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Tuesday, September 25, 2007

The Magical Mystery Tour de Force ~ Takin’ it to the Streets of Austin with their Newly Crowned Pick-up Artist Protégé Kosmo

Congratulations to Kosmo for earning the final medallion. I’m not sure what specifically the design on it represents (honor, greatness, bravery, Celtic love). However, I do know that Kosmo IS the Pick-Up Artist (PUA).

As such, he will be touring the globe with the freaky fishnet-top wearing super serious Mystery and his douche bag wingmen, Snoopdog & the other one, or is it Matador and Snoopy, no wait, it’s Matador and J-Dog. I bet they need to spit some mad game when they open a set and introduce themselves with those names. It’s a good thing they have the title and skills of a Master PUA to their credit, otherwise, could be a slippery slope that one.

Back to the Mystery Man. Didn’t Mr. M get the last note that got passed around the entire home room class of the last 80’s romantic teen angst movie probably starring Molly Ringwald, Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Andrew McCarthy, Rob Lowe, Judd Nelson, Ally Sheedy and all the other brat packers. The note said, in case you were wondering M, “In the future there will be no more fishnet tops unless you are performing or marching in the gay pride parade which btw is totally cool with us if that’s what you’re into (although our bone-head Principal Richard Vernon, all the unreformed a-hole jocks, the snooty princess debutants, and just general resident high school jerks wouldn’t agree but we and the super cool janitor think their crazy). Let’s remember to always be excellent to each other!!.” Well, the note went something like that anyway. I digress…

Seriously though, as much as I kid and well, throw some zingers out to this misfit crew of crusaders (and I’m not talking about the students or AFCs – that’s average frustrated chumps if you’re nasty or Janet Jackson or ignorant to PUA lingo), they are really doing a lot of good out there. I mean when you strip it down, this show really offered up some smart heartfelt behavioral psychology. The team of nerdy & seriously social/female-phobic guys really turned around.

With the help of Mystery & his crew of Joes & Hoes these guys developed healthy self-esteem and the ability to function and succeed in social situations with women. We got the chance to witness these transformations as their phobias and negative self-images melted away. Joe D. seemed most moved by the whole experience and it was really cool to see how great he felt at the end. God bless him, he just needs to come up with some better ‘threads’. Anyone who has been watching the show knows that’s not 70’s hippy-speak for clothes. There’s been more girl-on-girl combat in Austin over some dude named George. Who is this George? And what is he doing to the female populous in this otherwise peaceful, loving, politically evolved anti-Bush “war no more” capital of Texas.

On another note, in all fairness, I think Brady got side swiped when Kosmo was crowned King of the Chumps. He should have gotten a bit more camera time and kudos from M & the gang. Just a “hey man, close but no medallion, job well done, you’re awesome and will go far dude” would have been nice, then they could throw their arms around Kosmo in a very heterosexual manly way.

There have been many postings/rumors/possible truths about how Kosmo and Brady were “cast” - as in they’re actors/models. According to these commentators, it was no accident that they ended up as the final two. Not sure about all that and quite frankly I’m not so sure I care either way.

I got a lot out of this show. In addition to the shear entertainment value, picking up some fun new vocabulary (that probably won’t make it into Webster’s anytime soon) I learned some things that I believe even I can work on in my interactions with men. You know, I can DHV with my positive Avatar that will encourage men to throw Gambit my way giving me the IOI which might turn me into a Pivot if I am interested as well at which point I may deliver the IOI that might lead to KINO escalation that might deliver some good vibrations leading to a Bouncing situation back to his/my place where we can physically negotiate compliance testing as we KINO escalate into a possibly heavenly state of nonverbal communication otherwise known as SEX or six if you’re Bret McKenzie from Flight of the Concords. I’d love to share some KINO with that luscious KIWI any day, any night, any where!!!! Oops, I digress again! What am I apologizing for? This is my damn blog, I do what I want. How’s that for DHV!! Peace & Love Y’all!

Diva 3 outtie!!

P.s. Translations PUA-speak to English.

AFC – Average Frustrated Chumps

Avatar – Persona, Image

Bounce – Change locations

Compliance Test – Checking Comfort Level

DVH – Demonstration of Higher Value

Gambit – A conversation starter

IOIs – Indicators of Interest Nonverbal signs that show that a woman is attracted to you

IODs – Indicators of Disinterest – nonverbal signs that show that a woman isn’t attracted to you

KINO – Physical touch, or kinesthetic

Moving Targets – Sets that are in motion

Multiple Threading – Weaving between various stories

Neg – Playful form of teasing

Niquito – Chick Magnet

Pivot – A woman who assists in opening sets

Qualifying – The act of trying to prove to someone how worthy you are

Roll off – Showing disinterest by turning body

Set – Group of people

Stacking – Moving from one story to another

Thread – Line of Conversation

Two Set – two people

Oh, and by the way, back to Bret McKenzie, cutest Kiwi ever. New Zealanders are often referred to as Kiwis after the national kiwi bird, that is, not surprisingly the cutest bird ever!

Watch Kosmo get Krowned:

Technorati Tags: mystery, the pickup artist season finale, reality tv, 17 divas,kosmo,the pickup artist,the pick up artist, brady,flight of the conchords, bret mckenzie, j-dog,matador

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