Phil Stacey is the Bomb Diggity!

Diva 1, after a short hiatus, is back tonight with thoughts abrim on Gwen Stefani night. Prepped with a panoply of notes, she is prepared to declare Phil Stacey tonight's stand out winner -- if only for the fact that he followed the cardinal Idol rule -- Never Sing the Guest Artist's Song. Ever. Phil's outfit was rocking and finally made him look more like a pop-star than a pin-up grandfather. He delivered a superb vocal, without any crazy eye syndrome, and picked a song that made you forget his ineptness at stomping around the stage and his macarena-like hip shaking of last week. Loved it, and loved him. To quote his wife's sign from last week, Divas Loved Our Sailor!

(Diva Note: Phil's excellence was not suppressed by the fact that my dvr chose Phil's soaring chorus to freeze up for an entire second -- the beauty of the time display -- and demonstrate fully the fallacy of taping both Dancing with the Stars and Idol at the same time. For future reference, all fellow DWS addicts should simply turn over at 5 to 10 to see who gets ousted unceremoniously.)

(Side side note: Diva 1 is seriously bummed that she won't see Paulina P -- aka Ms. Ric Ocasek -- work her magic on DWS. Diva 1 demands a recount, or at least that Ms. Mills' partner rip off the fake leg like Billy Ray scalped Karina.)

Tonight's runner-up prize goes to Gina Glocksen -- although I had to close my eyes to try to wipe the heinous outfit out of my short (and long) term memory, the vocal was the best female vocal of the night. My only advice? Fire that stylist, and the hair dresser who turned you into a one-eyed wonder. You are not the invisible daughter from The Incredibles.

As for the rest...

Lakisha: Great as always, but I wasn't really loving the outfit OR the arrangement of the song. I should know, as I dance around to that song frequently in my apartment courtesty of the Charlies' Angels Deux soundtrack.

Fro Patrol: This was the first time I really enjoyed him singing, b/c the song showed off the tone and range of his voice. But I desperately want to dress him in a DARK shirt and LIGHT jacket, and not the other way around as he apparently insists on each week. I also want to tell him (in my mother's best kitchen voice) to PUT THE MIKE STAND DOWN.

Singing Machine: First to break the afore-mentioned cardinal rule for the SECOND time, and the best thing I can say about the hairdo is it made him look 15 years older. Plus he forgot the words. But I bet he'll be back next week. He is this year's equivalent of the "She-Bangs" boy, but for the fact he made it past initial auditions.

Hayley: Did anyone else think she looked like Paula's twin sister tonight? Hair -- horrific. And just b/c it was an 80s song didn't mean she had to resurrect something her much older sister bought at Express in 1982. The Old Lady is back, and she's BORING.

Melinda: Excuse Diva 1 for being a bit snobby, but given the army of stylists, I don't think anyone should be wearing a top that is currently on exhibit in every Bebe store window on 3rd Avenue and in Las Vegas (seriously, the Divas were just there -- and its on every Bebe mannequin west of the Missouri river). Only real critique of another good performance? Lose the belt next time.

Blake: Does anyone BUT Diva 1 think he's really not as much as the judges think he is? The outfit was like a straight jacket (the pants were even peg-legged, an offense one Diva will recognize as wolf-acious) and he was boring as all get out. Plus I'm EXTREMELY TIRED of staring up his nostrils every week. Naturally, Paula loved it.

Jordin: Diva is reminded of that famous saying -- one giant step for Jordinkind (last week), two massive steps backward this week. It was like a school girl talent routine fresh out of Mean Girls -- outfit included. Also, I thought it was extremely pitchy. And most idol-escents get chastised for allowing the back-up singers to do the heavy lifting.

Chris: For Diva 1, this was the third best performance of the evening. Not nasally and, although it was a little tentative at the start, the second half was great. I think he has a better voice than Blake by 10 miles, and with his tone I want to hear him sing some Stevie Wonder. I do want to warn him though, Members Only called and they're looking for their jacket.

Final thoughts? Paula looked weirdly old tonight, I must throw out my silver eye shadow (if I had some) immediately. I hate Gwen Stefani for looking so great even without her over-the-top fabulous diva make-up of yore. And her white patent platforms were the bomb, dawg!

Diva 1


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