To The Pain ...

Who doesn't remember the infamous battle cry of Wesley, aka the Dread Pirate Roberts, in The Princess Bride? To the pain means to completely disfigure your enemy BUT FOR their perfect ears so they can hear the hideous cries that surround them. And this is precisely how I feel after watching tonight's mind-numbing 2 hour debut of the gentleman idols.

I may be getting older (and wiser, and more beautiful) but I can't remember a more boring evening of song. It was like a VH1 80s retrospective, only without the funny celebrity cameos and bubble quotes that make those shows watchable. While Idol usually benefits from older contestants, who make seasoned song choices that suit their voices and temperaments, I am now in favor of invoking "theme week" that much earlier. Michael Jackson? Luther Vandross? Stevie Wonder? There were so many BAD song choices that the women could all sing nursery rhymes and still look more "hip" and "with it" than the boys did. (Bonus points to whomever noted the fact that the Dawg's mis-reference to Edwin McCain ended up being, in fact, the last song of the night.)

Diva 1's rundown for "best" of the pack? Beatboxing boy-bander Blake Lewis. Great song AND he can sing. Although I recommend he lose the Anthony Michael Hall wardrobe. Second place tie to Nick ("Vote for") Pedro and Phil Stacey. Love the tone of Nick's voice and at least his song choice played to it. I snoozed through the first 30 seconds of Phil and the 10 pans to his wife, but was wowed when he started belting. But he needs to keep the hat to balance the eyebrows. Rounding out the top for Diva 1? AJ Tabaldo, Sundance, and seconds 50-110 of Jared Cotter.

Who's going? I think Sanjaya and Rudy are out this week.

As for the rest, is Diva 1 the only one who thinks Paul Kim looks like he's 35 and that JT-2 looks EXACTLY like his dad???

Until tomorrow, sign me Diva 1 (aka Simon Jr.)


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