate Sarah Silverman who had the difficult task of being the act immediately following Britney. If the show hadn't already been killed in the first 2 minutes, Sarah Silverman stabbed a few more knives into the corpse. You could hear a pin drop and see the disgusted looks on the faces of those in the audience as Ms. Silverman attempted her off-beat, poorly-timed humor to zero laughs and crickets...lots and lots of crickets!

I cannot comment further on the VMA's as that's the point at which I turned the channel.

Technorati Tags: vma awards, vma, britney spears, britney on vma awards, britney, sarah silverman

Jemaine or not Jemaine? That was the question!

2007-08-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

It really was Jemaine Clement!! (of Flight of the Conchords)
on Rivington and Allen St. in NYC's LES August 30th.

Two dumb divas stood by evaluating the initially-thought-to-be
"Jemaine poser" trying to decide if he was real or fake. diva 3 loves Bret and diva 4 loves Jemaine - For such strong fans of the show this should have been a slam dunk ID of the suspect, and diva 4 seriously needs to have her eyes checked given her comment that he was just some guy 'pimping out the whole jemaine look.'

Ironically, the Bret girl, was fairly convinced this was Jemaine, pointing
out distinct features, i.e. the space between his teeth, the broad shoulders and
narrow waist, etc. However, the ever skeptical Jemaine girl was not
at all convinced. His height was throwing her off, she thought he was much taller. Not to mention IMDB.com has it listed as 6'1 & 1/2", and this guy seemed no more than 5'10".

After a half an hour of - embarrassed to admit - not so subtle gawking at
Rivington & Allen, neither willing to approach him, Jemaine and crew were
on the move. In true Mel fashion we commenced a stalk/walk
otherwise known as a stwalk where evidence was mounting that it might actually BE him
(a girl on her cell screaming "he looked right at me.", a guy we saw run to
talk to him and then fly a block back in the other direction to catch up with
his friends). This was turning into a true fiasco which could have been so
easily solved with a "hey, are you Jemaine?", "wanna get down to some business?" or "boom me baby!" but NOOOOOO we just stood there like idiots!

Finally after following the alleged Jemaine and friends nearly 30 blocks where they ultimately ducked into the Grassroots Tavern dive bar on St. Marks, where practically 20 people on the sidewalk spilled in with them - two lame divas hopped in a cab continuing to debate was it or wasn't it. After re-viewing several Concords episodes & seeing a gawker.com jemaine sighting post the next day that was clearly during our pursuit of the suspect, we had our answer. (The incompetant inspector Jacques Clouseau from the 70's Pink Panther movies would have done far better at solving this mystery!).

Unfortunately it was business time & we had punched out our time sheets way to soon. Business time was definitely over and we were FIRED!!

Somehow we will move on from this botched would-be encounter
with greatness. It will take lots of ice cream (soy delicious for the vegan diva)
and some therapy, but we'll get through the dark hours and find solace
once again.

Sighning (that's right, sigh-ning) off,
The Shy Siren Diva's

Technorati Tags: jemaine clement, jemaine clement sightings, celebrity sightings, flight of the conchords, fotc, 17 divas

In Defense of Paris Hilton

2007-06-28T07:26:00.000-07:00

Well, the hotel heiress has been sprung from the slammer and had her first post-jail interview last night on Larry King Live. Immediately following the interview Anderson Cooper and a panel of sharks dissected and chopped her words into tiny little pieces – they were not alone.

First let me say that this diva is in the minority of folks who think that Paris’ crime did not fit the time. (apparently 63% think it did). HELLO – some actors kill people in cold blood and are out playing golf!

During the interview Paris described her time in the big house, read deep moments from her solitary confinement scriptures and told how she ordered the bible from the commissary (inmates are not allowed to bring anything in jail with them upon admittance.) and read it almost daily.

Larry King tried to get Paris to bad-mouth Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie but Paris didn’t take the bait! She smiled her glossy-lipped smile and declared what a good mother Britney is, that she wishes Lindsay the best and that Nicole is like a sister to her and she’d hate for anything bad to happen to her. (uh , we guess this means Nicole is no longer in Paris’ dog house.)

While Anderson Cooper and the lot go on and on about how vapid Paris is, how immature she is and how after 3 weeks pondering what good she can do in the world still seems to be teetering, this Diva would like to discuss the more important issues at hand….What she was wearing and how she looked! GOSH, people, you’ve missed the whole point!

First off, let me say I loved her dress – bone colored beige number with deep scoopneck and bow tie front – I’ll take one of those! Second, her make-up – true, her lips were properly coated and shiny in gloss, but I felt her mascara looked gloppy and needed a ‘comb-thru’ to separate the lashes.

And to Anderson’s disbelief that Paris could not recount a single favorite passage from the bible when asked by Larry King , this Diva retorts – HAVE you SEEN the bible???? It’s a BIG BOOK!!!

God Bless you Paris, may you prosper and show the world the changed woman you claim to be!

- Diva 4

Technorati Tags: paris hilton, larry king live, anderson cooper, paris released from jail, nicole richie, lindsay lohan, britney spears

A Diva's Final(e) Observations...

2007-05-22T23:02:00.000-07:00

Well ladies and gents, the time has come to bid farewell once more to our beloved Idol. Notwithstanding the talented gentry of this year, to wit Sundance, Our Fair Lady Melinda, the Follicly-challenged Phil and the Lovely Lady Lakisha, it has truly been the year of the teen.

Even thought there is little doubt tonight's crown will go to Jordin (who, coincidentally, sports the good luck nose piercing of the original Idol, KC), Diva 1 offers a few, final observations:

(1) Winner of best summary of the evening goes to CNN, who earlier on Tuesday declared tonight's contest to be one of "Beauty and the Beat Boxer." They must have been reading our clever witty site to come up with that one!

(2) Winner of best song of the night goes to, ironically, the Idol Song. Two unknowns managed to best an industry of writers, and Tamyra Gray, to give us the least annoying IS of the last several seasons. Kudos to them, and shame on Ryan for giving them less than 2 seconds of fame....

(3) Diva 1, notwithstanding the judges, thought Blake's best *vocal* was the IS. Although she finds it hard to get behind a boy wearing a sparkly, aqua argyle vest with matching camp shirt. Diva 1 had that outfit -- minus a considerable number of sparkles -- in the sixth grade. If Blake is nice, he might get to borrow the matching turquoise lightning bolt earrings...

And, while Diva 1 was NOT shot through the heart by the Bon Jovi song, it was far less hideous the second time around, largely due to the great performance...

(4) Diva 1 believes Jordin's best vocal of the night was the Broken Wings, although she wouldn't say (a la the Big Dawg) that it was better than the original. Diva 1 also appreciates that Jordin took a page out of recent seaon runners-up and dressed big for the final number, even if it was bit pitchy and screechy. Lesson learned? Sparkly dress, big earrings, a few tears and some heartfelt emotion WINS BIG.

(5) Finally, Mr. Daughtry should fire his stylist. The heavy eye make-up was super creepy, even if he sang really well. He's the lead singer for Daughtry, NOT Linkin' Park (in case he happened to leave his cd cover at home)...

Soooo, tune in tomorrow, when all the big things happen. Diva 1 can't wait to see who sings with who, which age old rock singers look for a boost in their careers (I'm talking YOU Meatloaf), what else the painkillers will make Paula say, and how Seacrest stretches 30 seconds of news into 2 painful hours.

Kate Walsh having Best Week After Week Ever!

2007-05-04T09:10:00.000-07:00

Poor Kate Walsh. She's got the toughest job in the world. week after week she's sucking face with the hottest men around. McSteamy, McDReamy, McAlex and now McTimDaly. I can barely fathom the difficulty she must have getting up and going to work. all this Diva knows is Kate Walsh is one lucky lady.

In last night's 2 hour special and foreay into the much-talked about Grey's Anatomy spin-off, kate walsh hit a home run, and already got to first base in one of the HOTTEST tv kisses ever! I don't know what Tim Daly's been doing for the last few years, but bulking up at the gym and maintaining his sizzle factor have clearly been taking up his time. as Randy Jackson would say, "check it out, check it out, that was HOT Dawg, that was HOT!!"

Meanwhile, there was something familiar to me about Addison's best friend who owns the wellness spa with her separated husband. Then Diva 3 pointed out to me that she's Allison from Alias, Sydney Bristo's roommate who was killed and cloned to kill her. And Sark from Alias was also in a bit role.

one of the many things this Diva loved about this spin-off is the cute male surfer receptionist who at 1pm trades his work clothes for a pair of boardshorts and sex waxes up his board before hitting the waves for lunch everyday. the gals in the office spontaneously gather at 12:55 to drool, then again at 1:55 to witness the same show "wet".

loving it! D4

Technorati Tags: kate walsh, grey's anatomy, tim daly, addison, mcdreamy, tv,mcsteamy,greys spinoff show

Bizzaro Night On Idol!!

2007-05-02T16:11:00.000-07:00

Very Swollen Diva wasn't sure if the pregnancy hormones had finally boiled her brain away to the point she could no longer properly assess contestants!! Phil rocked the house? LaKeisha kicked serious ass? Chris didn't sing out of his nose the whole time? Blake was far from boring?? And Jordin sucked beyond all belief and recognition??

At least Melinda was there to anchor things with another solid performance. Unlike Diva One, I could tolerate her affect after tonight's performance. I felt as if rockin' out to Bon Jovi was totally out of her comfort level, unlike so many of her other performances- that are usually better but obviously more in her comfort zone. So, she really did need the reassurance that, yes, she once again proved she's the best vocalist and showman in the bunch.

But back to our surprises- once again, I marveled at Phil. He was damn lucky to last this long and finally hit his stride. I did see what Simon was getting at, but not to that extent. Phil isn't a rocker, and shouldn't really aspire to be. And come on Diva One, surely you jest, he just doesn't have that cool-hotness that Chris Daughtry did! Phil is a dork, and a little creepy- but he's really proving himself to be a helluva performer! There's a niche for him- not rock, not crooning, but maybe some Christian/Country type music? Someone obviously likes him- other than just Diva One!

I've been ready to see LaKeisha go, but I would truly be sad if she went home after this week's utterly amazing performance. She got both her brains and her pipes back. She made a wise choice of song and interpretation, with virtually no shouting. Yes, she did truly deserve that kiss, and seeing Simon with her lipgloss all over his face was the highlight of the night!

The lowlight, however, was my usual favorite- Jordin. I'm hoping that her frank admission that she totally sucked will save her, along with her excellent performance (and tons of votes) from last week. She honestly rivaled Sanjaya in her out and out suckiness. If I had been able to fast forward through it, I would have. Good lord.

And I finally realized JUST how young she is- her MOTHER grew up on Bon Jovi?? And poor Jordin clearly did not know this song at all. Which this child of the 80's/90's finds completely incomprehensible. Contestants like Phil were clearly at the advantage this week- he'd been practicing his song in the mirror almost as long as Jordin has been alive!

My real and true highlight of the night was BLAKE!! I loved it. I'd listen to it. I'd buy it. DH said he'd buy an album of Blake's Idol performances thus far. I agree, I thought last night's performance was BRILLIANT. He kept the big rockin' chorus we all love, but twisted all the right spots to make it his own. He made everyone else look like they were singing Karaoke. I hope his gamble pays off.

And Chris, I liked him, liked he knew someone had to sing Dead Or Alive, liked his less-nasally tone, but I think this is his swan song. Two people have to go this week, and I just cannot fathom how he cannot be one of them.

But who will the other one be??? LaKeisha? Jordin? I'm really not sure, but we all know how unpredictable Idol can be, so there's a good chance we could see *gasp* Melinda go home. And Blake's big gamble could kill him. I loved it, but I think Simon and Bon Jovi are right- there are a lot of people like Diva One who don't want some weird kid messing around with their Bon Jovi!

Diva Four speaks the greatest truth about out night, though. What the hell was up with Monkey Boy George Bush showing up?? I was really touched by last week's fundraiser, but seeing the Bushes last night made me shudder. Blech.

I must agree with Diva One- Bon Jovi proved himself to be a great mentor. LuLu might still be my favorite of this season, but I really enjoyed his frankness and enthusiasm. I must admit, I was kind of dreading a night of Bon Jovi, fearing it would be a night of retro shouting. But this ended up being one of my favorite Idol nights!

Of course, it could be the hormones talking. Oh, and as of today, they estimate Baby Joe weighs 8 lbs 14 ounces. And the due date is still 9 days away!! Wish me luck ladies. I know my doctor is hoping I'll go into labor next Wednesday because she's on call- but that means missing Idol!!!

Technorati Tags: american idol, melinda, american-idol, george bush, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas, phil stacey, jordin sparks,blake,melinda doolittle

That WAS a Love Song!

2007-05-01T21:20:00.000-07:00

Diva 1 loved Lakisha, from the simple look, sultry hair, and absolutely SMOKIN' performance. Superb performance, and one that was her own. I hope she's around for another week!

Diva 1 also loves Jon Bon Jovi; he has a rep for being a humble Jersey boy, and tonight he proved it, being (perhaps) the most sincere and helpful "mentor" the Idol-bes have had this season.

Not to mention he loves some Phil Stacey, just like Diva 1 -- who, not surprisingly, again feels like he was robbed of the praise he deserved. He had a great song choice, a controlled vocal, and one that wasn't screechy (unlike several other performers tonight). And he was more watchable than ever. Clearly Simon, I mean someone, is worried about having another Taylor Hicks on his hands. Perhaps he should be reminded that, much like another famous bald Idol-be (can you say Daughtry?), he could be poised to sell tons of records. Josh Gracin -- the army rep of seasons past -- had the number one country record and stayed firmly in 4th on the charts for nearly a year after he was booted.

Jordin? Completely unwatchable, and unlistenable. For the first time ever, Diva 1 fast-forwarded an Idol performance.

Diva 1 thought Chris was good, and appreciated that (unlike his rehearsal with the afore-mentioned JBJ) his vocal was not the slightest bit nasally. D1 actually liked the gravelly tone, and thought it was a return to the more confident Richardson. It may not, however, be enough to ward off Blake the Boy-Bander. Rest assured, Diva 1 is firmly in the half of the population who does not want her Bon Jovi messed with. Didn't get it, didn't like it, wouldn't buy it. Sorry fella divas!

Last but not least, Ms. Doolittle. Diva 1 agreed with Randy: much better than last week, but not her best. Something about seeing her morph into Sally Fields ("you like me, you really like me") immediately after she quits singing takes a bit of the believability away for this Diva, notwithstanding Doolittle's competence...

Recap? Rock night was 50% rockin', JBJ is the teddy bear of rock, Paula needs to learn to do something other than squish her lips together and golf clap, and Lakisha earned that kiss...

Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, melinda, american-idol, lakisha simon kiss, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas, phil stacey, jordin sparks

A Kiss and A Bush as Idol Rocks Bon Jovi Night

2007-05-01T18:07:00.000-07:00

Simon must be getting some, b/c he's spreading the love. Simon kissed Lakisha after her performance he thought she was so good. Ryan, in particular, enjoyed that.

I'll say I thought everyone rocked it tonite! i Loved Blake's beeebop version! that was hot dawg! Chris is just adorable! and Melinda's attitude was da bomb!

Jordin's hair did looked a like a dead animal. and have to say, she was my least favorite of the nite.

oh, wait, no she wasnt'. my least favorite of the night was George and Laura Bush's cameo political maneuver to "get jiggy" with the young folks while commending the Idol viewing public for their generous contributions to Idol Gives Back. I'm sorry, but I didnt' hear them make a donation. Just a bad joke or two. At least he didn't stutter. Very bizarre.

d4

Technorati Tags: american idol, Idol Gives Back, american-idol, lakisha, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas

Tessa Takes the Lead

2007-05-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

On last night's bachelor, Andy Baldwin spent a group date with Amber, Bevin, Tina and Danielle assessing their "mom" quotient and their "community" factor as they did charity work creating a playground for an elementary school. Toiling soil, painting hopscotch boards and assembling tricycles and big wheels these gals did their best to paint themselves as the perfect mother to Andy's unborn children.

In a heart to heart talk Bevin confesses to Amber that it is makes her sick that someone who is 23 could be up against her mature-dness of 28 in the fight to win Andy. I mean, my GOSH, those ages are like night and day! In her 5 year advantage Bevin is INFINITELY more mature than AMber (as exhibited in this very scene)... NOT! God Lord, Bevin, you're TWENTY-EIGHT, not FORTY-EIGHT! GOI!

In one of the one-on-one dates, jeez, i cant remember her name, the 'other' stephanie i think, could barely form a sentence when Andy asked her about her career, dreams and future. Uhhhhhhhhh.... next!

Meanwhile, in the cliche "Pretty Woman" reinactment, Tessa received the one-on-one date complete with two million in diamonds and a stop off at Nicole Miller for a dress fitting of a princess before having a romantic date with Andy full throttle woo-ing her. I think this might actually be a first in Bachelor history that we've seen a bachelor CHASE a contestant. Nice going, Tessa.

so, at night's end Tina and Stephanie left the castle, rose-less and Andy-less.

This Diva predicts a showdown between Bevin and Tessa. And my ultimate Bachelor Finale prediction pegs Tessa as the one to win Andy's heart.

Diva 4 will be back for more,

Technorati Tags: andy baldwin, the Bachelor, tessa, bevin, amber, pretty woman, Bachelor, officer and a gentlemen, 17 divas, rose ceremony

Support Idol Gives Back!

2007-04-25T19:00:00.000-07:00

Idol Gives Back and a Diva Celeb Sighting

2007-04-24T21:43:00.000-07:00

The Idol Gives Back show aired tonite with the focus on charity more than singing. Kudos for AI for using their super powers for good! To find out how you can help, visit Idol Gives Back.

I was grateful to not have to watch a another romper-roomish Ford commercial featuring the contestants. I TOTALLY agree with Diva 1 - Simon looked HOT! Seeing him be nice to poor children kind of made him half human.

My ears must need to be cleaned because I had the opposite reaction to every contestant than the judges. I LIKED Blake - they hated him. I thought Chris hit some blatantly off-key notes - they loved him. Ditto for Jordin, she sounded shaky and off to me and they loved her.

I DID like Phil this week - 1st time. Lakisha and Melinda didnt wow me. And again, I agree with D1, Paula was a little wack-a-doodle comparing Fantasia to Celine and Maria. (please do not interpret this as I like Celine - I don't!!)

Now that Sanjaya is gone I don't really care who goes home.. I think it's anyone's game at this point.

Meanwhile, Diva 3, who has been delinquent in posting, had dinner at the table next to my absolute FAVE singer of the moment, Corinne Bailey Rae and her entourage, at a fave UWS eatery known for yummy lychee mist martinis! Good think I wasnt there, I might have asked her to put her records on and sing...especially after a martini or ten.

on another reality note, Bachelor Andy Baldwin did a pretty good job of sending home the "crazies" on last nite's Bachelor. Bye-bye to Stephanie Kansas and her fake hooters, brunette who made funny faces and tall blonde chic whose name escapes me. Amber staying was a surprise to me. I don't like her. But clearly Andy does. Bevin's whining about her foot is tiresome. So far my bets are on Tessa, time will tell. Andy seems nice and all but he's got pointier and harder tits than Simon or me.

don't even get me started on 'Dancing with the Stars.' You know how I know that show's gay? a 40 yr old virgin told me!

D4 outie

Technorati Tags: american idol, Idol Gives Back, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Corinne Bailey Rae, Dancing with the STars, the Bachelor

All That Glitters ...

2007-04-24T20:47:00.000-07:00

Is Paula, apparently. If she's not auditioning for a role in the LA reprisal of Dreamgirls, which apparently she's not because those girls were on Dancing With the Stars tonight, then she had no business wearing all that glittery gold nonsense. And I'm sorry, but Fantasia is not -- despite Paula's pronouncement -- in the same league as Celine, Mariah and Whitney. She's starring in The Color Purple for crying out loud.

A few other nonsensical observations before Diva 1 gets down to biznass...

First, Simon was looking, in the immortal words of Austin Powers, "dead sexy" tonight, even if Diva 1 is certain that he was wearing parachute pants with that top. The Other Simon -- Le Bon that is -- called, and he wants you to stop raiding his Duran Duran museum. Second, last week's ridiculous claim of "the highest vote ever in a top 7 show" conclusively proves that, despite all claims, even die hard Idol fans have gotten a little idle with the dialing (or just plain bored with this year's contestants). Hence tonight's "extra" voting time. Diva 1 predicts it won't help. But tune in tomorrow anyway for "the highest vote ever in a top 6 contest with 3 women and 3 men singing inspirational tunes..." and Sanjaya, on Leno, wearing Paula's outfit.

And now, for the contestants:

Diva 1 agreed with the judges that Chris R. started the night off with a killer vocal and performance, even if it took him about 20 seconds to really get started. However, he looked like he was headed to the local sadie hawkins dance with the cargos and the suit coat. Killer jacket? Only if we're talking about his fashion sense.

Diva 1 agrees with Swollen Diva -- Melinda is phoning it in, and her outfit was no exception to the conclusion that this was just another day at the office for her. Beware, however. Hayley wore those same shoes, and she's gone. This may mean Melinda finds herself in the bottom for the first time tomorrow.

Diva 1 agrees again with Swollen Diva, and the judges, that Blake was rather boring tonight. Surprisingly, it's Diva 1's favorite vocal of his in the last few weeks even if it wasn't very original or exciting. Apparently singing John Lennon requires an "homage" jacket. And while the Divas are sure that Paula gets all "sensitive and emotional" about Blake, let's keep the comments to the song please!

Lakisha, Lakisha, Lakisha. As Swollen Diva notes, Diva 1 rightly warned about the folly of picking an Idol song. Two Idol songs + two weeks = bottom two.

Phil. Another great song choice, and great performance (albeit slightly less great than last week). I just wish he would quit dressing like a poor man's Frank Sinatra. The hat worked for bald Daniel Powter, a 35-ish no man who bolted to the peak of fame last year with his "Bad Day" song, and it can work for you Phil! Besides, even if your wife needs to wear an H&M dress (and she was), you have an army of stylists at your disposal. Use them, Diva 1 would!

Diva 1 hopes, however, that Simon's prediction comes true and Phil is around for a little while longer...

Finally, Jordin. Diva 1 was waiting for Randy's signature pronouncement: "it was a little pitchy in the beginning, and the end, but the middle was hot!" Is Diva 1 the ONLY one who sees this? We want to love her as much as SD, but I feel like she's not giving me much to work with... other than that dress! Where can I get one?!

Until tomorrow, Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Fantasia, Simon Cowell

2007-04-24T18:32:00.000-07:00

Ah, what a great night of Idol. Honestly, I would not have cared if they all sang Whitney covers tonight. At least Sanjaya was gone. I loved that no one mentioned him, but I felt sure that's at least part of what Simon was referring to when he said that the competition really started tonight.

Are we ready to make finalist predictions?? Once again, I think Jordin has a strong chance to win it all. Everyone loves to see a contestant grow, and while Melinda is awesome, she's been unchangingly awesome from the first week. Jordin, on the other hand, has made a couple of stumbles, but in the last two weeks has pulled off those "rising music" performances that win Idol competitions.

Don't get me wrong, I loved Melinda's performance. She's mind-boggingly good. She is truly in a class by herself. But, honestly, she's too good for Idol. And that's why I don't think she'll win.

For once, I see what Diva One means about Blake being boring. I think he gave a solid performance, and I love the tone of his voice, but he hasn't been pulling out the "wow" factor needed at this stage in the competition.

And LaKeisha. *sigh* She needs to go for her sheer stupidity in picking yet another song from a former Idol. Good Lord, do these people not read Diva One's Lessons??? Hell, even PAULA told her it was a bad choice. Well, told her as much as Paula can.

The rest...who were they?

Swollen Diva OUT

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Lakisha, Melinda, 17 Divas, Jordin Sparks

Sanity Returns to the Reality TV Universe!!

2007-04-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

I will probably just echo the feelings of my fellow Divas, and probably all of the hearing world, but PRAISE JESUS, the reign of terror/joke that is Sanjaya is FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And not only that, drug-addled Jael finally got the boot from American's Next Top Model.

For the first time in many Wednesdays, I slept soundly, knowing that a few things were right in the world.

Diva 1, right there with you on your assessment of Country Night, except of course for your Blake bash. It was even MORE exciting given how the voting shook out. What a bottom three that was!! Blake and LaKeisha! Wowza.

LaKeisha did deserve her spot in the bottom. She has done nothing in weeks and weeks but prove that, as DH said from the beginning, she is a one-trick-pony. Her voice certainly has power, but no real range or versatility. And that power was all yelling on Tuesday- yelling at poor Baby Jesus that HE HAD BETTER COME AND TAKE THIS DAMN WHEEL, DAMMIT!! As Diva 1 so rightly pointed out, she broke the rules picking a former Idol's song, and although she won with that choice once, she got stung this time. I think her time on Idol is drawing to a close, she is just no match for Jordin or Melinda.

As much as I love Blake, he did kinda suck this week. But Diva 1 still shouldn't bash him! :) Was it me or was he horribly pitchy?? I was waiting for the judges to go in for the kill, but then they praised him? Even this Blake fan thought that was bizarre.

I also didn't think Jordin's vocals were all that. And I found her song choice oddly impudent. But once again Simon and I were sharing a brain. As her voice soared and she closed the song, I thought to myself "she could actually win this."

And just a few words about Phil- I still can't stand him, but I gotta him credit. He was AMAZING. Where has this guy been all season?? My jaw was on the floor. I kept checking myself- what, wait, this is Phil? This is country? But this is actually good??

I feel as if Idol is finally back on track- Diva 4 was correct, justice was finally served to Sanjaya, and we actually saw some interesting performances and growth among the contestants! This is shaping up to be an interesting battle!

Swollen Diva Out!
22 days until Due Date!!!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, idol, reality television

Justice is SERVED!! on American IDOL!!

2007-04-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! Justice is served on a platter this week, with Sanjaya Malakar being eliminated from American Idol.

How La Lu YA Praise the Lord!!

Bye, Bye, Sanjaya, don't let the Idol door hit your boney ass on the way out!!

Nice try, Vote for the Worst and Howard Stern - hope you enjoyed yourselves.

I have nothing more to say.

D4 outie.

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, idol, reality television

Jesus Take the Microphone

2007-04-17T22:39:00.000-07:00

Idol agreed was on the better side this week, but then this diva has a hankering for country. I LOVED jordin and Melinda... for me my top 2.

Sanjaya is getting more ridiculous every week and the bigger joke is that he seems so taken with himself. The only thing more tragic than Sanjaya tonite for me was Avril Lavigne's racoon eye make-up on Letterman. Someone please remove all makeup from her possession until the girl learns how to use it without offending defenseless wildlife.

Seacrest and Cowell got into some naughty bickering with Ryan practically coming to Sangina's defense. Is it me, or is this turning into a three-way?

and speaking of Letterman, for those who missed it, the 20-something geek who started the 'votefortheworst' website was a Tonight Show guest and is collecting his 15 minutes of fame. Apparently being the worst and voting for the worst clearly have their priveleges.

In other reality Tv news, Bachelor Officer Andy finally sent home Barbie Doll #2. Erin I think her name was. Her and her fast friend who went packing last week clearly took a wrong turn on their way to starring on "The Girls Next Door".

On Workout, Jackie is working out her lips juggling Rebecca and Tiffany.

And my favorite family, The Roloffs, celebrated Amy's Birthday and Molly's 13th birthday with some good old fashion cake.

D4 out.

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, The Bachelor, letterman, Jordin Sparks, idol, reality television, workout, avril lavigne

Smokin' Stacey Swings Away, and Sunoco Sanjaya Strikes Out ...

2007-04-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

Who would have ever thought that Country Week -- traditionally the most dreaded of Idol genres -- would prove to be the LEAST boring show to date? Certainly not this diva, much to her surprise and grateful thanks.

Diva 1 hates to begin by saying "I told you so" but she did say -- just last week -- that there was a performer somewhere inside of Phil Stacey. Stacey earned his highest praise ever, and rightfully so. Great vocal, great performance. Ok, bad outfit.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Georgia, there is a Sunoco gas station attendant who wants his outfit back and Bonnie Raitt wants all references to her name and Sanjaya's song stricken from the record books.

The Idols are also clearly not paying attention to the capital R Rules, as two more cardinal rules were broken: (1) never sing one of the mentor's songs, Jordin, and (2) never sing the song of a former Idol winner, Lakisha. Heed these words people! Even so...

Melinda Doolittle was back in fine form, giving the second best performance of the night. The hair extensions took YEARS off her appearance, even if the outfit was poorly chosen. One note, if Martina McBride hasn't heard the song, you can't call it "new." Hence no credit given for MD's unsubstantiated claims that this song, in fact, was recorded recently.

Jordin gets props for the third best performance of the evening in this Diva's book, although I did think it was a big nasally and tremulous. But she was dressed more like a Woodstock refugee and less like a country girl. I'll give her points, the outfit did look like it had wings (and a bit of the lame jacket she wore last week worked into the trim).

Lakisa gets props for the golden cowboy boots, the great makeup and the flattering dress. Nothing else.

Chris needs to give up his members only jackets, his nasal affection, and his cheesy camera side glare. I was reminded at points what a strong voice he has, but odds are he's in the bottom two given Hayley's absence, and the blinders the public seems to wear with respect to Sanjaya.

Last but not least, Blake. Again, I just don't get it -- he put the DULL in DULLSVILLE and the entire tv viewing population was staring up his nostrils again. We got red shoes last week for Latin week and he couldn't even muster a big belt buckle for country week? Even rascal flatts, the do gooders of country music wouldn't have worn that sweater (in fact the most conservative one just wed a playboy playmate). I expect a little less Hamptons and a little more bad boy if he's going to graduate from Boring Blake to Best.

Seriously, if things don't improve, Diva 1 could be out permanently!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Melinda Doolittle, blake, Jordin Sparks, idol, lakisha, phil stacey, country week on idol

Latin Lessons...

2007-04-10T22:14:00.000-07:00

Diva 1 is back in full stride following last week's hiatus (due to internet problems and Easter weekend) with this week's Idol Lessons. What DID we learn?

(1) If it wasn't written or sun by Gloria Estefan or Santana, its not Latin music. Seriously folks, five of tonight's eight songs were written and/or made famous by these two performers. Has no one heard of Celia Cruz (who got an honorable shout out from the Dawg), Julio Iglesias or Perry Como? Even Jon Secada (a former back up singer for the previously-referenced Estefan) recorded into the 90s and Julio's son sang in this decade. I'm even pretty sure that Charo had some music that might have been better choices than tonight's selection. And bonus points to anyone who knows who made Besame Mucho a "hit" song...

(2) Latin music requires a major in the color red, and a minor in animal prints. Seriously, count it up. Three contestants wore red tonight: Lakisha, Chris (who seriously looked like he stepped out of the Thriller video), and Blake (even the shoes). Three contestants wore seriously red lipstick: Melinda, Hayley, and Jordin. Multiple people wore some kind of printed clothing: Lakisha, Hayley, Chris and Sanjaya.

(3) Latin music is boring. At least when sung by American Idols. To wit:

Melinda looked like an old woman, fresh from the funeral home, and sung Sway as if it was a dirge. Michael Buble, who was just on last week, released this last year and it was totally fresh. The Pussycat Dolls sing it, and actually sound (a) like they're singing and (b) sweetly sexy. Take notes MD.

Our wedding singer was back, and proved that even satin camel toe cannot distract the judges from her lack of talent.

Jordin once again looked like she through a lame stage coat over her waitress' uniform to make it to the stage on time. Didn't get the judges' ravings, and I didn't think it sounded at all like Michael Jackson -- proving that JLo is not the end all be all of musical advice.

Blake started off intriguing, but ended up blank. Chris, in my opinion, is kicking his beat-boxing butt and had the hottest performance of the night.

As for Sanjaya, I now know what a woman with a mustache looks like. Thank you Mr. Malakar. Is it really a compliment when all the judges can say is, "well, it didn't totally s*ck?"

Finally, Diva 1 thinks Phil Stacey is not getting his due -- great vocal tonight, and great song choice. Better movement on stage. There IS a performer in there somewhere.

Until tomorrow,
Diva 1 out

ps -- Watch Dancing with the Stars. Joey FatOne rules!

Gina's Graceful Farewell on Idol

2007-04-04T18:35:00.000-07:00

well, another elimination nite on idol and another talented idol contestant gets robbed by Sanjaya. Not even in the bottom 3, Sanjaya should feel like a schmuck for being in this competition while actual talent leaves us each week and he stays to annoy us some more with his ridiculous hair, oversized clothing and cocky attitude that makes Simon seem nice. He should take his skinny ass and vote himself off and run far far away. Sanjaya has made this season of American Idol an absolute Farce!

Gina and Haley were voted in the bottom 2 tonite. Haley clearly thought it was her swan song but her "great leg" campaign seems to be working for her. She's working her gams for everything they've got and as Simon admitted, she's got some great legs. She's appeared in nothing but short shorts and short dresses up to her cooter since the competition began. When she inevitably IS voted off Idol, this diva's fairly sure she can book a Nair commercial.

Gina was graceful and fought thru her tears to sing her final song on idol tonite, ironically titled "smile though your heart is aching". Sorry, Gina. Check your bank account tomorrow - Sangina strikes again!

I can just imagine the contempt the other Idol contestants must have towards Sangina on these elimination nites.

But, Idol world, fear not. Idol fame is what you make of it whether you're # 5 or #1. Anyone heard a peep from Taylor Hicks since last season? uh no. But Kelli Pickler and Chris Daughtry are everywhere... you almost forget who actually won the competition.

D4 annoyed and out.

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gina Glocksen, idol elimination night, Haley Scarnato, idol, fox, reality tv

Officer and a Gentlemen New Bachelor Begins

2007-04-04T11:31:00.000-07:00

The new bachelor premiered this week featuring 30 year old Lt. Andy Baldwin, triathelete, doctor and officer. As far as bachelors go Andy might be the most decent gent they've featured yet. And for being such a good guy, I was surprised at the bad lot of women he was given. I was largely unimpressed by most of them, but one of those 25 women will be proposed to by the end of the bachelor season. as they say, it only takes one.

ABC is having a field day with the "officer and a gentlemen" tagline and all the bravado that comes with it. Not sure if it was Andy's car or not, but Lt. Andy Baldwin arrives at the bachelor castle in a Lambergini like batman in the gotham city! The first episode, as per the course, consisted of 50 hugs (25 women x hello hug + goodbye hug), 25 cheek kisses, 25 whats your name exchanges, 1 really bad joke about a muffin, 1 corny fortune cookie recited, 3 blunt approaches to the rose on the tray and countless pleasantries about nothing.

This season has some of the same bachelor ingredients we've come to know and love: the dejected and bitter first nite send-homer, the foretelling of a woman obsessed - (ie. ambulance shot), cat fights, drunken stoopers, fake tits and tacky dresses. it also added some new ingredients to the mix: singing contestants better than american idol's Sanjaya (not a stretch), gymnastics, baking with alcohol, and patriotism.

I'll give Andy this, by the time the first rose ceremony took place he did a fairly good job of weeding out the riff-raff. I'm grateful for the fact that i do not have to see the woman OCD body builder with the enormously large eyes and mouth on camera again....she got more of her share of camera time as they cut to her after every single rose was handed out. i swore i wouldnt get sucked into another bachelor but here i go again!

d4

tag technorati : the bachelor, andy baldwin, officer and a gentlemen, bachelor tv show, reality tv, new bachelor, abc

Gwen Stefani goes on an Idol Smack Down!!

2007-03-27T19:39:00.000-07:00

Ok, it doesn't sound like dear old Gwen did much more than listen to our Idols sing through their songs once. But did I love that she was honest about not liking what some of them did, and her critiques were spot on. I can't believe some of our Idols didn't listen to her advice- or did they ever hear it?? AND it sounded like she's actually been watching the show! But I do still love having the sweet has-beens like LuLu on the show. They just get so excited. Idol is just too cheesy to justify real stars like Gwen and J.Lo.

Anyway- tonight's performances. As usual, Melinda blew everyone out of the water. I do love seeing her every week. Has the girl ever hit a wrong note in her entire freaking life??? I can't believe she worked as a back up singer and no one saw the talent radiating off of that girl. I'm betting there are some producers kicking themselves now.

But I have to say, what I enjoyed most this week was seeing the hard work some of our Idols are putting into winning this thing. This effort was by far the most evident in Gina. I was blase about her early in the season, but she's seriously growing on me. She is clearly going above and beyond the advice the judges are giving her. She's toning up her body, working on her voice, and being savvy about her song choice. As brilliant as Melinda is, there is something fun about watching someone like Gina pour it on.

Same could be said, to some extent, for both Jordin and Phil. I adore Jordin, and still overall like her more than Gina, but her performance this week wasn't as great as last week. And I still can't stand Phil, but I gotta admit, he has improved and grown. His vocals tonight were great. But he still creeps me out. Bad. *Shudder*

But I'm with the judges- by far my frontrunner for the guys is Blake. I didn't love love love tonight, but I do love love love him. I'd buy an album of just what he's done so far on Idol. For reals.

Last week, Diva Husband challenged Swollen Diva to name her top four. I had a hard time with the decision last week. but this week, I'm pretty confident. At least with who I *think* should make it. Sooo....drum roll please...my top four: Melinda, Blake, Jordin, and Gina. That's who I'd like to see, but I have a fear Chris R. will knock out Gina.

Who else sang? Does it matter? Oh, yeah, Sanjaya. Simon is right, as usual. He's in his own universe. He's staying another week. I have accepted it. There's just no point in giving spoilers like Howard Stern and the trolls at Vote for the Worst the satisfaction of ranting about their tactics. I may be lame for loving Idol, but I think it has got to be even more lame to be a "Vote for the Worst" supporter. LOL

My guess for who's going home, putting aside Sanjaya: I think it *should* be Hayley. I thought her performance was literally painful. But I think that both Chris's are in trouble.

Ok, Swollen Diva has to go pack now. Heading to Baltimore for a conference in the AM. We're driving...and stopping every 30 minutes to pee! Wish us luck!!!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, Vote for the worst, Melinda Doolittle, Gina Glocksen, Blake

Phil Stacey is the Bomb Diggity!

2007-03-27T19:28:00.000-07:00

Diva 1, after a short hiatus, is back tonight with thoughts abrim on Gwen Stefani night. Prepped with a panoply of notes, she is prepared to declare Phil Stacey tonight's stand out winner -- if only for the fact that he followed the cardinal Idol rule -- Never Sing the Guest Artist's Song. Ever. Phil's outfit was rocking and finally made him look more like a pop-star than a pin-up grandfather. He delivered a superb vocal, without any crazy eye syndrome, and picked a song that made you forget his ineptness at stomping around the stage and his macarena-like hip shaking of last week. Loved it, and loved him. To quote his wife's sign from last week, Divas Loved Our Sailor!

(Diva Note: Phil's excellence was not suppressed by the fact that my dvr chose Phil's soaring chorus to freeze up for an entire second -- the beauty of the time display -- and demonstrate fully the fallacy of taping both Dancing with the Stars and Idol at the same time. For future reference, all fellow DWS addicts should simply turn over at 5 to 10 to see who gets ousted unceremoniously.)

(Side side note: Diva 1 is seriously bummed that she won't see Paulina P -- aka Ms. Ric Ocasek -- work her magic on DWS. Diva 1 demands a recount, or at least that Ms. Mills' partner rip off the fake leg like Billy Ray scalped Karina.)

Tonight's runner-up prize goes to Gina Glocksen -- although I had to close my eyes to try to wipe the heinous outfit out of my short (and long) term memory, the vocal was the best female vocal of the night. My only advice? Fire that stylist, and the hair dresser who turned you into a one-eyed wonder. You are not the invisible daughter from The Incredibles.

As for the rest...

Lakisha: Great as always, but I wasn't really loving the outfit OR the arrangement of the song. I should know, as I dance around to that song frequently in my apartment courtesty of the Charlies' Angels Deux soundtrack.

Fro Patrol: This was the first time I really enjoyed him singing, b/c the song showed off the tone and range of his voice. But I desperately want to dress him in a DARK shirt and LIGHT jacket, and not the other way around as he apparently insists on each week. I also want to tell him (in my mother's best kitchen voice) to PUT THE MIKE STAND DOWN.

Singing Machine: First to break the afore-mentioned cardinal rule for the SECOND time, and the best thing I can say about the hairdo is it made him look 15 years older. Plus he forgot the words. But I bet he'll be back next week. He is this year's equivalent of the "She-Bangs" boy, but for the fact he made it past initial auditions.

Hayley: Did anyone else think she looked like Paula's twin sister tonight? Hair -- horrific. And just b/c it was an 80s song didn't mean she had to resurrect something her much older sister bought at Express in 1982. The Old Lady is back, and she's BORING.

Melinda: Excuse Diva 1 for being a bit snobby, but given the army of stylists, I don't think anyone should be wearing a top that is currently on exhibit in every Bebe store window on 3rd Avenue and in Las Vegas (seriously, the Divas were just there -- and its on every Bebe mannequin west of the Missouri river). Only real critique of another good performance? Lose the belt next time.

Blake: Does anyone BUT Diva 1 think he's really not as much as the judges think he is? The outfit was like a straight jacket (the pants were even peg-legged, an offense one Diva will recognize as wolf-acious) and he was boring as all get out. Plus I'm EXTREMELY TIRED of staring up his nostrils every week. Naturally, Paula loved it.

Jordin: Diva is reminded of that famous saying -- one giant step for Jordinkind (last week), two massive steps backward this week. It was like a school girl talent routine fresh out of Mean Girls -- outfit included. Also, I thought it was extremely pitchy. And most idol-escents get chastised for allowing the back-up singers to do the heavy lifting.

Chris: For Diva 1, this was the third best performance of the evening. Not nasally and, although it was a little tentative at the start, the second half was great. I think he has a better voice than Blake by 10 miles, and with his tone I want to hear him sing some Stevie Wonder. I do want to warn him though, Members Only called and they're looking for their jacket.

Final thoughts? Paula looked weirdly old tonight, I must throw out my silver eye shadow (if I had some) immediately. I hate Gwen Stefani for looking so great even without her over-the-top fabulous diva make-up of yore. And her white patent platforms were the bomb, dawg!

Diva 1

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, phil stacey, Paula Abduhl, haley scarnato, chris sligh

Sanjaya's Sister in Hooters Tshirt

2007-03-22T11:36:00.000-07:00

This is a special post for the 300 visitors we had yesterday searching for pictures of Sanjaya's sister in a hooters tshirt or just Sanjayas sisters hooters in general! As soon as we know anything about this we will post it.

Mystery of Crying Girl on American Idol Solved

2007-03-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

For anyone who saw Tuesday nights American Idol and the mystery girl in the audience crying her eyes out the duration of the show and wondered, "who is she?" or "is there something wrong with her?" we have the answer.

The crying girl on idol - as she'll now be known for all time - is named Ashley, age 13 from Riverside California. She and her mother appeared with Meredith Vierra this morning to talk about her flood gates of tears.

Apparently she is the "Uber Idol Fan". Half of her bedroom is decorated with Spongebob and the other half with American Idol.

Ashley professes to vote but not JUST for Sanjaya. She also votes for Melinda, Gina and Jordin. Ashley's dream is to go the the American Idol finale. Geez, this Divas thinking she's pretty much got that one in the bag.

Meanwhile, Keith Olbermann and Maria Milito speculate on msnbc that this girl was a "plant". She apparently had tickets to "Smarter than a 5th grader" and somehow ended up crying at the idol rehearsals where she began sobbing immediately and gee, out of nowhere, ends up in the front row of American Idol taping next to Simon Cowell. Real or Memorex? you decide.

However she got there, we at 17 Divas would just like to thank Ashley personally for making the rest of our Idol lives a living hell. It's tweens like her that have kept this loser on and tweens like her who will in all likelihood make Sanjaya the next American Idol.

-D4

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, crying idol girl

Starving for Sanjaya

2007-03-21T14:40:00.000-07:00

ok, now i've seen it all. these folks are so upset that Sanjaya made it thru on American Idol that they are staging a starvefest until he is voted off.

Starving for Sanjaya

Geez people, don't be giving up your favorite food or all food on behalf of some toxic contestant...seriously, that's dark and twisty. and for crying out loud, Cadbury mini eggs just landed at your local drugstore and this dude could be crooning for weeks to come.

Why oh why Sanjaya?

2007-03-21T12:02:00.000-07:00

well if you are as flabbergasted as Divas 1, 2, 3 and 4 as to why such a no talent could have pulled through to not only idols top 24, but idols top 12 and now idols top 11, we might have an answer.

speculation has been made that a website encouraging votes for the worst idol contestant combined Howard Stern's eliciting listeners of his talk show to vote for Sanjaya have led to this unfortunate outcome.

will these evil forces succeed another week? tune in tonite to find out.

here's another look at his latest and not-so-greatest performance, courtesy of youtube.com - and you havent lost your hearing - there isnt any sound.

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol

Melinda, Jordin and Blake My Idol Top 3

2007-03-20T19:18:00.001-07:00

First, a shout out to Paula Abduhl, who might be having the most tastefully dressed Idol season to date.

And, let the twists and turns continue with Paula's comment to the nervous idol hopefuls to just picture Simon naked - to which Simon retorted - 'ah is that what you do all day?" keeping it real for the folks. thanks guys. Sadly, as i may have eluded to in prior seasons that Simon can sometimes be alluring.... but i digress.

Two hours of Idol and here's how it rounded out for me tonite:

Haley - she's kicking up the sex factor in short shorts and a silk halter tank minus the pasties. she had far less armpit shots than usual which I am thankful for.

Blake - owned it and rocked it.

Sanjaya - brought me back to being at a drunkin college fraternity party and he was the guy who had one too many trying to show off. His oversized clothing and extra-broad jackets swim more on him the worse he dances. Go Home, PLEASE. Go home!

Jordin - was awesome. gave me goosebumps. how come sometimes i look at her and i see America Ferrara but prettier.

Lakisha - agreed with the judges - bring back Lakisha. but i still love her.

Phil - bores me.

Chris Sligh - ditto.

Melinda - awesome! paula had it dead-on - she tells a story with her singing and there's a beginning, a middle and an end.

if i didnt mention you, i forgot about you.

My top props for the nite go to Melinda and Jordin!

oh, and who was that Ashley girl crying for the entire show? at first, i, like simon, thought she was crying because Sanjaya and his hair were scaring the crap out of her.

Til Tomorrow, Diva 4 out the door,
:)

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Simon Cowell, paula abduhl,Melinda Doolittle,Jordin Sparks,fox, Blake, Sanjaya Malakar

Kiki-cking It DRoss Style

2007-03-13T20:34:00.000-07:00

Once again, Lakisha proves that she is (to quote a popular movie) pure "money." Girl's got a great voice and a beautiful personality that shines through. I don't know why, but I'm far more moved by her single mom sob story than I ever was by Fantasia. Perhaps because she is so humbled by her success.

And frankly, while Melinda was good as usual, I wasn't bowled over. If you're singing something from the Wiz, please make it something we all recognize! In fact, much like the judges, Diva 1 was not tremendously bowled over by anything.

Highlights, if you could call them that, are limited. First, there is Haley Scarnato, who -- for once -- left Whitney, Mariah, Faith Hill and her wedding singer style far far behind (even if the dress was still hideous, I don't understand how a 23 year old can instantly turn herself into 45 -- its almost worse than Pickler's Tammy Wynette transformation). And last there is Phil Stacey, who -- if you closed your eyes -- had by far the best vocal of the men. In what is rapidly turning into rhetorical question night, how can someone whose voice soars and who clearly has a passion for singing be (in the words of the immortal Hanny B) so DULLS-ville?

Without question, Sanjaya MUST GO. Diva 1 dare says, however, that Brandon, Fro-Man Chris Sligh and Stephanie (another victim of instant aging this evening) are flirting with danger and may, due to the whims of the voters, be ousted before the eviling Singing Machine (get it? Sanjaya Malakar, Singing Machine, Diva 1 is SO clever).

Finally, who knew Diana Ross could be so lucid?? Color Diva 1 pleasantly pleased.

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, american idol top 12

The real Idol Showdown begins

2007-03-13T19:26:00.001-07:00

The top 12. The big band. The big stage. The big audience. The real Idol Showdown begins!

... and I start this blog with the 17Divas mantra, "SANJAYA MUST GO!" - Abomindable singing and dancing - if you can even call it that! He is embarassing to watch, yet he clearly has lots of friends with cell phones.

Melinda Doolittle , singing my favorite song from "The Wiz" was my absolute favorite. I admit to crying alongside Paula during her incredible performance. Next best was Lakisha.

Simon remembered Haley's name and liked her performance despite her forgetting a lyric or twelve. Chris Richardson bopped all over the stage but for the first time didnt make me seasick. I think he's adorable. Most of the guys are a blur in this competition. Simon and Ryan exchanged in and out of the closet pleasantries assuring the rest of us that they clearly have a special thing for each other.

til next time,
Diva 4 outie.

Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,lakisha, sanjaya malakar, melinda doolittle, 17 Divas, Idol Top 12, Simon Cowell, ryan seacrest

Sanjaya Dodges Bullets ... AGAIN! Sabrina and Sundance get Robbed!

2007-03-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

With more lives than an alley cat and more luck than a Leprechaun in an irish pub, Sanjaya Malakar shockingly makes the American Idol Top 12 of Season 6 to the dropped jaws of Himself, Simon, Randy, Paula, Me, the other 3 Divas and anyone in the free world who is hearing-enabled. I screamed so loud I almost lost a tonsil.

I screamed nearly as loud when Ryan announced that the wedding singer made it into the covetted spots instead of Sabrina.

Sabrina and Sundance got robbed with a capital "R"!!!! And as much as I wanted the Tit-Flasher gone, I actually preferred her singing to Haley 'the wedding singer' Scarnato.

As for Jared Cotter - I predict a soap opera career in his future - is 'Passions' still on the air? he'll be getting a casting call soon.

and, i'm sorry but I cannot let this Sanjaya thing lie. He has zero charissma, zero stage presence, zero body (take off those x-L shirts and you'll find the body of a 12 yr old i'm thinking.) and zero talent! yet, H-E-L-L-O apparently america thinks he's top 12 material.

I missed Tuesday nite's men's show due to Divas Las Vegas and when they did the re-cap and I got a gander of Sanjaya's flat-ironed hair - HE truly DID turn into his Sister!!!! OMG! I can't bare to watch him any more, yet America thinks I need to.

- A disgusted D4 out

Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,idol results show, sanjaya malakar, antonella barba, 17 Divas, Idol Top 12,Sundance, Sabrina Sloan

Countdown to So-Long on Idol

2007-03-08T16:50:00.000-08:00

With 5 minutes to go until the idol results show, let us take a moment to meditate on Sanjaya and Antonella receiving their walking papers from Ryan Seacrest. If there is any Idol justice and if the spirits have aligned correctly then these to will be leaving us tonite taking along with them, the wedding singer - Haylie.

As for last nite's ladies show - melinda doolittle did alot! she worked W-O-M-A-N and then crawled back into her turtle shell - where Simon called her a tiger. Last year Simon labeled Picler a minx. This season Melinda is the tiger. It's like Simon' Cowell's British New Year.

Gina Glocksen is the Chris Daughtry of Season 6.

D4 off to watch results,

Does America Hate Nina Simone?

2007-03-02T08:36:00.000-08:00

What the hell happened this week? I'm still reeling.

Does Antonella really think she deserves to up there with the likes of Melinda Dolittle?? Even as the other women wept at the injustice and even Paula was outraged, she still looked smug. At least Sanjaya had the good sense to appear shocked- although I thought his reaction was a bit aped.

Poor AJ, his vocals last night were even better than before. I was never a big fan, but when Paula pulls the "this is a singing contest" line, you know things are bad.

To round out the evening's surreal tone, we had Kelli Pickler. I was in shock last night, but I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her. There's no doubt she was channeling Dolly Parton, but where Dolly's look is charming and fun, Kelli just came off as sad and pathetic. Dolly always jokes that her look is what she imagined, as a poor child, rich ladies look like. It is a sweet joke that makes me love her all the more. But on Kelli, she just looked like a child prostitute made old before her time.

Last night was an Idol travesty. But I can't turn away!!

Swollen Diva rolls out!

Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,dolly parton, kelli pickler, antonella barba, 17 Divas, Nina Simone

I DEMAND a Re-count!

2007-03-01T17:49:00.000-08:00

sorry i'm so pissed i cant wait till end of show to post -

are you Fu--kin kidding me Sanjaya is still IN?
AJ Can Sing and he's going home.
Paula was shocked! I'm shocked! even Sanjaya was Shocked!
worst thing is - we have to sit thru another week of Sanjaya singing.

2nd - The Pickler - i LOVe the pickler but HOly mother of god who dressed her????
she looks like Blanche from the "Golden Girls". for those of you too young to know what that is - she looked like an 88 yr old. an 88 yr old with the biggest perkiest hooters i've ever seen. Apparently Kelli Pickler is now channeling Dolly Parton from the neck down!

and speaking of hooters....well, frickin figures that if Sanjaya didnt get voted off that the attitudinal Antonella would have attracted enough scandalous attention on myspace to have secured herself another idol week.

i have nothing more to say. i'm bummed. the right people DID NOT go home.

D4

american idol, american-idol, antonella barba, sanjaya, idol elimination, kelli pickler

Antonella Barba Uncovered

2007-03-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

well, if you wondered what i was referencing in a previous post re the scandal surrounding american idol contestant, Antonella Barba, you can read about it here - Antonella Exposed

american idol

This is what Idol is about!!

2007-03-01T09:22:00.001-08:00

Is there any need to talk about anyone other than Melinda? I love this girl. LaKisha was my fave last week, but Melinda just blew her out of the water last night. My jaw was on the ground for her performance, it was as if her body had been possessed with the spirit of some late, great, totally well-seasoned diva of a performer. I mean, we all knew she had it in her, but WOWZA! Then the lights went down and shy little Melinda came back, looking anxious and worried, praying for good responses from the judges. I'll admit, I teared up. Maybe it is the hormones.

The way Simon treats her should dispell any wrong-headed notions that he is mean just for the sake of being mean. When he gives someone the smackdown it is for the greater good of humanity, and/or because the talentless little monster deserves it. With Melinda, Simon is like a mama bird, ever so gently blowing on her wings, encouraging her to take flight. He does this for her and for all of us- knowing that he has a delicate and rare talent in his hands. Paula can say all the same things, but we've heard it all before out of her. From Simon, it means something. He is just so darn sweet with her, it makes me forget about his rare stumbles in judging and his constant fashion faux pas.

And speaking of talentless little monsters deserving of a smackdown- someone please smack a clue into Antonella's pretty and empty head! As my other Divas and the judges have so rightly pointed out previously, contestants choose Whitney and Celine at their peril! Poor Antonella, even when she started singing last night, I was still thinking, poor girl, she's really just a novice, she seems nice enough, she's just out of her depth. But, then, oh, no, she di'unt just roll her eyes at the judges??? I hated when Fantasia did it, but at least she had the pipes to back it up. But slutty little Barbarella?? Ah, hell, no! Then the Jenifer Hudson comment?? WTF?? After that behavior, I think she's just a self-absorbed little bitch. And Simon was spot on- he's not the one who was wrong about Hudson, it was the American people who voted her off early. If she's not gone tonight, I'm hunting down the owners of "Vote for the Worst" and forcing them to listen to her sing over and over and over...

I can't even talk about those photos floating around of her. Ugh. Even if the oral sex ones aren't her, the rest are plenty nasty.

My runner up after Melinda was Stephanie. LaKisha was rock solid, but I think the Celine rule applies- you have to be even better than (or at least original in some way) the original artist if you're going to take on an icon. Yes, Diva 1, I agree that Sabrina was awfully pitchy. I like that she's smart about the competition, but I don't like her. I also found Jordin incredibly pitchy and all over the place, but I guess I'm alone in that one. I have no idea what Leslie and Haley are even doing there.

Haley and Antonella need to go tonight, I'm less sure about the guys...

Swollen Diva Out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, antonella barba, melinda doolittle

Midnight Train to Doolittle-ville

2007-02-28T22:55:00.000-08:00

I must agree with Diva 2 -- a surprisingly dull night by the Idol girls, with the mistakes and pitch problems outnumbering the vneck sweaters in Simon's closet by a mile. Indeed, the only thing not surprising about tonight is that -- once again -- Lakisha and Melinda came ready to play. They are secure in their song choices and original in their arrangements and a pure joy to watch.

For Diva 1, Gina Glocksen and Jordin were close seconds. I don't think Gina gets near enough credit for having an interesting voice and making fairly good song choices. And I love that Jordin is not nearly as annoying as Paris was last year, one almost forgets she's 17.

Sabrina would have made it in, but was Diva 1 the ONLY one who thought she was exceedingly pitchy? And that her top didn't fit properly in the chest area? Stephanie was almost there too, except for me it was too much like watching a young Mary J. Blige wear Joan Collins nightgown and karoake to a Beyonce tune. And I must be telling the truth, because its hard for Diva 1 to admit she was nearly very good when all the world knows that Diva 1 abhors the Beyonce.

As for the rest, Antonella must join Sanjaya in the "say buh-bye" circle. Tragic outfit, tragic song -- the poor girl who was sobbing in the elevator after discovering Barbarella made it through to the 24 over her must be sitting at home tearing her hair out. She is our Kellie Pickler of '07.

Same goes for Farrah Fawcett -- aka the disaster, I mean, dixie chick. Abysmal. Does anyone else wish she'd sing Styx's Come Fly Away in tribute to her hair??

And Leslie Hunt -- well she should hunt a little more in the closet for something that resembles a straight jacket so we don't have to watch her flail around.

I do feel for Haylie 'The Bodyguard' Scarnato. It must be so hard to break out of the wedding singer mode. I actually thought the singing wasn't so bad, but the performance was distracting. (Ironically, for me, since its late, The Bodyguard is on TBS!)

All in all, sign me...
Disappointed Diva 1

Technorati Tags: american-idol, american idol, american idol, idol, 17 Divas,
melinda doolittle, lakisha, antonella barba, leslie hunt

American Idol Girls Take 2

2007-02-28T20:39:00.000-08:00

The woman continue their dominance over the guys on american idol. Stephanie, Lakisha, Belinda, Sabrina and Jordin are tops in my book. What I dont like is this stupid dedication week theme. It's nice b/c you get to know a bit about them but playing such emotional footage right before they sing is just unfair. competition or not. I think the "home footage" should be saved for seperate segments and not a prelude to a performance.

Was I the only one screaming "NO WAY" when Ryan Seacrest announced that Antonella would be doing Celine? OMG, I howled. As Diva 2 said in prior post - have these 6th season contestants LEARNED NOTHING? from watching 5 years of this? Antonella was walking on thin ice coming into tonite's show, and that just sunk her to the bottom of the river! Not to mention, what's her name (don't know them all yet) doing the Dixie Chicks Grammy winning song, "not ready to make nice". Unless you can sing like Lakisha you should not be choosing grammy winning songs!

Next on my poo-poo list is wedding singer, Haley Scarnoto. The crimped hair was cheezy, the song choice was lame and the armpit shots were far too many! If she or Antonella are not gone next week I will be shocked. Even dog walker, Leslie, was better I thought.

ok, nuf said. Diva4 out the door

Technorati Tags: american-idol, american idol, antonella barba, leslie hunt

A night of yawns and chills (the icky chills, not the good Idol chills)

2007-02-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Long time no blog! But, what can I say, American Idol just brings out my urges to wax poetic and/or rant uncontrollably! Yes, divas, it is the swollen-with-child Diva!

What is up this season? These contestants have had five seasons to study and learn what works and what doesn't. And yet...here we are, watching the biggest yawn-fest yet. At the very least, does no one remember the sad fate of poor Bobby Bennett, who sang Copa for his dead grandma last season?? Learn from the mistakes of past Idols, oh young ones, (yes, Sanjaya, I'm talking to YOU), if your dead grandparent would love it, America probably won't.

Ok, ok, maybe I'm being harsh, I did get a few moments of joy last week watching the girls. But the boys??? Even this week, there's no other way to say it- they sucked. They were WORLDS better than last week, but overall, they still sucked.

My take on the evening:

I was most impressed with curly-haired Chris and the return of Sundance! Was I the only one so shallow as to be shocked beyond belief by Chris's hottie of a wife??? His performance wasn't one of those great "Idol Moments"- but after last week, it was enough.
And Sundance! I'm glad he was given a second and third chance to prove himself, because there's something special about this guy. Which is a helluva lot more than I can say about most of the other contestants. He also gets credit for not falling into the trap of picking a bad song to go along with the dedication theme.
Who else? Who else? This is how snooze-worthy these guys are, I have to struggle to recall who even sang! Beat Box Boy was solid again. I look forward to seeing what he's capable of. I don't really like beat boxing, but, I'll give him credit, his performances have been very good.
Also not a fan of A.J., but major props to him for really giving it his all last night and doing a great job. The judges gave him a raw deal, though. He totally kicked ass last night, and they didn't give him enough credit for it.

The yawns: I'm in total agreement with the judges and my earlier Diva on Nick. His voice has an incredible tone, but I'm tired of waiting for him to get himself together. He tried this last year, studied how to get back on, and for what?? Did he even THINK about what to do once he made the top 24?? Great song choice last night, but it fell flat, he lacked all passion- which is all that song is about. And when Simon is commenting on a man's clothes AND everyone agrees, you've got problems.
Jared. DH thinks he will stick around due to the Ace Young Factor (ie, he's hot), but I'm not so sure. Should I be worried that my husband has a stronger opinion than I do on which guys are hot??
More yawns for the boy bander with the Geek song. I was pretty in sync with the judges last night, but I didn't get the raves on this one.
And I can't believe it, but I have to admit, my early fave, Brandon, was a bit snooze-inducing last night, too. I hope he stays another week and finds himself. But I did enjoy Simon mocking him, he deserved it. Oh, and see the aforementioned dead-grandparent rule.

The chills: Phil "I'm liking you less and less" Stacy- 5 seconds in, I turned to DH and yawned, saying "karaoke- good karaoke, but still just karaoke." Not 2 minutes later, Simon said the same thing- great minds think alike. Nice voice, but boring, and I'm finding him oddly creepy.
And, of course, the biggest creep factor of all Idol time goes to Sanjaya. What the hell was that?? This took bad song choice to another level. Again, I was psychotically linked to a judge on this one- I told DH this performance was like some freaky high school talent show audition. But Simon was even more right, it was like some horrible embarrassing child-on-display thing. Just awful and scary. Is he, um, "special"??? Or do he and his sister share a brain, and it was her turn last night? Is she trying to sabotage him for making it this far??

I'm keeping my fingers crossed for tonight. But overall, I'm really shocked by the not-specialness of so many of the contestants. The girls had some stand-outs last week, but let's not forget we also had Amy, Haley, Nicole and Leslie all try to put us to sleep. Antonella sucked so much, but at least she was MEMORABLE!!

Ok, I'm going to go have some Indian food and hope it puts me in a more hopeful Idol mood!

Swollen Diva- OUT!

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, 17 Divas,
simon, sanjaya, sundance, idol guys, american-idol

Idol Men Round 2

2007-02-28T14:10:00.000-08:00

alright, so the guys were a bit better than when they performed for the first time, ironically enough, on National Pancake day - flat all around!

for me, my four fave guys are cotter, richardson, stacey and beat-boxer. sundance is good too, but for me,dawg, he started singing this week and I got up to stir my boiling pasta. Chris Richardson just plain entertains me. If I can only get past the motion sickness I feel everytime he sings I think it'll be ok. he's just too cute. it's like if he was on a the late show they'd show what a baby would look like if JT and Eminem were to reproduce -- i think , ya got yourself a Chris Richardson.

Sanjaya - I think the entire DIVA camp is at the same fireside on this one - HOW did he make the top 4 guys last week? WHAT was that performance he gave this week? Are we CERTAIN his sister WASN't the better singer? AND, was he CHANNELing his sister in that song this week? IF he Doesn't get cut all Divas might stage a protest!

On an aside, I keep having flashes of Jared Cotter and Phil STacey in a men's swimsuit calendar. A premonition? perhaps.

DIVA 4 out. oh, but before I do, what's with the potential scandal shots of Antonella?

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, reality tv,
simon, sanjaya, idol season 6, idol guys, american idol, american-idol

(Sun) Dancin' with the Geek in the Pink

2007-02-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

Oh my! Diva 1, home from another long day at the office, was pleased to find that a few of the boys tonight threw down strong tracks to try and make you forget that it was all about the women last week.

Chris Richardson did his Big Mama proud, and our Beat Boxin' Boy Bander proved that -- regardless of the rest of the noise that comes out of his mouth, the boy can sing. And Sundance Head closed it out with a great vocal of a fun song that sounded original and proved he can sing without turning red (come on, I KNOW you all expected him to sing Elton John's Levi after he cried over the kid so Mustang Sally was a fresh choice!).

Diva 1 has to agree that the judges, for the most part, got it right with respect to the other hopefuls: (1) Phil 'Navy' Stacey: great voice, but he needs to learn how to bring it right out of the box, and pick slightly better songs. And wear the hat. (2) Jared Cotter: again, great voice, and better song choice, but I'll take Simon one further -- it was like watching Gopher sing in the Love Boat Lounge. And seemed to be one step away from moving into non-PG territory. Sharp suit though! (3) Nick 'Vote for' Pedro: Diva 1 LOVED the song choice, and loved the sultry vocals. But I'm not sure he broke a sweat, let alone was impassioned and aflame with Fever. He needs to crack open the cookie to find the fortune beneath.

As for the rest: (1) Chris 'Funny Guy' Sligh: better song choice, but I didn't think the vocal was that stunning. (2) Brandon Whats'-his-name. That song was SO forgettable, I seriously can't remember his name. Frustrating, b/c Diva 1 senses there might be some talent underneath. Its a toss-up whether he or AJ secures one of the ousted spots.

Last, and definitely the very least, Sanjaya. Weird weird weird. I'm not sure he was even singing. I'm not sure he's not actually the sister. I still can't believe he was one of the top 4 vote getters. He must go, and he must go now! If he doesn't, Diva 1 may be hanging up her DVR... At least on Tuesdays...

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, tv,
simon, simon cowell, idol season 6, idol guys, american-idol, american idol

To The Pain ...

2007-02-20T19:03:00.000-08:00

Who doesn't remember the infamous battle cry of Wesley, aka the Dread Pirate Roberts, in The Princess Bride? To the pain means to completely disfigure your enemy BUT FOR their perfect ears so they can hear the hideous cries that surround them. And this is precisely how I feel after watching tonight's mind-numbing 2 hour debut of the gentleman idols.

I may be getting older (and wiser, and more beautiful) but I can't remember a more boring evening of song. It was like a VH1 80s retrospective, only without the funny celebrity cameos and bubble quotes that make those shows watchable. While Idol usually benefits from older contestants, who make seasoned song choices that suit their voices and temperaments, I am now in favor of invoking "theme week" that much earlier. Michael Jackson? Luther Vandross? Stevie Wonder? There were so many BAD song choices that the women could all sing nursery rhymes and still look more "hip" and "with it" than the boys did. (Bonus points to whomever noted the fact that the Dawg's mis-reference to Edwin McCain ended up being, in fact, the last song of the night.)

Diva 1's rundown for "best" of the pack? Beatboxing boy-bander Blake Lewis. Great song AND he can sing. Although I recommend he lose the Anthony Michael Hall wardrobe. Second place tie to Nick ("Vote for") Pedro and Phil Stacey. Love the tone of Nick's voice and at least his song choice played to it. I snoozed through the first 30 seconds of Phil and the 10 pans to his wife, but was wowed when he started belting. But he needs to keep the hat to balance the eyebrows. Rounding out the top for Diva 1? AJ Tabaldo, Sundance, and seconds 50-110 of Jared Cotter.

Who's going? I think Sanjaya and Rudy are out this week.

As for the rest, is Diva 1 the only one who thinks Paul Kim looks like he's 35 and that JT-2 looks EXACTLY like his dad???

Until tomorrow, sign me Diva 1 (aka Simon Jr.)

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, tv,
simon, simon cowell, idol guys night, phil stacey, blake lewis, american-idol

Other Door, The American Idol Mantra

2007-02-07T15:55:00.000-08:00

okay, so American Idols new season has kicked off to a painful few weeks of wrong notes, wrong keys, wrong pitch and just plain wrong EVERYTHING!

This seasons Idol is even featuring a wrong door!

Last nights' show featured a 5 minute montage of contestants trying to escape the audition room through the wrong door. and what we mean by wrong - is - it simply doesnt open, it's locked and you have to push the door next to the wrong door to get out.

The fact that this mishap happened so often they made a montage from it leads me, and anyone with a brain, to ask a basic question...for a show that employs college grads (i'm thinkin), and likely has plenty of low-life interns around (i can say that cause i used to be a tv intern) didn't anyone think to make a sign to eliminate this repeated scenario a couple gazillion times? All that would be required is paper, pen, tape to put a sign on the wrong door so people would use the right door.

Honestly i would have handed a promotion for the genius who could have spared me the montage and the wasted energy of Simon, Paula and Randy constantly having to recite, "other door."

Hey, maybe "other door" will win this season of idol....it's gotta have a better voice than the bulk of what we've heard so far!

D4

Technorati Tags: american-idol, american idol, idol, other door,
simon randy and paula, tv, fox

Donald vs Rosie - Can't we all Just Get Along!

2007-01-09T22:39:00.000-08:00

oy vay, enough already. Can someone please send the bully to the principal's office already!

Donald has joined the ranks of Tom where this diva's concerned. For different reasons, but the common of which, is being an ass! Mean name-calling, adolescent personal attacks and "nah nah nah nah nah" threats are unbecoming of adults, adults with comb-overs and adults who preface every sentence about themselves with "best, biggest, most."

For anyone in Rosie's camp on this celebriwar, we found these:

Technorati Tags: rosie and donald, rosie, current events

White & Nerdy

2006-12-26T16:34:00.000-08:00


"Weird Al" Yankovic's music video from his new album "Straight Outta Lynwood" (in stores Sept. 26)

Yankovic has outdone himself. High-larious!!! He's just so f-ing white and nerdy!!
Grab some White and Nerdy T-shirts and Gear while you're at it.

Technorati Tags: white and nerdy

Dick In A Box - Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake Digital Short SNL Uncensored

2006-12-24T19:55:00.000-08:00


Dick In A Box - Andy Samberg and Justin Timberlake Digital Short SNL Uncensored

Somebody peel us 4 divas off the f-ing floor! Too funny!!! What a great performance. I guess we all
know what Cameron is getting this holiday season.

Technorati Tags: dick in a box, justin, snl

Justin Timberlake's New HIt - Cock in a Box

2006-12-16T20:51:00.000-08:00

well, Justin Timberlake is successfully pulling SNL out of its ashes from the recent departure of Tina Fey and its lack luster weeks, and is making tonite's SNL not only funny, but very musical. In fact he just debuted his new song with Andy Samberg, Cock in a Box - (hint , if you havent' gotten her a gift yet.).

Here's how you do it:
Step 1 - cut a hole in the box.
Step 2 - shove your junk in it.
Step 3 - make her open the box.

In addition to "Cock in a Box", Justin did a hilarious rap gig dressed in white thermal underwear dressed as a cup-o-soup cup and then he provided me a blast from my past (maybe not yours) with a dead-on rendition of the Gibb Bros with Jimmy Fallon.

This diva's thinkin Cameron is going to get some "replay" mileage out of these performances when he returns home.

This Diva rates Justin hosting SNL on my top 2 list with Scarlett Johannson ("Ya Gotta get a SSShandiiliiier") .

Technorati Tags: snl, cock in a box, justin timberlake

Manatee Mania!

2006-12-15T21:55:00.000-08:00

So apparently not too many days back Conan O'Brien mentioned a then fictitious website, http://www.hornymanatee.com , on-air and if we are to believe what he has just explained on tonight's show - if he mentions a website on-air that does not in fact exist NBC is obligated to buy it. (heck, if they didnt buy it i'm certain myself and a couple thousand other websters would have!) Now i'm not a lawyer so I'm not sure if he's yanking my chain here or not. (ya never do know with the CO-Nan!) But they do own the site and since they owned it, hey might as well build it - cause they're coming anyway!

This site has supposedly gotten like a billion hits in 10 days. They're also selling t-shirts, and donating proceeds to save the manatees, so it's all good. You can submit Manatee photos and horny manatee stories, so take a surf on over and pay the Manatee some props!

-Diva 4 up way too late again.

Technorati Tags: conan o'brien, manatee, horny manatee, conan, tv

Biggest Loser Finale - TV That Tastes Good!

2006-12-13T22:46:00.000-08:00

Another season finale of the Biggest Loser aired tonite, and OMG - these people just keep losing more weight.

HOLY SHIT BATMAN, several contestants - men and women - dropped over 100 lbs - yes, 100 lbs. And the winner - SPOILER COMING - lost an astounding 214 lbs, most of us couldnt gain that amount of weight in a lifetime of eating ding dongs and this guy lost it in mere months. Erik arrived at the infamous ranch weighing 407 pounds. A New Yorker who works in a deli with fattening food around him 24-7 was literally unrecognizable - Kai, who topped out at the most weight to date lost by a woman on TBL looked remarkable and Wylie - again, my jaw dropped and it's still on the floor - looked like a god!

No one was happier to see Erik win then lovable Bob, the trainer - who was left with Eric as his only team member to make it to the finals, and his ass was on da line. Go BOB!!

I thought I'd seen it all last season with the now engaged Matt and Suzy in the finals transforming themselves into movie stars, but the biggest loser just keeps bringing it again and again and again!

You won't get a snarky comment out of me (shocker, I know!) where this show is concerned. To me, this is TV at it's finest. Saving lives, inspiring lives, changing lives! I Love this show!!! Three snaps up and a circle i think I hear the treadmill calling.

D4 OTD

The Biggest Loser Diet
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show's medical & nutrition experts.

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Technorati Tags: biggest loser, tv, biggest loser finale, erik biggest loser

Mission Operation Extraction of Diva3 (Alias Couchspylauncher)

2006-12-12T17:51:00.000-08:00

Just when I thought my period of unemployment would start to become more productive, making better use of my days to network, explore new interests, take some classes, get out of bed b/4 noon, take charge of my life,--- the ALIAS Complete Collection DVD Boxset arrived at my home. Opening up the box (which in itself looks like a Rambaldi artifact), has unleashed the fury of a pandoras box. Little did I know, my need for sleep, food, contact with other life forms would dramatically diminish.

Calling all Divas for extraction immediately. Diva 1, you will prepare the optech for the mission (as you are the only one with keys to my apartment--please be careful of the wreath). Diva 2, assemble a team of 20 agents. Intel indicates the c4 cable remote control has an automatic feature wired to fuse plastic to human flesh if held too long. We have 24 hours. I cannot stress the importance of freeing Diva 3 literally from the grips of disaster. Let's MOVE!!!

P.s. Michael Vaughn, Will Tippen and Spy Daddy need to be on standby for possible ressusitation of the subject should potential shock and withdrawal ensue.

Technorati Tags: alias, alias dvds, tv, jennifer garner, michael vaughn, gifts

Adam and Eve and The Apple Store

2006-12-11T22:58:00.000-08:00

Well, Cosmo Magazine released it's latest findings on the hot new places to meet men and concurs with what this Diva has been saying all along - Take thee to an Apple store!!

Let's recall how it all began, way back at the beginning - Adam and Eve met over a forbidden fruit - popularly identified as an apple (hmmm, coincedence? perhaps.) or maybe not.

Let's just say this - next time you have some time to kill, or you happen to be in the mall playing with make-up at Sephora and buying Jimmy Choo's at Nordstroms, strut your stuff over to a Mac store and just see what the buzz is about - not only is the store filled with tech-driven, mac-hungry, iPod-loving hotties, but you've also got the guys who work there and the genius's manning the Genius bar.

If the Apple Store starts serving cocktails and food I just might have to move in permanently!

Word on the street has it that one of the busiest times for the Apple store on 5th avenue is like 2 in the morning. A Mac attack without the calories - what more do you want out of life?

-D4otd

Technorati Tags: apple, where to meet men, ipod, apple store, mac

What Not to Wear - Cameron, HELLO, This Calls 4 You!

2006-12-11T22:45:00.000-08:00

I hate to call out one of my faves, but Cameron Diaz needs to stop shopping in the petit juniors department. Last week she appeared on ELLEN in the shortest of short "dresses" or shirts - depending on where you shop, so much so that Ellen threw a napkin over her thigh closest to the audience to cover her up. Tonight, she marches onto Conan O'Brien wearing an all white smock-like "dress"/ shirt/ beach cover-up that had her severely close to some basic instinct moves.

Now girl, noone is arguing that you dont have like the best legs in the business, but these things you've been wearing are not dresses - they're barely shirts. Grab Justin and surf on over to Melrose and buy a dress that fits properly! If you need help, I'm certain Stacy and Clinton would lend you a hand.

-D4

Technorati Tags: cameron, fashion don'ts

The 12 Greys of Christmas

2006-12-08T20:44:00.000-08:00

This holiday season I'd like to celebrate the twelve greys of christmas because I love Grey's Anatomy and well, who doesnt?! Forget McSanta and bring on McSteamy - we'll be naughty or nice or little of both whatever gets us into Seattle Grace on a stretcher and examined by one of the hot doctors on duty - SERIOUSLY!

Make your Christmas Dreamy and STeamy with my picks for The 12 Grey's of Christmas:

1. Pick Me, Choose Me, Love Me - it doesnt get more pathetic than this for Meredith Grey!

2.Meredith is all dark and twisty, are you?

3. It's not too many a co-worker than can say to another, stop looking at my va-jay-jay!

4. Does George do it for you like he does for Calli? If O'malley is your McDreamy than this is your McMagnet!

5. If you're on Team McSteamy than here's a Thong for Your Va-Jay-Jay!

6. Team McDreamy T-shirts for anyone who LOOOVES Dr. McDreamy, aka Derek Shepherd.

7. If you're not just dark and twisty, but SERIOUSLY dark and Twisty than this santa gift is seriously for you.

8. Slap some greys anatomy bumper sticker on your wheels and drive!

9. Fake like you're a surgeon at Seattle Grace hospital with this Property of Seattle Grace Surgery Team Tshirts.

10. Look at all the McHotties all year long with the Grey's Anatomy Wall Calendar ----- Did somebody call a DOCTOR????

11. Season 2 of Greys - watch it and drool.

12. Drumroll, please, I might be the last one to have realized that Grey's Anatomy was smartly titled after a leading medical book of the human body while in the waiting room of my internist between reading People Magazines I glanced at the bookshelf to see the binding on this book and the lightbulb went off in this Diva's head - OOOh, that's how they got the name!

So - there you have it - the 12 days of Christmas Seattle Grace style!

Wishing you all a McDreamy Christmas and a Merry McSteamy New Year!

- D4

Technorati Tags: grey's anatomy, meredith,mcdreamy, mcsteamy,the twelve days of christmas,dark and twisty,seattle grace,christmas, shopping

Sadie or Jen: Who will be a Princess-to-Be?

2006-11-27T19:18:00.000-08:00

Sadie, Jen, Sadie, Jen. In the bachelor's season finale, with at least 3 more commercials to go, my prediction is that Sadie will walk away with a ring. Even though 85% of kicked off bachelorettes from last week's The Bachelor Women Tell All said they thought Jen would be last gal standing.

I wish i had begun counting how many times the word "prince" was used in just this episode. I'm sure there are plenty of drinking parties goiong on all over where you drink when someone says the word 'prince' or 'princess'. Lorenzo isnt even a REAL prince...It's Like how people get appointed into knighthood, or robinhood or in-da-hood. Lorenzo doesnt have a castle, a crown (that i know of) or a country to reign over.

Now, a word from Diva 3 -

"Lord help me I am sitting here watching this ridiculous show. There is so much bullshit, I cannot take it, yet I refuse, with all the lameness I can muster, to turn away. Lorenzo seems nice enough, but if all he's been blathering on about for the past hour and a half is true, he should purchase some balls and strap on a ....be a man for crying out loud!"

Diva 4 back
and now the "girls" - noone ever calls them women (HELLO, they're not 12!) - are in the dresses pulling up to the caslte. let's see. Lorenzo has spent this entire show saying he's equally attreacted to both, he could see marrying them both, and one minute it's Sadie and one minute it's Jen. This is particularly gonna suck for whoever isnt picked, because if they had just waited 5 minutes, Lorenzo would possibly have changed his mind again. (and again. and again.)

one more commercial ------- I can barely stand the suspense.

SHIT... here we go. the moment is here. the final rose sits on the podium. car pulls up and ..............Shit. I'm wrong. Sadie's the first one out of the limo.. which means she's the Loser. Ahhhh shit. i'm gonna cry for her.

ok, lorenzo is acting weird now. he lets Sadie down saying "the truth is that there's another women and at this point I'd rather be with her". THAT's HARSH!!. NOT Nice!!. BAd, Lorenzo, Bad!!! and , i have watched almost EVERY one of these proposals to date and that was by far and away the BLUNTEST, most unemotional ' You're not the One' speech I ever heard. I do not like him any more. He says, "there's another woman and at this point I'd rather be with her.", then just stands there like an idiot. BAD. BAD. Major point loss Lorenzo.
Sadie rocks and I hope she is the next bachelorette!

Let's see if Lorenzo's nearly as direct with Jen. okay. he did a better job with jen. he didnt propose, but gave her the ring as a promise to propose. and another bachelor ends.

out and over it.

Technorati Tags: the bachelor, lorenzo, sadie, jen and sadie

A note to producers

2006-11-17T22:41:00.000-08:00

Dear Deja Vu Producers,

You have made it clear to me that you REALLY want me to see your new movie, Deja Vu. I know this because you run the ads every 50 seconds. But here's the thing - I'm pretty certain I've already seen it.

Technorati Tags: deja vu, movies, denzel washington

Do You Tom Take Katie...

2006-11-17T22:21:00.000-08:00

Well, it's officially November 18th - Tom and Katie's Wedding day!

The most talked about couple of the year is finally tying the knot. Rome, Italy is the setting for this star-studded celebrity wedding. My invitation must have gotten lost in the mail, but friggin Brooke shields is going! Just months ago her and Tom were battling it out, but clearly Brooke's power of forgiveness is stronger than mine and in the same way woman who have babies forget how painful it is, it seems mother nature has done the same for Brooke's memory of Tom's rant and down-with-drugs campaign earlier this year. But hey, forgive and forget, and let'm eat cake. Wedding cake that is. Do scientologists have wedding cake?

And speaking of scientolgoy, there will be no screaming before, during or after the wedding vows; Tom and Katie will not be allowed anti-anxiety drugs to calm their nerves; and noone will be able to speak to Tom and Katie for a month after they're married.

ok, so i have no idea what a scientology wedding is, but i'm pretty certain i dont' want one of my own!!

Technorati Tags: tomkat wedding, tomkat, celebrity weddings

Awwww

2006-11-07T13:54:00.000-08:00

First Ryan and Reese. Now Britney and K-Fed.

where is the love, people? is there really no santa claus?

Betty Ooops!

2006-11-02T22:36:00.000-08:00

Here's the thing. I want to like Ugly Betty but I just don't.

Not sure if it's that she's just not ugly enough or that i feel like I'm watching a poor man's version of "The Devil Wears Prada" mixed with some dumb mystery novel from the 1980's baked in an oven at 450 degrees for an hour and I'm like too many cooks in this kitchen!

Supposedly a big hit all over the globe, Ugly Betty finally made it's way to the U.S. I know I might be the only one who doesnt like it, as I am among a group of few who doesnt quite get the Desperate Housewives phenom either. (that damn woman's voice-over narrative drives me mad!)

Technorati Tags: ugly betty, tv, television, devil wears prada

Whose the Biggest Loser?

2006-11-01T22:31:00.000-08:00

I do not need to wait for the season finale to know who the Biggest Loser is. It's ME!!!! and likely its you too!

Week after week I watch the Biggest loser admiring these extremely overweight ordinary folks with seemingly impossible odds pushing their limits to lose mega chunks of weight...like an entire person worth of weight! As I, who could stand to lose a measely 10 lbs, sits watching with inevitably some fattening caloric dessert or dinner in front of me and oh, and it's a commercial, time for seconds!!!

Corny, I know, but I get goosebumps hearing the theme song, "what have you done today to make you feel proud...." hmm, let's see, tonight i polished off all the leftover halloween candy while watching the biggest loser, oh wait, i'm not proud of that.

where's bob when ya need him!?*

- D Loser

For anyone looking for the Biggest Loser Theme song, it's on the The Biggest Loser Soundtrack CD

Technorati Tags: biggest loser, reality tv, The Biggest Loser

A Prince of a Decision

2006-10-30T18:39:00.000-08:00

Oh jeez, this season's Bachelor (and i swore i wouldnt watch it again) just had his hometown dates. The bachelor, Lorenzo - an italian "prince" from Morristown, NJ. (anyone else laughing?) is actually one of the most likeable bachelors i've seen. Aside from that his grandmother is a make-up emporess, he himself has developed a line of bath and body products for dogs - and any guy that likes dogs enough to pamper them in ginseng and lavendar gets an A in my book.

But here's the thing. he's selected 4 woman who's parents to meet. And for those not paying attention, this is what he's left with:

1. Sadie - super sweet, but not too cavity provoking, likable, a virgin, nice family, all sounds good - but she lost me at "God".

2. Lisa - a Freak! plain and simple - she has wedding and bride magazines on her coffee table, an agenda since the age of 2 to be married by the age of 26, and a best friend with bad timing and a perfectly fitting wedding dress in the closet. Any questions?

3. Jen - sweet, nice, cute, only child and a father more intimidating than Jack Nicholson with a cavalry of shotguns in the den for anyone who mistreats his little Princess.

4. Angnese - italian born, speaks barely any english, not sure why she's made it this far and on the home town date the family visit was, shall we say, on the quiet side....until the music came on then this family got their freak on, dancing around the kitchen with masks . Nothiing like some good italian wine to get your groove on!

in the end, the italian gets the boot! a surprise to moi - as my money was on Lisa hitting the highway. my guess is, she'll crash and burn next week!

on another topic - who made Erica a star? oh, wait, that would be ABC and the bachelor producers who have turned Tiara-wearing (and selling - oh it helps to be on tv to sell products!), not-chosen, Erica from Houston, who actually flew Coach (can you BELIEVE???) for the First time in her life just to meet Lorenzo - what a giver, eh?!!! My diamond studded tiarra is off to her - she went on that show to upstage all the girls and ended up seemingly replacing the host, what was his name... oh yeah, Chris something! She's been on every talk show that'll have her and my guess is ------ oh, and it's a stretch (NOT!) that you're lookin at the next Bachelorette!

-D4 out the door!

Technorati Tags: the bachelor, tv, Lorenzo, tiara, the bachelor rome, reality tv, Erica

Dilana Rocks!!!

2006-09-12T19:13:00.000-07:00

Rockstar Supernova begins and ends with DILANA! She f--ckin brought it big time tonite and if Supernova doesnt pick her they are S-T-U-P-I-D!

Supernova, VMA's, Suri and More

2006-09-07T10:28:00.000-07:00

okay, so it's been a big week in TV Land. The week began with the VMA's - hosted by Jack Black in a superhero costume, but no superhero tricks could save this borefest. Despite Fergie's bridge coming down and down and down and down there wasnt much memorable other than the adorable Abigail Breslin - a highpoint, and annoying want-to-be comic Sara Silverman who I first thought was an audience contest winner allowed to talk ad-naseum on camera about nothing until someone told me she was actually a comic - guess what? NOT FUNNY! - and the award for lowpoint of the night goes to her "heart-to-heart with Paris Hilton telling her she's too fat. This was in poor taste and incredibly irresponsible given the epedemic of anorexia sweeping this country that . Noone was laughing and to this would be nobody they allotted more camera time than for any actual singers.

next, Suri Cruise....am I the only one who thinks she looks like an adopted asian girl ? 'nuf said!

For anyone watching Rockstar Supernova - or American Idol on Crack, as I like to refer to it - we have witnessed some bad and bad ass performances in Supernova's quest to find their new lead singer. Dilana has been the clear leader in my book since day 1, but her popularity suffered a decline after house scandal and bad-mouthing on her part so she's been back pedalling ever since to redeem her status. Storm Large (can we see the birth certificate on this one please!) has proved that not only can she sing, but that her cooter is a soft breeze away from exposing itself on every episode. last night's "pants" - and i use the term lightly - were unattractively loose, low and well, LOW!!! But hey, that's called "strategy" in reality tv land. and everyone on the guys in SuperNova and most obviously, Dave Navaro, sit drooling week-after-week at the thought of getting into her pants (not too hard as per aformentioned wardrobe almost-mal-function.). Not sure if they stand a chance though, as She and Dilana seem hmmm, how should i put this,,,,,,super close. (see your tivo for the dilana leg wraparound storm and several other not so subtle-ties.) and now that Storm has been kicked off Supernova, i think Storm should do Porn.

Suri or not Suri? That is the Question! yeah, um , i forgot to mention, most hair I've ever seen on a toddler - can someone say "hair extensions?

Last but not Least, Project Runway has proved a must-see this summer. Heidi Klum's got her tough guy game on and all the judges have collectively ganged up on sweet, nice Kayne who can seem to do no right, but somehow manages to stay alive in the competition. Thank god Vincent went home last night!! If i had to listen to him say one more time how "buttons turn me on", "this fabric gets me off", "this sleeve gets me off, " "this doorknob gets me off".... go jack YOURSELF off and shut the F**K Up.

Meanwhile, sadly Jeffery who has to be the meanest spirited human being on earth has won again this week and i can only say to him if he wins this competition - you're an a-hole and i wouldnt buy your clothes because you're a meanie and school bully and you should be sent to the principal's office!!

Diva 4 out!

I Spy an Idol...

2006-07-20T15:02:00.000-07:00

Brought to you a la the "scene and heard" postings of yore, Diva 1 spotted TWO idol alums this week as she was baking on the streets of NYC...

Monday's Yankees v. Mariners game brought out more than just NYC's sunburned citizens who love to boo A-rod (who, coincidentally had at least 3 errors that night) it also brought out a-hick, or to be precise Taylor Hicks, season five's cuddly and quirky winner we all love to love, or love to hate, depending on which side of the "I'm using People magazine to reconnect with a girl I saw in first class on an airplane one day after I became 15 minutes of famous" debate. Naturally, Hicks had first class seats at Yankee Stadium but alas no blondie in sight.

Tuesday was idol agers day, drawing a rare appearance of Constantine Maroulis. Ok, less of an appearance, and more of a spotting, as he passed Diva 1 and her dad while they were walking up Fifth Avenue. Put the rumors to rest, CM is TALL and (as expected) scruffy and dirty looking in real life. Natch, he was wearing all black on a day when the heat index was 110 and pushing it, and glued to a cell phone. Yet, he looked very rockerish and with the serial killer stare hidden behind some cool shades I almost missed him (as did others, I was surprised to see how few people recognized him). We can only hope he was loping away from NBC and his oft-announced, little-discussed tv deal...

Diva in the cit-ay, out!

ps - If you are not watching season 3 of Project Runway (or runaway, as I sometimes call it) you should be! The "talent" is delish and the guest judges surprising so far. And Kayne, who makes his living designing pageant dresses with a drawl, is mesmerizing (and not in a Santino way)...

A Little Respect...Please!

2006-05-25T21:04:00.001-07:00

If you live in manhattan and were woken up to fighter jets and military aircrafts shooting past only feet above the rooftops this morning, you either thought it was cool or you were crapping in your pants. I, Diva 4, am in "crap" camp. I am continually offended by the insensitivity and lapse in good judgement that people seem to have regarding city event planning and the lasting impact of 9/11. Several times a year ground-pounding fireworks displays are shot off in the park in what sounds like fifteen minutes of bomb blasting. Unless you're actually at the event, you're hanging out your window and wondering what you should grab to run.

This week in New York it's Fleet Week. For most of us, it means lots of cute sailors in uniform roaming the streets. But noone sent out the memo about a f--king morning long air show of rip-roaring jets in fly-bys barely clearing the building tops. If you want to have an air show - take it to the river, take it to Nebraska, take it far and away from over new york city!!!!!!!

A little respect, PLEASE!

- angered diva 4 out.

Daughtry Bites the McDust!

2006-05-11T08:44:00.000-07:00

Show stoppers and shockers usually reserved for television season finales was pre-Mcjaculated on last nights American Idol result show where much predicted Idol Winner, Chris McHottie Daughtry, was eliminated from the competition!

In Ryan Seacrest's least dragged out, least taunting and quickest bomb dropper delivery to date, "chris you leave american idol tonight", with what seemed like it came out of left field, the comment that shocked a nation, the judges and other potential home-goer Katharine McPhee, pretty much left Daughtry speechless!

At that moment, I felt the final stretch anticipation of the American Idol showdown come to a screeching halt!

Silent shock followed by "who cares" any more! Idol ended last night for me, and I'm guessing a lot of folks.

With Elliot, Taylor and McPheever left as the final contenders for this years crowning title of American Idol, Idol has taken a royal turn.

Elliot can sing, but has no presence. Taylor has presence but not a platinum recording voice. I know katharine has pitch problems and she's no Carrie Underwood, but this Diva thinks she does have a certain star quality and with proper coaching and tweaking could probably work it out with a certain amount of success in the end.

Chris Daughtry was given a "gift" last night, although it likely doesnt seem it to him at the moment. But like the greatness that went before him, Bo Bice, who said he was relieved when he heard them announce Carrie as the winner last season so he could continue to be the musician he was and record the kind of music and albums he wanted. Chris will have a HUGE career and a year from now we'll all know his name but likely not be able to recall who wins this seasons' idol.

- Disappointed Diva 4 Down & Out

Boxed Into a Corner, with a Brief Farewell

2006-05-11T07:00:00.000-07:00

No one could have predicted last night's AI, as Rocker Daughtry (or TMI Married Guy, as we've dubbed him post-Tuesday's revelation) bid farewell to Idolatry. Daughtry was clearly not expecting to go home -- see exhibit a, as neither his wife nor children were in the audience last night. Ford clearly thought Kat was going home -- as this week's commercial unceremoniously dumped McPheever in the car, giving her only 10 seconds of glory, no skimpy costume, no singing and instructions to try to believe that Kermit was actually talking to her. And while no one trusts Paula's bland, electroshock therapy induced "see you in the finals" prediction, even Simon was on the Today show yesterday trumping Daughtry and Taylor Hicks as the two finalists this year.

Notably, McPheever looked properly stunned when Ryan quickly dumped on us the news that Chris was going home (perhaps the first real emotions we've seen from her this season, since we didn't get to see the party she threw when she joyfully celebrated the loss of "what's a insert choice of word here" Pickler as a roomie). However, the knowledge that Daughtry will get a recording deal quickly doesn't mitigate how quickly Seacrest dropped the bomb last night -- was anyone else as susprised by his merciless lack of suspense? A little less conversation indeed.

While I am overjoyed that Elliot is still in the game, Diva 1 is going on the record as very disappointed if this ultimately sets up a McPheever win. I'm so traumatized at the thought, I can't think of anything clever to close. A nod to Diva 3, who is probably in mourning as we speak...

Diva 1, headed for Graceland.

Taking the E Train Once More...

2006-05-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

201 was rocking last night as the E train went roaring by... Elliott is the man! Is it coincidence that our favorite E thrived on Elvis night? I think not. He took 2 seriously overlooked Elvis songs and, to quote Paula, "made them completely his own." She was even crying again. I almost cried. (Ok, not really). Seriously, Diva 1 is bEfuddled, bEmused and bEwildered at how everyone keeps counting this guy down and out.

See, for instance, Simon Cowell on the Today show today predicting that Chris Daughtry and the much-maligned Taylor Hicks would make the finals. Has Simon's penchant for tight t-shirts finally limited the amount of oxygen reaching his brain? He walks a fine line every week of telling Taylor on screen that he should try out for the Broadway show based on Adam Sandler's movie about the wedding singer. (In truth, I'd rather hear Taylor on the radio belting out "Love Is What I Do" than the cheeseball currently headlining the show... Or perhaps see him starring in "To Pickle, Love Crazy Uncle Taylor.") And while "In the Ghetto" was a completely inspired song choice last night, the entire spirit of Idol is based on being able to put together TWO great numbers. Even Elvis was a dual show-stopper (think skinny dancing Elvis, and fat, sweaty scarf throwing Elvis). While Idol is anything but fair, I do think one number and an apparent soul patrol of millions should not be enough to keep Taylor in the game.

Not to mention self-styled briefs man Daughtry (ugh, TMI married guy). He did two completely boring versions of Elvis numbers, with the first being only slightly better. What is it saying when weird little Jon whats-his-name from the third season sings "A Little Less Conversation" better than McHottie Daughtry? And is better dressed at the same time (think cool t-shirt and blue velvet blazer with pumas and slouchy jeans). The whole point to that song is the building crescendo, of which there was NONE last night.

Enough critics have taken pot-shots at McPheever that I won't -- although I was grateful to see all of her body parts covered by fabric last night. But the judges were extremely kind in not telling her how pitchy she was in that second number. Playing it safE would have been the wiser choice, but hindsight is 20-20!

Perhaps Elliott really said it best last night after all -- they are all "eeeeeeevil..."

Diva 1 out!

(This Rant Brought to You by the Letter E)

ps -- who really cares of Kellie Pickler sang at her homecoming in violation of Idol rules? It only meant a few more bleeding ear drums in North Carolina that afternoon...

Send in the straight jacket!

2006-04-26T14:05:00.000-07:00

What is paula smokin?

First off let's begin by saying if last week's American Idol was a pixie stick than this week's idol was a pile of doo-doo. And if Simon was drinking the "happy" juice last week, then someone shot him up with some bitter pills this week! According to Randy, Paula and Simon - pretty much everyone stunk - except for mchottie, paris and elliot. And speaking of Elliot I still must be the only one watching who is not moved to tears or tantric sex by his voice. and speaking of sex, is paula having some with him cause those tears welling up with that girl was something serious and there was some undercurrent of something. Meanwhile, while paula's trying to hold back niagra falls , Simon is quietly hysterically laughing at her. And i dare say, likely most of America was laughing with him!

We all know Paris Bennett can sing. But the girl has GOT to secure a visual identity and own it! Each week she looks more done up or made up or like she's playing dress up or pretending to be going on an interview at a bank or security firm! Every time they show a clip of Paris working with the celebrity tutor of the week she looks great! Young, perkey, age-appropriate t-shirts and clothing and her hair usually follows suit. THEN.....she gets on stage and you're like - who's that???

Biggest fashion flub of the night goes to Katharine McPhee who may give guys the mcpheever but someone forgot to give her a mcslip - bad panty lines under that banana yellow dress were a major "don't" - hello, wardrobe......anyone home?

Kelli Pickler had us relive (against our will) memories of the movie "ghost" and lamented to Ryan that sadly she has noone to play pottery with. hmmmm. the 'dumb blonde' gene just keeps going and going and going and going and......

......AND, if Kelli's not voted off tonite than there is a huge calamari-loving, minx-mandating, kelli klub out there and they're a force to be reckoned with!

-D4 out.

Baby Nation!

2006-04-19T23:06:00.000-07:00

I'd like to acknowledge the babies popped out by celebrity moms this week!

In the much anticipated silent birth of baby TomKat (and who can believe it's already been 9 months) the "couple" (i use the term loosely!) successfully managed a stealth-like "to the bat car!" mission almost impossible to the hospital maneuver entirely avoiding any paparazzi! At the hospital, would-be silent birther Katie Holmes was administered an epidural! Now last i checked, epidural was a drug. Drugs are meds. Meds are bad - according to one make believe doctor who plays an actor on tv!

Meanwhile, down the hall of the same hospital, Brooke Shields (in an odd twist of karmic fate even Earl would have trouble believing), Tom's nemisis was delivering her own baby. One can only hope that Brooke made so much noise delivering that baby of hers that it envoked screams from silent birthers down the hall!

What would really cinch this whole thing would be for Tom to get post-partum depression. Unlikely, I know...but one can dream.

Enquiring minds still want to know... Did katie scream? Did Suri (yeah, just another question mark!) scream? Did tom scream? Did all the scientologists go out for ice cream? Shhhhhhhhh!!!!! no talking.

D4 silently out.

In a Pickle(r)

2006-04-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Sooooo, I'm listening to "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter. It seemed fitting given how hard Ace has been trying, when only a DAY after an only slightly-BAD performance, and following a performance by a rock legend who always looks like he got up on the wrong end of a BAD one DAY bender, he was defeated by a blond with a perennial BAD hair DAY, who had a truly BAD outing (day). Some day indeed. (And yes, I think even I've defeated how many times I can use the song title in a run-on sentence.)

As we all know, I'm not a perennial Ace Fan. And yet, Tuesday was the first time I didn't find his falsetto to be like nails on a chalk board. AND I agreed with Randy (for the first time ever, perhaps) that he should have done the whole song in falsetto to make it extra special, instead of just a rehash of Adam Sandler in the Wedding Singer. Check it out, that is THE first song Sandler sings in that hilarious 80s tribute -- in fact, I was sort of waiting for Alexis Arquette to take the stage following Ace and rock out ... Duh Duh, Do You Really Want To Huuuurt Me???

Apparently, America's Voters do. Another Tuesday of Pickler butchering America's song book, and another Wednesday of cutie-pie Paris crying (I mean really, how many people could she have been THAT close to when her mother is present at EVERY SINGLE ACTIVITY -- its almost worse than Lisa Tucker's mom singing along in the audience ....) might put me over the edge, no matter how cute Taylor, Elliott and McHottie continue to be.

Lest I forget to mention my tops for Tuesday, it was All Elliott, All The Time. I completely disagreed with Simon, and truly felt like he cut loose and seemed happy on stage for the first time. Clsoe second was Taylor, whose ending was STUNNING. I had goosebumps for both.

Grouch out,
Diva 1

ps -- Show you should all be watching: Cheerleader Nation -- bring it on, on crack, with a touch of showbiz moms to boot!

pps -- a shout out to ABC for finally bringing ALIAS back! The two hours (which were totally under-hyped) were riveting enough to keep my attention and I was digging the ultra short commercials. More please!

Bucky-ing the Trend

2006-04-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

All right, I admit it. I may be the ONLY person on the planet who is devastated that Bucky has gone home. I truly enjoyed his performance and was jumping up and down to see someone brave enough to take on "Fat Bottomed Girls." (In fact, the first thing I said to Diva 3 last week when they announced the Queen theme was that it was tough, b/c I thought no one would sing any of their fun songs LIKE Fat Bottomed Girls and Bicycle Race (I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my BIIIII-ke...) or Killer Queen). Despite what Paula says, he sings better when he ditches the cowboy hat. And he has the idol qualities we all love -- nice smile, sweet personality and a hometown we've never heard of. In fact, I dare say that there must be more than one diva who was secretly hoping he would ride the dark horse (or maybe just the dark mechanical horse a la John Travolta) all the way into the top 4 or 5. (Oh yeah, I said it!)

All in all, I was again extremely disappointed in Tuesday's show. Not one single person sang "Under Pressure"?? The only possible excuse for Ace's falsetto? McPheever ditches "Don't Stop Me Now" for the hackneyed ballad from The Highlander? Ok, I love The Highlander, largely b/c it features Sean Connery in yummy form as the Spanish Peacock, Clancy Brown as a crazy looking but strangely attractive evil swordsman ("Its better to live fast than fade away!"), and has a soundtrack totally by Queen -- but the song choice was bad, and the outfit was worse (she must own something other than blue jeans, and the belt turned the top into something straight out of Katherine Parker's closet in Working Girl). In fact, Paris should have run for that song once McPheever ditched it -- a perfect choice for a young girl. Instead I got to see her channeling a drag queen version of Beyonce singing a song that can only be sung by Freddie Mercury (and is largely associated with his death). And McHottie? The song was good, but I felt like I was watching a dime-store version of the Pharoah in the Ten Commandments due to the heavy eye-liner and bald head. Very distracting.

Taylor made the only truly inspired change, but turned it into merely a re-visitation of the Dwight Yoakum version (and the accompanying Gap commercial). Someone take the mike stand away and seat him behind a piano next week. So, it is any shocker that Bucky and Elliott (who I thought was the best of the evening, with a GREAT song choice) were my favorites? I think not.

In truth, for me, this is quickly becoming AMERICAN I-DULL. Here's hoping Rod Stewart can drag us back from the edge of oblivion. Odds are, however, that instead of a night of Maggie May and If You Want My Body, we're going to get the old singers and standards from his last 3 records. The click you hear is my mental remote, tuning it all out...

Sadly, Diva 1

ps -- if you're not tuning into Top Chef on Bravo (10 pm Wednesday, with innumerable re-runs) you should be!!

Ace of Arms

2006-04-13T23:01:00.000-07:00

ok, so i didnt shed a tear when Bucky got the Boot on wednesday's idol. Despite the slow motion montage and "you had a bad day" melody, which i admit to liking much like i admit to liking the macarana.

the biggest irony would be if Ace won this idol thing given that he's had a weekly date with the 'bottom 3' for the best of this competition. Now Ace has been a bit too George Michael for me up till now to say i'd in any way be pulling for him, BUT, if he continues to wear sleevess shirts and performs on Tuesday nights the way he encoured that Queen song last night just before he thought he was gonna get the ax he might have a shot. Yep, last night something actually clicked in ace's brain that he could go home and he sang the shit outta that song....or at least i think he did....DAMN, those are some nice ARMS!!!!!!

diva 4 out.

Look Like the Stars for Less Series

2006-04-12T11:19:00.000-07:00

6.5 Carat Pink Engagement Ring Similar To That Worn by Nicole Richie

Look look like the Stars at a fraction of the Price! If you love Nicole Richie but you happen to live more of the simple life than the rich and famous life, try this imitation Nicole Richie inspired diamond & pink sapphire engagement ring. Unlike hers, it won't set you back 75,000 smackers. Now that's HOT!

Cheapskateville!

2006-04-08T20:59:00.000-07:00

Yet another former star with a current reality tv show, Tuckerville follows the trials and tribulations of country legend Tanya Tucker single mom. Although from the episode i caught tonite, it's more the kids raising her.

Layla, the youngest - i'm guessing 6-7, spends more time campaigning for her mom to quit smoking than playing video games with friends. And when her mom is under the weather (read as: recovering from a botox appointment), Layla makes her homemade soup (jot this recipe down. It's a keeper! 1 can cream of mushroom soup, 1 can evaporated milk, half a bottle of honey, 1 raw egg, and a chocolate bar) to make her feel better.

Oldest son Jeremy (oh, wait i think that's the roloff's kids - i can't keep my reality in check!) tries to bail out of jail their "babysitter", but to no avail. judge sentences the sitter to a week in the slammer. ( Now here would have been a great application of Jerry Seinfeld's Butler sentence for criminals - the judge should have ruled that he be a butler to the kids he baby sits. i digress......)

In any event, a new sitter is found, from all apearances through the yellow pages....a dude with wayyyy too tight jeans, long curly hair who looks more like a village person (YMCA) than a sitter of young children. Left to care for Tanya's 2 sons this caretaker is subject to some rough-housing and then a friendly basketball game in the driveway where it's agreed the loser has to jump in tucker lake. Guess who loses? yep. but true to his word the tucker boys drive sitter down to the lake and he jumps in. which, brings up another point...if you're old enough to drive, do you NEED a babysitter??????

finally, Tanya arrives back home (she'd been out with her daughter catching up on her cattle herding skills at a local rodeo stampede. ) and asks the baby sitter how it went. he lies and says fine. Tanya reacts surprised and says, "really? we cant seem to get anyone to come back."

now, just as you think she's about to replace jail slammer with this dude, she reaches in her handbag to pay him and pulls out a 20 dollar bill (yes, i said T-W-E-N-T-Y) and asks him if he has CHANGE!!!!!! a $5 or a few singles!!! Now I am sorry, but you do NOT live in a house the size of TARA from Gone with the Wind, go to hypnotists to quit smoking, and spend thousands on botox and perma make-up and then give the baby sitter who put in at least 3-4 hours of work, jumped in a lake, and watched not one, but two kids who weren't even asleep for the night, twenty bucks!!!!!!!!

I am not a mom and my babysitting days are long behind me but that's just Wrong in any "...Ville" !

.... And you say no sitter wants to come back?

-Diva 4 out.

Honey She's Home, and She Had a Bad Day

2006-04-06T11:00:00.000-07:00

I hate to disagree with a fellow diva, but I feel compelled to defend last night's departure of our favorite EveryWoman. How better to do so than with a Shania -titled-tribute.

Song choice, as Simon Says (another funny!), is CRITICAL. Mandisa, despite a powerful opening, demonstrated very poor song selection. She chose a song this week that didn't really allow her to be the powerhouse she is. She should have been thinking more along the lines of a Faith Hill power-ballad (except for Breathe, which would have resulted in me carving my heart out with a spoon) or Jodie Messina / Dixie Chicks for sassy but strong vocals.

Not to mention the week before, when she selected a little known gospel number that works only because it was a duet by two sisters who sound a lot like Mary J. Blige. Only she didn't sound that way, and she didn't sound like herself. And yes, I may be the only person who had ever heard Wanna Praise You (it came on a free cd I got once at a golf-themed party). And I think the song is actually titled "Chains" (wanna praise you is the subtitle that follows in parentheses). The religious right may be able to put a body in the Oval Office, but they clearly have no hold on AI (probably b/c it is shown on the devil's tool, tv).

Don't get me wrong, Iwill miss her. And it was really hard to see her cry. But I have a feeling she is a few steps closer to her personal goal: "to meet and be on Oprah." I might even buy an O magazine that features Mandisa on the cover. So long as it doesn't play "Bad Day" by Daniel Powter when I open it.

-- 201 Diva 1

Buck It!

2006-04-05T21:09:00.000-07:00

ok, i'm sorry, but for the love of ManDiva, you have GOT to be kidding that she got the heeve - ho before Bucky?

After last nights county coma fest, not that I thought any of them were outstanding, but Bucky bored me to tears. I don't think he has charisma or that "star factor", and i don't think much of his singing. Eventually they will all be given that ticket home except for one, but i am not happy with tonite's results. Ironic how the bottom 2 from last week escaped the wrath. Katharine I was astonished to see in the bottom 2 last week, especially given the vegas odds are on her to win this.

Paris, last night for the first time looked close to her god-given age. I am half-humored with angst to see her sing a Queen song next week.

oh, and arent' we all soooo relieved to hear Paula resigned her contract. The thought of potential replacement Jessica "whine" Simpson was enough to make me sick. It's enough Katie Couric is leaving the Today Show, I don't think I could have dealt with two changing of the TV guards in one week!

- Diva 4 out the Door!

Simon Scowl

2006-04-04T18:22:00.000-07:00

201 Diva 1 in the house and wearing, you guessed it, Simon's Scowl (clever, right?). I'm always a little wary of "Country" night on America's favorite show, and tonight proved me right once again. Even Pickler could not find a shred of originality, despite what the judges thought.

Where to begin? How about with Kenny. His chicken franchises (which I thought were in bankruptcy) must be very lucrative because that was some excellent repair work he had done. He looks 30 years younger, and has none of that Sir-Tom-Jones-Evil-Chinese-Too-Tan-Overlord effect. But I hope I'm not the only one who had a hard time reconciling that face with the voice -- I mean, I grew up knowing that I had "to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away, and know when to run" (away from the knife that is). Disappointing. I bet Kim Carnes wouldn't even recognize him, not that 1/2 of the people watching AI know who she is either.

Taylor. I love Taylor. But someone from Birmingham, Alabama, should know that John Denver, no matter how much we actually love him (his songs and his movies with George Burns, I know they are y'alls guilty pleasure too!), is a snoozer to open with. He was boring, and looked more like Kenny than faux Kenny did. Scary.

Mandisa. Although Shania is basically the country shaka khan, singing about girl power and short skirts (I'm not sure how the two equate, actually), I was again not impressed. Shania songs repeat the same 8 notes (i.e. one octave) in the only key Shania can sing in, and it was not something to showcase a voice like Mandisa's. Not to mention the vertigo that top was giving me. Even if it didn't suck me into the voting vortex. I love her, and I love her figure, but she needs to rely on the professional dresser. Boot cut jeans. For the love of god, I should not be able to tell you have on black boots with a weird tan top that my grandmother made for her couch (at least before it found its way to hollywood).

Elliot. Surprisingly, he makes my top three of the evening. While I would normally say "if tomorrow never comes" would be the appropriate time to sing either a Garth Brooks song or a Trisha Yearwood song, as they are COUNTRY ROYALTY and therefore equals of, and subject to, the WMI ban (no whitney, no mariah, no idol, repeat after me!) we had songs from both, and I thought Elliot rocked his. His was different than Garth's version, with a completely original ending. And he took Kenny to heart, and sang a simpler (and therefore more country) version of himself. Loved.

Paris. I could certainly live without that song. I could also leave without her, which is what I thought she was saying due to poor enunciation. It was a complete ape of the Trisha Y version, right to the very end. Oddly, I thought of it as Dionne Warwick, doing Trisha Yearwood (at least Simon got it 1/2 right). Not to mention its the love song from Con Air. 'Nuff said.

Ace. Also in my top three. I normally hate his song choice, and his serial killer stare, but both were missing tonight (along with his cheesy scar). In the immortal words of Paula, it was happiness, sunshine, and I felt he had "connected" with the song -- in fact, he had me right until the falsetto. I don't get it as a "signature" and am pretty sure that Michael Jackson made it creepy for all who follow. Am I wrong?

Pickler. I am so pleased to know that the Pickler I saw blatantly copying Reba McEntire's Fancy, right down to Reba's signature pronunciation and funny accent, was in fact "the real Pickler." Perhaps they just didn't teach her about plagiarism (or the vocal equivalent) in the backwoods school she claims to have attended. And would someone please teach her another move other than lunging for the camera with one hand? In 90 seconds, she made that move THREE times. Once per 30 seconds if you're counting (and apparently I was, I was THAT bored). Although the arrangement and cut for the word choice was fancy indeed. I'll give her that much.

P.S. If Garth and Trisha are the Charles and Diana of country, Reba is Queen Elizabeth. Therefore, also subject to the WMI rule.

McHottie. He was my runner up for the evening's top three. I really liked the softer side, but again (in a Paula-esque way), he wasn't selling the song to me. You could tell he was really just doing it b/c he had too. In fact, I would have chosen something more rockabilly, like "Guilty" by the Warren Twins (find it online, its catchy) or even something from Brooks and Dunn (breaking my own country royalty rule, I know, but he's worth it).

McPheever. This was the only country song I had never heard before. And hope to never hear again. Better outfit than last week, but boring boring boring.

Finally, Bucky. He rounds out my top three. I know we all expected him to do good, but I was surprised by the softer song choice (I love this song!) and impressed that he took to heart the need to make us UNDERSTAND HIM. Say what you want about Bucky, the boy knows how to work the camera as well -- did you see that sideways glance at the end? He was comfortable on stage, polished and memorable.

All of the above aside, I am DESPERATE FOR A BETTER THEME. What's next? Reggae from the 20th Century? Sex Pistols night? Bands that start with the letter B? (Even that would be better because the Beatles would be in there). And do I really need to see faux Kenny sing tomorrow? No.

Diva 1 out (for now... clearly I needed a rant).

Diva2 in the house, daaaaaaaaawg!!!

2006-03-23T13:42:00.000-08:00

This has been an action packed week of reality TV for me. I got to catch up on last week's AI, that I missed while basking in the Caribbean sun. Then before I knew it, it was time for this week's Idol AND I finally got to catch my first episode of this cycle of America's Next Top Model. Phew!

I was sooooo excited to see the Stevie Wonder night. I'll admit, I'm a total dork- I got tears in my eyes. Too bad none of the singing lived up to the promise of Mr. Wonder or the contestants' excitement. I think Randy was onto something, Stevie songs may just be too hard at this point in the competition.

Oh, but this week those kids really hit the jackpot- Barry Freakin' Manilow!!!!!! I'm not a Fanilow or anything, but there is no ignoring that the man is a musical genius. Stevie is too, don't get me wrong. But Barry is the man who started his career helping to build the careers of other singers.

I think it was totally due to his genius and hardwork that this week's show totally kicked ass. I was glad the contestants acknowleged how much he did for them. I wish the judge's had too.

My quick takes, starting with my top 3:

Mandisa- unbelievable. Blew me away. Brilliant. Except the hair was a little much. But the dress was genius. She had been on stage a whole 30 seconds before I exclaimed "damn, she's big"- usually it takes less than 1 sec.

Paris- also brilliant. For once I even liked her outfit.

Chris- his singing was a bit off, but his choice of song and execution was amazing. I still find his eyes oddly dead or something. But I love him, don't get me wrong.

My 3 that I love but wasn't as blown away by their performances:

Taylor- love love love him. But he's got to pick a song that actually shows off his voice at some point.

Elliot- very good, but I felt he was pitchy. Anyone else? But then again, so was Chris.

Katherine- very very good, but the top 3 were so good, she gets pushed to the second tier.

Then the 2 that I don't like but was pleasantly suprised by their performances:

Ace- brilliant song choice and arrangement. I really don't like him, but I'll give him his due- that was a great take on a classic. And it sounded like he came up with the idea, not Barry, which is shocking 'cause Ace don't strike me as a genius in any department. But he's still better off than our very "special" contestant:

Kellie- good golly I dislike this girl. But her performances get better every week (well, except for last week!). Her rendition of Walkin' was original and hot. But, come on, could the girl BE any stupider??? "I thought he was calling me a jacket..." "Look at the pickle!" etc etc etc. Wow, how did this girl even find the audition site. How does she drive? Dress herself? And clearly she doesn't know how to apply blush. Yikes.

My bottom 3 (I swear I thought this before the results show proved that America and I agree on something)

Bucky was OK. Lots of energy, but he just doesn't have the voice the others do. And he ain't no Bo Bice.

Kevin- one of his best performances, but still he just isn't as good as the rest.

Lisa- she's a child star. She's boring and trying too hard. And I resent that I think her mom is my age. And if she isn't, she's still hotter than I am. Which hurts even more.

As far as Kevin's leaving, I really liked him, but I'm glad he's gone. I would have been fine with any of my bottom 3 leaving and I think it is just a matter of time before they do. I'm just glad we didn't have a repeat of last year where someone with clearly less talent than the others sticks around WAY too long because people feel sorry for him *cough* Scott *cough*.

Dearest fiance thinks Paris is destined to win. I think that is a possibility, but I'm not so sure.

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL!!! Woo hoo!!! Finally, I get to see this cycle. Except, what the hell, did they hijack the short bus for this year's contestants??? I'm not sure I can watch every episode with the same joy I had in years past. We'll see.

Ok, Diva2 OUT!

No Idol Time

2006-03-15T08:53:00.001-08:00

The shift in reality felt across the world last night was, yes, 201D1 MISSING Idol due to various and sundry commitments. (Thank goodness I managed to tape the last 10 minutes with the re-cap.) Having enjoyed obsessed diva's commentary, I feel compelled to note that most of the english-speaking world apparently agrees with her -- Daughtry is the one to beat, with Taylor-made, EverywoMan, McPheever and "I Never Met a Two Syllable Word I Couldn't Pronounce" in a close race for the final six.

On a side note, I hope that Flavo and Hoopz will be "for reals" and she won't run off and marry an Italian waiter on the mediterranean shore like the last woman in Flav's life. Here's to their love, like Flav's giant timepieces, may it take a licking and keep on ticking... but if I ever receive gold teeth in lieu of a bright sparkly diamond, may someone haul me out to jersey shore and harpoon me quickly!

(On a side side note, I am continually surprised that a man who favors fuschia tuxes and white gloves has such a pottery barn-esque abode.)

ciao, Diva 1

Wonder no More

2006-03-14T21:33:00.000-08:00

A Wonderful night of Stevie Wonder classics where most of the contestants lulled us to sleep with unoriginal and not quite up to par performances. A few bright spots, Mandesa, Taylor, Kat McPhee, and Paris and one stunning hot performance overshadowing all others delivered by none other than Mr. McHottie Daughtry himself. The man is a rock star and he proves that every week. Poor Paula could barely speak. On a good day, her english as a second language commentary is hard to decipher. If we could play whatever the f--- she said backwords, I think we'd here "I'd love to sleep with you Chris". At least that's what was on my mind. Could I be anymore transparent.

In summary, this American Idol night was all about Chris & how much I love him.

Obsessed Diva 3 Over & Outtie for now

The Flavor of Love goes out with a Bang, uh I mean a Bling Bling!

2006-03-13T20:58:00.000-08:00

No big surprises here but more entertaining television to close out the season finale of Flavor Flave's Lovefest. It's all about the bling, the pimping thing, and more ghetto girl catfighting.

Miss New York gives our fair city and state a bad name. This girl is crazy, nutso, psycho, oh and did I mention, CRAZY!! I couldn't figure out how it is she made it to the final showdown. It's not like she put out before their final date, when they made "sweet music" together. Getting the the boot the next day had to sting, and hopefully deflate her massive ego somewhat.

And the victorious Hoopz got her man in the can, wrapped up like a fruitcake in a tailor made fuschia tux, complete with mad hatter tophat (typical Flave flare) dazzling that sparkling gold diamond studded smile...yeah baby!! come to mama!!... Seriously though, the man is koo koo for cocoa puffs! and absolutely CRAZY! She so lucky!!

As a gift, an expression of his mad love for Miss Hoopz, he got her, of course, a girls best friend, a beautiful diamond, but not just any diamond, this one was carefully set in gold tEEth!! Again, ever girls dream.

I must say Hoopz is a down home girl, cool chick. Glad she won...a prize I'm not so sure about? and I hope they live happily ever after (...in reality tv terms that's about 2 weeks). Enjoy the ride and your even crazier reality tv show spin offs which unless my life gets more interesing I'll be tuned in to see.

Diva 3 over & outtie

Tennessee Shocker

2006-03-09T07:55:00.000-08:00

** Newsflash ** Real-life Dr. McDreamy, Travis Stork, and Kindergarten Teacher, Sarah from Tennesse, are officially NOT together.

No f---king kidding!!! there was no chemistry, no spark, no nothin during the 6 weeks of this past season's lamest bachelor show to date. We watched nothing more than a Tennesse-bonded friendship develop between two people who couldnt light each other's fire in california drought.

They're both lovely people but noone bought it for a minute that this was a romance. Now maybe they can both move forward to meeting someone who will actually rock their world. (Note to Travis: Next time pick the girl you want, not the one your parents want for you!)

-D4 out.

American Idol Men's Nite

2006-03-09T07:33:00.000-08:00

Hmmm, first off, gotta say i was kinda bored with this one. I was more in Simon's camp then any of the other judges tonite and was glad he was there "to keep it real"!

Kevin - I don't get. Hated the song. Made me want to slit my wrists. Diva 1 suggests I listen to him with my eyes closed next time and i'll have to try that next week to see if it changes my opinion.

Bobby Brady, aka Will - was another sleeper and bad song, although Paula was drooling and gushing over him. HELLLLOOOOOOO were you even listening?????

Taylor is adorable as always and is a fave in my book! I love his enthusiasm and smile and he's just having fun! I'm thankful to know he will probably not have to be in this year's easter parade too. wearing a bunny suit ain't no picnic unless you're a playboy.

Ace - uh did you catch the guy that must have been his older brother in the audience - totally cute! Houston, did we have a bad hair day or did we think it'd be cool to sing with the beenie on? I admit, it was kinda hot. Plus, we learned that the man's got skills in the handyman department. Now i know who i'm calling next time I need something drilled. oh, right,,, his singing... again, i wasnt blown away. i'm not a michael jackson fan and he sounded a little too george michael for me.

Chris was good, but not as wow this week.

Elliot rocked it too. Bucky (times 2) was fun to watch.
-diva4

Chris McHottie Daughtry

2006-03-08T20:53:00.000-08:00

Yum Yum Yum!!!

In the afterhours of Idol voting I just felt like giving my boy a shout out. You are in my thoughts always.

I think my feelings could best be expressed with the lyrics to the classic song "Get Here" by
Oleta Adams

You can reach me by railway, you can reach me by trailway
You can reach me on an airplane, you can reach me with your mind
You can reach me by caravan, cross the desert like an Arab man
I don't care how you get here, just - get here if you can

You can reach me by sail boat, climb a tree and swing rope to rope
Take a sled and slide down the slope, into these arms of mine
You can jump on a speedy colt, cross the border in a blaze of hope
I don't care how you get here, just - get here Chris McHottie Daughtry,
GET HERE if you can!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obsessed Diva 3 out!