David Cook, You Had Me at "Hello"!!

I think my feelings about American Idol this week can best be expressed through the following poem, written by me, Diva 3:

David Cook you make my stir fry
When you sing I let out a sigh
You've got me flying high
So happy we'd be together
if you'd just come on by (my door, "hello, is it me you're looking for?)

The fire's been lit, my cookies are done,
they are burnt & black but I'm not a maniac
I just wanna roll around with you in the sack
You can be my dog, 'ruff ruff' & I'll be your boo
I'll cook you breakfast, do you like tofu scramble too?

Keep on rockin' dog, represent the pound (you, Michael Johns, and Jason are the only dudes in it). You guys make Idol "worthy" (to use a word from the Simonary. His cousin Dick doesn't know what it means and neither do we, but who the bloody fuck cares).

There was more I had to say but David's performance eclipsed everything else for me for the most part and I'm bored at even the very thought of reviewing the others (more than half of which were not even memorable).

A couple last points, in addition to David Cook's absolutely inspired, creatively brilliant and magnificent performance, I think Jason's version of hallelujah was brilliant as well. David, Jason, and Michael are at the top, and David is at the tippy top (please reference the aformentioned notes and poems. That's pretty much how I feel, not entirely per se, but I don't have all day!.)

Also, can the psych medical triage team for Paula Abdul resolve their union issues, cross the f-ing picket line, and get back to work. She's going down and she's taking us all with her. It pains me so to see her babble in languages none of us understand...literally it does pain me...not just per se, like forreal!!

Obsessed DC Fan Diva 3 outtie ~ nighty night!!
(I need to watch DC's new rock ballad hit performance of Hello a few more times on youtube to help rock me to sleep, b/c in "my dreams I kiss his lips a thousand times"...I need to get enough REM time in, 1000 times you know is a lot!)

This wasn't a review per se, but it was in fact my point of view in case anyone gives a s@#$.

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, david cook, 17 divas, paula abdul, michael johns, tv blog,jason castro

80s Night, Is Paula Feeling All Right??

Diva 1 reporting in on 80s week, Idol style and to echo a fellow Diva -- is anyone tired of this yet? This week's episodes, by and large, were insanely boring but for Paula's ridiculous ramblings and amazing transformation from tuesday's spanish rose to wednesday's tory burch wearing, hair medallion sporting soccer mom.

The general recap? Three Whitney songs (Chikezie, Asia'h and Syesha), one Celine song (David H. -- yes, all the reporters were too kind in reminding people that its a Meatloaf song since the last one to sing it was, in fact, Celine), too many pairs of highwaisted jeans to count, and at least two contestants who seem to think they can sing with their eyes closed and connect with America's home viewers.

The highlights? Jason Castro, weird elfen/Lord of the Rings hairdo aside; David Cook, who bravely made Lionel Richie current as something other than Nicole's father; and Amanda Overmeyer, the nurse/rocker who finally found a genre other than the 60s that offers her some song choices.

The lowlights? Danny Noriega, who moves like a teenage girl/cheerleader; Luke Menard, who forgot that even George Michael appeared somewhat engaging when singing Wake Me Up; Carly Smithson, who seems to have lost all semblance of personality; and Kristy Lee Cook, who simply leaves this Diva at a loss for words.

Tune in next week for more boring Idol-ers revelations... Yawn.

Diva 1 out

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, jason castro, 17 divas, Chikezie, Asia'h, Syesha,Amanda Overmeyer

Slicin' and Dicin'- Let's Just Cut Them All!

Ok, maybe not ALL of them. But dang, I'd happily cut at least half of them right now and not even think twice.

I have to give Idol credit, though. They started this year off right. After all the uproar over the meanness of last year's audition phase, the judges were noticeably nicer and more constructive. I, for one, was VERY happy with this change. I don't watch Idol to make fun of delusional people, and I really don't watch it to see what kind of obviously planned over-the-top "me so crazy" act some jerk can come up with to get onto TV! Ok Ok, I am glad they left in a *few* delusional people this season- like the over-acting little spoiled brat Simon so rightly called out. But I thought over-all the auditions were pleasantly focused on the talent!

I have mixed feelings about this year's Hollywood week. While some of them may have liked getting the pass to the last day, I think it may have lulled some of them into a false sense of security and superiority. Josiah was clearly robbed, but I think the new process may have disadvantaged him.

My usual complaint with the first few weeks remains, though. They need to give all the members of the top 24 some kind of airtime and backstory. It happens every year- a few poor stiffs make it in that we've never ever seen before, then get cut almost immediately. Some of the unknowns do make it through, but it still doesn't seem fair. Especially with this year's long list of tragedies and sob stories. How could someone like Amy go up against a dead daddy, a sold horse, getting hit by a semi, or a lost voice?? It was a hopeless cause. Based on this theory, I guessed either Amy, Alexandrea, or one of the blond chicks would be gone.

Which brings us to this week's performances and cuts. I'll admit my earlier complaint doesn't hold exactly true. I do admit that, yes, Amy pretty much sucked and deserved to go home. But I feel bad- all the way to the top 24 and we know NOTHING about her. I know way more than I want to about perfectly average Carly. I was so glad Simon brought her down a notch. I kinda like her, but I'm sick of the hype. And her awful sperm eye-brows.

What was really too bad is we did have back story on Joanne, she seemed likable, had a pretty good performance, and yet, she got sent home. WTF people? Is this going to be one of those wonky years when I feel I have to vote for hours to balance out all the crazy people voting for no-talent brats??

OK, so if I could cull the herd now, who would I cut? Heck it might be easier to say who I'd like to see stay. LOL

But seriously, first on the chopping block would be the unbelievably, mind-bogglingly awful and obnoxious Danny Noriega. I see kids like him and I want to weep for the future, to steal a line from a movie that will age me, Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Maybe I am getting too old for Idol?

I would also love to wave good-bye to David Cook (way too wanna-be cool), Jason Yeager (just too cheesy and awful for words), and Luke (wait, he's even MORE cheesy and awful, although easier on the eyes). For the girls, I'd get rid of one of the blond girls, but I'm seriously not sure who is who.

I'm pulling for Amanda to start making some better song choices, I love her voice. I do want to re-do her rocker-chick look. I would still make her look rocker- just better.

On the other end of the spectrum, I'm oddly intrigued by Brooke White. I usually hate these kind of people. But she's pure without being the slightest bit preachy. A rare combination. In that vein, can I just say how happy I was that awful abstinence preacher girl got cut!! Although I did feel bad she's getting taken for a ride by her "coach," the former Idol contestant. Wow.

I'm waiting for great things from David A, David H, Jason, and of course, Michael Johns. His version of Bohemian Rhapsody was mind-blowing. I want more like that, I agreed with Simon, that was better than this week's Doors cover. If Chikezie can get it together, he could really surprise us.

Another thing I'm struck by is how many of this year's contestants tried out, and failed at various points, in previous years. How far can you get before they say you can't come back?? It is a *little* ridiculous. Not to mention those who have previous record contracts and touring experience.

But despite any disappointments, I can't wait for next week!

Mommy Diva Out! (I can't remember my number- who am I??)


Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, ai, 17 divas, hollywood week, david cook, tv blog,danny noriega

If Ya Wannabe My Idol...

You've got to be upbeat, make sure your song's not pitchy and don't forget to move your feet....

Ok, so at least one Diva is still suffering the effects of Monday's Madison Square Garden outing to the Spice Girls. However, last night's vote-off victims could have taken a cue from mes amies spice as they were evidently completely unaware -- despite Colton Berry's professed "love" of all-things-Idol -- of the unfallible Idol rules that must be followed if you want to make it into the top 12:

(1) don't sing anything by Mariah, Whitney, Celine, Peabo Bryson, Richard Marx or Luther Vandross during the first few weeks;

(2) do not sit on a chair; and

(3) do not sing a slow song.

Garrett, Colton and Amy proved to be totally ignorable -- but for their fashion faux pas and pitchy droning... and thus suffered a hasty exit last night, made all the more hasty by Seacrest's blissful cut-to-the-cut approach. I'm not even sure one could rip off a bandaid faster than Seacrest let the farewells fly last night...

Diva 1 has to exclude Joanna from the foregoing categories, however. Joanna proved that she could dress herself well and, despite the pitch problems and nerves, was far better than this seasons Britney-wannabe, Carrie Underwood look alike, or cowgirl/prom princess who kicked off the womens show on Wednesday (collectively, "the blondes").

Thanking their lucky stars last night were Mr. Moon River, Ch-Cheezy, Orlando Blook look-alike Luke (something), Scatwoman and the Blondes. As for the rest of us, its safe to say we were left to wonder why we couldn't just cut to the top 12, how many more group numbers must be endured and if there's a device to erase Paula's throw-back 80s video from our minds completely.... Oh yeah, and why the kids had to be publicly kicked to the curb in their second-hand group number costumes. In the immortal words of Aaron, "un uh, not cool!"

Until next week, Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, ai, 17 divas, hollywood week, colton berry, tv blog,spice girls

Not Your American Idol

Is it just me or do about half the men look like women? I just can’t get over it....(Leif) Garrett, Noriega, Hernandez, and Colton (who actually made reference to how he looks like Ellen DeGeneres). Not that there's anything wrong with this, but it's just a bit confusing. If I wasn't paying attention, or say maybe dosed off for a few (which given these performances would not be out of the question) I may open my eyes and think it's ladies night...what the F?

And then there are the manly men that are just a deilish dish to feast our eyes on…there’s aussie hottie Michael Johns (I can even forgive him for having 2 first names), and Luke Menard. Michael has “it” I think. The beginning of the Doors song he did made me melt like cheese in a Ray’s Pizza’s oven (shout out to all the New Yorkers in the m-en-f-en haaooooouuuuuuuuuuse!). Hot and sexy, I’m totally down with MJ!

Moving on...Speaking of cheese, how about that Cheezie, oops that’s Chikezie!!!!

Of the women, I think Miss Syesha is awesome, she’s my fave pick for the ladies so far. There we some other interesting performances. I like the nurse-rocker.

Overall, there’s been a shadow over this years Idol since the pick of the top 24 show. And that shadow is mixed with a bit of anger. The honeymoon AI and I have been having over the years is finally over at least for now. We may be able to reignite the spark, but it may take some time. It’s like they cheated on me and I’m mad as hell. It is hard for me to see the top 12 men, especially the 6 or 7 lame ones and not feel this way. Why are these fuckers there and my boy Josiah is out sitting in his car!? That Josiah has it all…an amazing artist! His own songs are fabulous. He could make an album today and it’d go platinum, no doubt. Love, love, LOVE him & LOVE Ellen DeGeneres for all her fabulousness she sees the truth too and had him on her show yesterday. It was amazing. She showered him with gifts (which I don’t think even half will fit in his car, but something tells me he’s not going to be living in that car much longer).

Nuff said ~

Diva 3 out for now ~

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, josiah, 17 divas, ellen degeneres, ai, michael johns,idol recap

Idol With a Vengeance!

Yes, ladies and gents, the long-awaited, post-Super Bowl schmorgasborg of American Idol has returned -- and with it, more diva-licious observations from your favorite reality tv mavens.

This year brings even more sad stories than usual. Diva 1 counted in just two shows (Hollywood week and Miami) 2 very recent patriarchal deaths, one heroic crash survivor, one more recent and slightly less tragic crash survivor (given that the show prominently featured her riding her motorcycle with reckless abandon), 3 janis joplin impersonaters (2 of whom were also in the crash survivor category), 1 beauty queen, immigration problems, innumerable "this is my last chance"-ers and too many single parents to count (including one refreshingly single dad -- doesn't anyone else besides Diva 1 wonder why the single pops never turn out for reality tv?).

This year's crop of potential American Idols include (to name a few): a nurse, a plus-size model, a former boy bander from miami, a 16-year-old, a rastafarian (at least by looks), a daughtry-wannabe, an Irish girl and an Australian mate. In usual form, we saw too little of half of the members of "our" top 24 to cast odds or truly pick a front runner, although I think many will keep an eye on Carly (the irish girl allergic to her dog) and David Hernandez (a Simon pronouncement that one will have to work harder is always a good sign) -- front runners if any are to be had.

Diva 1 would be uttterly remiss if she didn't note Idol's hugest mistake to date -- sending Josiah home without a ticket to the top 24. The child had more talent in his pinky that last year's boring, beat-boxing, boy-bander Blake and an interesting tonal quality to his voice. Not to mention a story made for sweeps week. Diva 1 is sure she wasn't the only one to discover that THIS was not the decision that Simon utterly disagreed with...

Anyhooo, stay tuned as the Divas gear up for another scandal-filled season of American Idol, with forays into all of your other "faves" of the season -- including Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and any other truly tragic excuse we can find not to do our real work!

Diva 1 out

Technorati Tags: american idol, idol, hollywood week, 17 divas

Bizzaro Night On Idol!!

Very Swollen Diva wasn't sure if the pregnancy hormones had finally boiled her brain away to the point she could no longer properly assess contestants!! Phil rocked the house? LaKeisha kicked serious ass? Chris didn't sing out of his nose the whole time? Blake was far from boring?? And Jordin sucked beyond all belief and recognition??

At least Melinda was there to anchor things with another solid performance. Unlike Diva One, I could tolerate her affect after tonight's performance. I felt as if rockin' out to Bon Jovi was totally out of her comfort level, unlike so many of her other performances- that are usually better but obviously more in her comfort zone. So, she really did need the reassurance that, yes, she once again proved she's the best vocalist and showman in the bunch.

But back to our surprises- once again, I marveled at Phil. He was damn lucky to last this long and finally hit his stride. I did see what Simon was getting at, but not to that extent. Phil isn't a rocker, and shouldn't really aspire to be. And come on Diva One, surely you jest, he just doesn't have that cool-hotness that Chris Daughtry did! Phil is a dork, and a little creepy- but he's really proving himself to be a helluva performer! There's a niche for him- not rock, not crooning, but maybe some Christian/Country type music? Someone obviously likes him- other than just Diva One!

I've been ready to see LaKeisha go, but I would truly be sad if she went home after this week's utterly amazing performance. She got both her brains and her pipes back. She made a wise choice of song and interpretation, with virtually no shouting. Yes, she did truly deserve that kiss, and seeing Simon with her lipgloss all over his face was the highlight of the night!

The lowlight, however, was my usual favorite- Jordin. I'm hoping that her frank admission that she totally sucked will save her, along with her excellent performance (and tons of votes) from last week. She honestly rivaled Sanjaya in her out and out suckiness. If I had been able to fast forward through it, I would have. Good lord.

And I finally realized JUST how young she is- her MOTHER grew up on Bon Jovi?? And poor Jordin clearly did not know this song at all. Which this child of the 80's/90's finds completely incomprehensible. Contestants like Phil were clearly at the advantage this week- he'd been practicing his song in the mirror almost as long as Jordin has been alive!

My real and true highlight of the night was BLAKE!! I loved it. I'd listen to it. I'd buy it. DH said he'd buy an album of Blake's Idol performances thus far. I agree, I thought last night's performance was BRILLIANT. He kept the big rockin' chorus we all love, but twisted all the right spots to make it his own. He made everyone else look like they were singing Karaoke. I hope his gamble pays off.

And Chris, I liked him, liked he knew someone had to sing Dead Or Alive, liked his less-nasally tone, but I think this is his swan song. Two people have to go this week, and I just cannot fathom how he cannot be one of them.

But who will the other one be??? LaKeisha? Jordin? I'm really not sure, but we all know how unpredictable Idol can be, so there's a good chance we could see *gasp* Melinda go home. And Blake's big gamble could kill him. I loved it, but I think Simon and Bon Jovi are right- there are a lot of people like Diva One who don't want some weird kid messing around with their Bon Jovi!

Diva Four speaks the greatest truth about out night, though. What the hell was up with Monkey Boy George Bush showing up?? I was really touched by last week's fundraiser, but seeing the Bushes last night made me shudder. Blech.

I must agree with Diva One- Bon Jovi proved himself to be a great mentor. LuLu might still be my favorite of this season, but I really enjoyed his frankness and enthusiasm. I must admit, I was kind of dreading a night of Bon Jovi, fearing it would be a night of retro shouting. But this ended up being one of my favorite Idol nights!

Of course, it could be the hormones talking. Oh, and as of today, they estimate Baby Joe weighs 8 lbs 14 ounces. And the due date is still 9 days away!! Wish me luck ladies. I know my doctor is hoping I'll go into labor next Wednesday because she's on call- but that means missing Idol!!!

Technorati Tags: american idol, melinda, american-idol, george bush, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas, phil stacey, jordin sparks,blake,melinda doolittle

A Kiss and A Bush as Idol Rocks Bon Jovi Night

Simon must be getting some, b/c he's spreading the love. Simon kissed Lakisha after her performance he thought she was so good. Ryan, in particular, enjoyed that.


I'll say I thought everyone rocked it tonite! i Loved Blake's beeebop version! that was hot dawg! Chris is just adorable! and Melinda's attitude was da bomb!

Jordin's hair did looked a like a dead animal. and have to say, she was my least favorite of the nite.

oh, wait, no she wasnt'. my least favorite of the night was George and Laura Bush's cameo political maneuver to "get jiggy" with the young folks while commending the Idol viewing public for their generous contributions to Idol Gives Back. I'm sorry, but I didnt' hear them make a donation. Just a bad joke or two. At least he didn't stutter. Very bizarre.

d4


Technorati Tags: american idol, Idol Gives Back, american-idol, lakisha, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas

Idol Gives Back and a Diva Celeb Sighting

The Idol Gives Back show aired tonite with the focus on charity more than singing. Kudos for AI for using their super powers for good! To find out how you can help, visit Idol Gives Back.

I was grateful to not have to watch a another romper-roomish Ford commercial featuring the contestants. I TOTALLY agree with Diva 1 - Simon looked HOT! Seeing him be nice to poor children kind of made him half human.

My ears must need to be cleaned because I had the opposite reaction to every contestant than the judges. I LIKED Blake - they hated him. I thought Chris hit some blatantly off-key notes - they loved him. Ditto for Jordin, she sounded shaky and off to me and they loved her.

I DID like Phil this week - 1st time. Lakisha and Melinda didnt wow me. And again, I agree with D1, Paula was a little wack-a-doodle comparing Fantasia to Celine and Maria. (please do not interpret this as I like Celine - I don't!!)

Now that Sanjaya is gone I don't really care who goes home.. I think it's anyone's game at this point.

Meanwhile, Diva 3, who has been delinquent in posting, had dinner at the table next to my absolute FAVE singer of the moment, Corinne Bailey Rae and her entourage, at a fave UWS eatery known for yummy lychee mist martinis! Good think I wasnt there, I might have asked her to put her records on and sing...especially after a martini or ten.

on another reality note, Bachelor Andy Baldwin did a pretty good job of sending home the "crazies" on last nite's Bachelor. Bye-bye to Stephanie Kansas and her fake hooters, brunette who made funny faces and tall blonde chic whose name escapes me. Amber staying was a surprise to me. I don't like her. But clearly Andy does. Bevin's whining about her foot is tiresome. So far my bets are on Tessa, time will tell. Andy seems nice and all but he's got pointier and harder tits than Simon or me.

don't even get me started on 'Dancing with the Stars.' You know how I know that show's gay? a 40 yr old virgin told me!

D4 outie

Technorati Tags: american idol, Idol Gives Back, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Corinne Bailey Rae, Dancing with the STars, the Bachelor

All That Glitters ...

Is Paula, apparently. If she's not auditioning for a role in the LA reprisal of Dreamgirls, which apparently she's not because those girls were on Dancing With the Stars tonight, then she had no business wearing all that glittery gold nonsense. And I'm sorry, but Fantasia is not -- despite Paula's pronouncement -- in the same league as Celine, Mariah and Whitney. She's starring in The Color Purple for crying out loud.

A few other nonsensical observations before Diva 1 gets down to biznass...

First, Simon was looking, in the immortal words of Austin Powers, "dead sexy" tonight, even if Diva 1 is certain that he was wearing parachute pants with that top. The Other Simon -- Le Bon that is -- called, and he wants you to stop raiding his Duran Duran museum. Second, last week's ridiculous claim of "the highest vote ever in a top 7 show" conclusively proves that, despite all claims, even die hard Idol fans have gotten a little idle with the dialing (or just plain bored with this year's contestants). Hence tonight's "extra" voting time. Diva 1 predicts it won't help. But tune in tomorrow anyway for "the highest vote ever in a top 6 contest with 3 women and 3 men singing inspirational tunes..." and Sanjaya, on Leno, wearing Paula's outfit.

And now, for the contestants:

Diva 1 agreed with the judges that Chris R. started the night off with a killer vocal and performance, even if it took him about 20 seconds to really get started. However, he looked like he was headed to the local sadie hawkins dance with the cargos and the suit coat. Killer jacket? Only if we're talking about his fashion sense.

Diva 1 agrees with Swollen Diva -- Melinda is phoning it in, and her outfit was no exception to the conclusion that this was just another day at the office for her. Beware, however. Hayley wore those same shoes, and she's gone. This may mean Melinda finds herself in the bottom for the first time tomorrow.

Diva 1 agrees again with Swollen Diva, and the judges, that Blake was rather boring tonight. Surprisingly, it's Diva 1's favorite vocal of his in the last few weeks even if it wasn't very original or exciting. Apparently singing John Lennon requires an "homage" jacket. And while the Divas are sure that Paula gets all "sensitive and emotional" about Blake, let's keep the comments to the song please!

Lakisha, Lakisha, Lakisha. As Swollen Diva notes, Diva 1 rightly warned about the folly of picking an Idol song. Two Idol songs + two weeks = bottom two.

Phil. Another great song choice, and great performance (albeit slightly less great than last week). I just wish he would quit dressing like a poor man's Frank Sinatra. The hat worked for bald Daniel Powter, a 35-ish no man who bolted to the peak of fame last year with his "Bad Day" song, and it can work for you Phil! Besides, even if your wife needs to wear an H&M dress (and she was), you have an army of stylists at your disposal. Use them, Diva 1 would!

Diva 1 hopes, however, that Simon's prediction comes true and Phil is around for a little while longer...

Finally, Jordin. Diva 1 was waiting for Randy's signature pronouncement: "it was a little pitchy in the beginning, and the end, but the middle was hot!" Is Diva 1 the ONLY one who sees this? We want to love her as much as SD, but I feel like she's not giving me much to work with... other than that dress! Where can I get one?!

Until tomorrow, Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Fantasia, Simon Cowell

Gwen Stefani goes on an Idol Smack Down!!

Ok, it doesn't sound like dear old Gwen did much more than listen to our Idols sing through their songs once. But did I love that she was honest about not liking what some of them did, and her critiques were spot on. I can't believe some of our Idols didn't listen to her advice- or did they ever hear it?? AND it sounded like she's actually been watching the show! But I do still love having the sweet has-beens like LuLu on the show. They just get so excited. Idol is just too cheesy to justify real stars like Gwen and J.Lo.

Anyway- tonight's performances. As usual, Melinda blew everyone out of the water. I do love seeing her every week. Has the girl ever hit a wrong note in her entire freaking life??? I can't believe she worked as a back up singer and no one saw the talent radiating off of that girl. I'm betting there are some producers kicking themselves now.

But I have to say, what I enjoyed most this week was seeing the hard work some of our Idols are putting into winning this thing. This effort was by far the most evident in Gina. I was blase about her early in the season, but she's seriously growing on me. She is clearly going above and beyond the advice the judges are giving her. She's toning up her body, working on her voice, and being savvy about her song choice. As brilliant as Melinda is, there is something fun about watching someone like Gina pour it on.

Same could be said, to some extent, for both Jordin and Phil. I adore Jordin, and still overall like her more than Gina, but her performance this week wasn't as great as last week. And I still can't stand Phil, but I gotta admit, he has improved and grown. His vocals tonight were great. But he still creeps me out. Bad. *Shudder*

But I'm with the judges- by far my frontrunner for the guys is Blake. I didn't love love love tonight, but I do love love love him. I'd buy an album of just what he's done so far on Idol. For reals.

Last week, Diva Husband challenged Swollen Diva to name her top four. I had a hard time with the decision last week. but this week, I'm pretty confident. At least with who I *think* should make it. Sooo....drum roll please...my top four: Melinda, Blake, Jordin, and Gina. That's who I'd like to see, but I have a fear Chris R. will knock out Gina.

Who else sang? Does it matter? Oh, yeah, Sanjaya. Simon is right, as usual. He's in his own universe. He's staying another week. I have accepted it. There's just no point in giving spoilers like Howard Stern and the trolls at Vote for the Worst the satisfaction of ranting about their tactics. I may be lame for loving Idol, but I think it has got to be even more lame to be a "Vote for the Worst" supporter. LOL

My guess for who's going home, putting aside Sanjaya: I think it *should* be Hayley. I thought her performance was literally painful. But I think that both Chris's are in trouble.

Ok, Swollen Diva has to go pack now. Heading to Baltimore for a conference in the AM. We're driving...and stopping every 30 minutes to pee! Wish us luck!!!


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, Vote for the worst, Melinda Doolittle, Gina Glocksen, Blake

Phil Stacey is the Bomb Diggity!

Diva 1, after a short hiatus, is back tonight with thoughts abrim on Gwen Stefani night. Prepped with a panoply of notes, she is prepared to declare Phil Stacey tonight's stand out winner -- if only for the fact that he followed the cardinal Idol rule -- Never Sing the Guest Artist's Song. Ever. Phil's outfit was rocking and finally made him look more like a pop-star than a pin-up grandfather. He delivered a superb vocal, without any crazy eye syndrome, and picked a song that made you forget his ineptness at stomping around the stage and his macarena-like hip shaking of last week. Loved it, and loved him. To quote his wife's sign from last week, Divas Loved Our Sailor!

(Diva Note: Phil's excellence was not suppressed by the fact that my dvr chose Phil's soaring chorus to freeze up for an entire second -- the beauty of the time display -- and demonstrate fully the fallacy of taping both Dancing with the Stars and Idol at the same time. For future reference, all fellow DWS addicts should simply turn over at 5 to 10 to see who gets ousted unceremoniously.)

(Side side note: Diva 1 is seriously bummed that she won't see Paulina P -- aka Ms. Ric Ocasek -- work her magic on DWS. Diva 1 demands a recount, or at least that Ms. Mills' partner rip off the fake leg like Billy Ray scalped Karina.)

Tonight's runner-up prize goes to Gina Glocksen -- although I had to close my eyes to try to wipe the heinous outfit out of my short (and long) term memory, the vocal was the best female vocal of the night. My only advice? Fire that stylist, and the hair dresser who turned you into a one-eyed wonder. You are not the invisible daughter from The Incredibles.

As for the rest...

Lakisha: Great as always, but I wasn't really loving the outfit OR the arrangement of the song. I should know, as I dance around to that song frequently in my apartment courtesty of the Charlies' Angels Deux soundtrack.

Fro Patrol: This was the first time I really enjoyed him singing, b/c the song showed off the tone and range of his voice. But I desperately want to dress him in a DARK shirt and LIGHT jacket, and not the other way around as he apparently insists on each week. I also want to tell him (in my mother's best kitchen voice) to PUT THE MIKE STAND DOWN.

Singing Machine: First to break the afore-mentioned cardinal rule for the SECOND time, and the best thing I can say about the hairdo is it made him look 15 years older. Plus he forgot the words. But I bet he'll be back next week. He is this year's equivalent of the "She-Bangs" boy, but for the fact he made it past initial auditions.

Hayley: Did anyone else think she looked like Paula's twin sister tonight? Hair -- horrific. And just b/c it was an 80s song didn't mean she had to resurrect something her much older sister bought at Express in 1982. The Old Lady is back, and she's BORING.

Melinda: Excuse Diva 1 for being a bit snobby, but given the army of stylists, I don't think anyone should be wearing a top that is currently on exhibit in every Bebe store window on 3rd Avenue and in Las Vegas (seriously, the Divas were just there -- and its on every Bebe mannequin west of the Missouri river). Only real critique of another good performance? Lose the belt next time.

Blake: Does anyone BUT Diva 1 think he's really not as much as the judges think he is? The outfit was like a straight jacket (the pants were even peg-legged, an offense one Diva will recognize as wolf-acious) and he was boring as all get out. Plus I'm EXTREMELY TIRED of staring up his nostrils every week. Naturally, Paula loved it.

Jordin: Diva is reminded of that famous saying -- one giant step for Jordinkind (last week), two massive steps backward this week. It was like a school girl talent routine fresh out of Mean Girls -- outfit included. Also, I thought it was extremely pitchy. And most idol-escents get chastised for allowing the back-up singers to do the heavy lifting.

Chris: For Diva 1, this was the third best performance of the evening. Not nasally and, although it was a little tentative at the start, the second half was great. I think he has a better voice than Blake by 10 miles, and with his tone I want to hear him sing some Stevie Wonder. I do want to warn him though, Members Only called and they're looking for their jacket.

Final thoughts? Paula looked weirdly old tonight, I must throw out my silver eye shadow (if I had some) immediately. I hate Gwen Stefani for looking so great even without her over-the-top fabulous diva make-up of yore. And her white patent platforms were the bomb, dawg!

Diva 1


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, phil stacey, Paula Abduhl, haley scarnato, chris sligh

Mystery of Crying Girl on American Idol Solved

For anyone who saw Tuesday nights American Idol and the mystery girl in the audience crying her eyes out the duration of the show and wondered, "who is she?" or "is there something wrong with her?" we have the answer.

The crying girl on idol - as she'll now be known for all time - is named Ashley, age 13 from Riverside California. She and her mother appeared with Meredith Vierra this morning to talk about her flood gates of tears.

Apparently she is the "Uber Idol Fan". Half of her bedroom is decorated with Spongebob and the other half with American Idol.

Ashley professes to vote but not JUST for Sanjaya. She also votes for Melinda, Gina and Jordin. Ashley's dream is to go the the American Idol finale. Geez, this Divas thinking she's pretty much got that one in the bag.

Meanwhile, Keith Olbermann and Maria Milito speculate on msnbc that this girl was a "plant". She apparently had tickets to "Smarter than a 5th grader" and somehow ended up crying at the idol rehearsals where she began sobbing immediately and gee, out of nowhere, ends up in the front row of American Idol taping next to Simon Cowell. Real or Memorex? you decide.

However she got there, we at 17 Divas would just like to thank Ashley personally for making the rest of our Idol lives a living hell. It's tweens like her that have kept this loser on and tweens like her who will in all likelihood make Sanjaya the next American Idol.

-D4


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, crying idol girl

Starving for Sanjaya

ok, now i've seen it all. these folks are so upset that Sanjaya made it thru on American Idol that they are staging a starvefest until he is voted off.


Starving for Sanjaya


Geez people, don't be giving up your favorite food or all food on behalf of some toxic contestant...seriously, that's dark and twisty. and for crying out loud, Cadbury mini eggs just landed at your local drugstore and this dude could be crooning for weeks to come.

Melinda, Jordin and Blake My Idol Top 3

First, a shout out to Paula Abduhl, who might be having the most tastefully dressed Idol season to date.

And, let the twists and turns continue with Paula's comment to the nervous idol hopefuls to just picture Simon naked - to which Simon retorted - 'ah is that what you do all day?" keeping it real for the folks. thanks guys. Sadly, as i may have eluded to in prior seasons that Simon can sometimes be alluring.... but i digress.

Two hours of Idol and here's how it rounded out for me tonite:

Haley - she's kicking up the sex factor in short shorts and a silk halter tank minus the pasties. she had far less armpit shots than usual which I am thankful for.

Blake - owned it and rocked it.

Sanjaya - brought me back to being at a drunkin college fraternity party and he was the guy who had one too many trying to show off. His oversized clothing and extra-broad jackets swim more on him the worse he dances. Go Home, PLEASE. Go home!

Jordin - was awesome. gave me goosebumps. how come sometimes i look at her and i see America Ferrara but prettier.

Lakisha - agreed with the judges - bring back Lakisha. but i still love her.

Phil - bores me.

Chris Sligh - ditto.

Melinda - awesome! paula had it dead-on - she tells a story with her singing and there's a beginning, a middle and an end.

if i didnt mention you, i forgot about you.

My top props for the nite go to Melinda and Jordin!

oh, and who was that Ashley girl crying for the entire show? at first, i, like simon, thought she was crying because Sanjaya and his hair were scaring the crap out of her.

Til Tomorrow, Diva 4 out the door,
:)


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Simon Cowell, paula abduhl,Melinda Doolittle,Jordin Sparks,fox, Blake, Sanjaya Malakar

Kiki-cking It DRoss Style

Once again, Lakisha proves that she is (to quote a popular movie) pure "money." Girl's got a great voice and a beautiful personality that shines through. I don't know why, but I'm far more moved by her single mom sob story than I ever was by Fantasia. Perhaps because she is so humbled by her success.

And frankly, while Melinda was good as usual, I wasn't bowled over. If you're singing something from the Wiz, please make it something we all recognize! In fact, much like the judges, Diva 1 was not tremendously bowled over by anything.

Highlights, if you could call them that, are limited. First, there is Haley Scarnato, who -- for once -- left Whitney, Mariah, Faith Hill and her wedding singer style far far behind (even if the dress was still hideous, I don't understand how a 23 year old can instantly turn herself into 45 -- its almost worse than Pickler's Tammy Wynette transformation). And last there is Phil Stacey, who -- if you closed your eyes -- had by far the best vocal of the men. In what is rapidly turning into rhetorical question night, how can someone whose voice soars and who clearly has a passion for singing be (in the words of the immortal Hanny B) so DULLS-ville?

Without question, Sanjaya MUST GO. Diva 1 dare says, however, that Brandon, Fro-Man Chris Sligh and Stephanie (another victim of instant aging this evening) are flirting with danger and may, due to the whims of the voters, be ousted before the eviling Singing Machine (get it? Sanjaya Malakar, Singing Machine, Diva 1 is SO clever).

Finally, who knew Diana Ross could be so lucid?? Color Diva 1 pleasantly pleased.


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, american idol top 12

The real Idol Showdown begins

The top 12. The big band. The big stage. The big audience. The real Idol Showdown begins!

... and I start this blog with the 17Divas mantra, "SANJAYA MUST GO!" - Abomindable singing and dancing - if you can even call it that! He is embarassing to watch, yet he clearly has lots of friends with cell phones.

Melinda Doolittle , singing my favorite song from "The Wiz" was my absolute favorite. I admit to crying alongside Paula during her incredible performance. Next best was Lakisha.

Simon remembered Haley's name and liked her performance despite her forgetting a lyric or twelve. Chris Richardson bopped all over the stage but for the first time didnt make me seasick. I think he's adorable. Most of the guys are a blur in this competition. Simon and Ryan exchanged in and out of the closet pleasantries assuring the rest of us that they clearly have a special thing for each other.

til next time,
Diva 4 outie.


Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,lakisha, sanjaya malakar, melinda doolittle, 17 Divas, Idol Top 12, Simon Cowell, ryan seacrest

Sanjaya Dodges Bullets ... AGAIN! Sabrina and Sundance get Robbed!

With more lives than an alley cat and more luck than a Leprechaun in an irish pub, Sanjaya Malakar shockingly makes the American Idol Top 12 of Season 6 to the dropped jaws of Himself, Simon, Randy, Paula, Me, the other 3 Divas and anyone in the free world who is hearing-enabled. I screamed so loud I almost lost a tonsil.

I screamed nearly as loud when Ryan announced that the wedding singer made it into the covetted spots instead of Sabrina.

Sabrina and Sundance got robbed with a capital "R"!!!! And as much as I wanted the Tit-Flasher gone, I actually preferred her singing to Haley 'the wedding singer' Scarnato.

As for Jared Cotter - I predict a soap opera career in his future - is 'Passions' still on the air? he'll be getting a casting call soon.

and, i'm sorry but I cannot let this Sanjaya thing lie. He has zero charissma, zero stage presence, zero body (take off those x-L shirts and you'll find the body of a 12 yr old i'm thinking.) and zero talent! yet, H-E-L-L-O apparently america thinks he's top 12 material.

I missed Tuesday nite's men's show due to Divas Las Vegas and when they did the re-cap and I got a gander of Sanjaya's flat-ironed hair - HE truly DID turn into his Sister!!!! OMG! I can't bare to watch him any more, yet America thinks I need to.


- A disgusted D4 out



Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,idol results show, sanjaya malakar, antonella barba, 17 Divas, Idol Top 12,Sundance, Sabrina Sloan

Does America Hate Nina Simone?

What the hell happened this week? I'm still reeling.

Does Antonella really think she deserves to up there with the likes of Melinda Dolittle?? Even as the other women wept at the injustice and even Paula was outraged, she still looked smug. At least Sanjaya had the good sense to appear shocked- although I thought his reaction was a bit aped.

Poor AJ, his vocals last night were even better than before. I was never a big fan, but when Paula pulls the "this is a singing contest" line, you know things are bad.

To round out the evening's surreal tone, we had Kelli Pickler. I was in shock last night, but I'm actually starting to feel sorry for her. There's no doubt she was channeling Dolly Parton, but where Dolly's look is charming and fun, Kelli just came off as sad and pathetic. Dolly always jokes that her look is what she imagined, as a poor child, rich ladies look like. It is a sweet joke that makes me love her all the more. But on Kelli, she just looked like a child prostitute made old before her time.

Last night was an Idol travesty. But I can't turn away!!

Swollen Diva rolls out!


Technorati Tags: american idol,american-idol ,dolly parton, kelli pickler, antonella barba, 17 Divas, Nina Simone

American Idol Girls Take 2

The woman continue their dominance over the guys on american idol. Stephanie, Lakisha, Belinda, Sabrina and Jordin are tops in my book. What I dont like is this stupid dedication week theme. It's nice b/c you get to know a bit about them but playing such emotional footage right before they sing is just unfair. competition or not. I think the "home footage" should be saved for seperate segments and not a prelude to a performance.

Was I the only one screaming "NO WAY" when Ryan Seacrest announced that Antonella would be doing Celine? OMG, I howled. As Diva 2 said in prior post - have these 6th season contestants LEARNED NOTHING? from watching 5 years of this? Antonella was walking on thin ice coming into tonite's show, and that just sunk her to the bottom of the river! Not to mention, what's her name (don't know them all yet) doing the Dixie Chicks Grammy winning song, "not ready to make nice". Unless you can sing like Lakisha you should not be choosing grammy winning songs!

Next on my poo-poo list is wedding singer, Haley Scarnoto. The crimped hair was cheezy, the song choice was lame and the armpit shots were far too many! If she or Antonella are not gone next week I will be shocked. Even dog walker, Leslie, was better I thought.

ok, nuf said. Diva4 out the door

Technorati Tags: american-idol, american idol, antonella barba, leslie hunt