Bizzaro Night On Idol!!

Very Swollen Diva wasn't sure if the pregnancy hormones had finally boiled her brain away to the point she could no longer properly assess contestants!! Phil rocked the house? LaKeisha kicked serious ass? Chris didn't sing out of his nose the whole time? Blake was far from boring?? And Jordin sucked beyond all belief and recognition??

At least Melinda was there to anchor things with another solid performance. Unlike Diva One, I could tolerate her affect after tonight's performance. I felt as if rockin' out to Bon Jovi was totally out of her comfort level, unlike so many of her other performances- that are usually better but obviously more in her comfort zone. So, she really did need the reassurance that, yes, she once again proved she's the best vocalist and showman in the bunch.

But back to our surprises- once again, I marveled at Phil. He was damn lucky to last this long and finally hit his stride. I did see what Simon was getting at, but not to that extent. Phil isn't a rocker, and shouldn't really aspire to be. And come on Diva One, surely you jest, he just doesn't have that cool-hotness that Chris Daughtry did! Phil is a dork, and a little creepy- but he's really proving himself to be a helluva performer! There's a niche for him- not rock, not crooning, but maybe some Christian/Country type music? Someone obviously likes him- other than just Diva One!

I've been ready to see LaKeisha go, but I would truly be sad if she went home after this week's utterly amazing performance. She got both her brains and her pipes back. She made a wise choice of song and interpretation, with virtually no shouting. Yes, she did truly deserve that kiss, and seeing Simon with her lipgloss all over his face was the highlight of the night!

The lowlight, however, was my usual favorite- Jordin. I'm hoping that her frank admission that she totally sucked will save her, along with her excellent performance (and tons of votes) from last week. She honestly rivaled Sanjaya in her out and out suckiness. If I had been able to fast forward through it, I would have. Good lord.

And I finally realized JUST how young she is- her MOTHER grew up on Bon Jovi?? And poor Jordin clearly did not know this song at all. Which this child of the 80's/90's finds completely incomprehensible. Contestants like Phil were clearly at the advantage this week- he'd been practicing his song in the mirror almost as long as Jordin has been alive!

My real and true highlight of the night was BLAKE!! I loved it. I'd listen to it. I'd buy it. DH said he'd buy an album of Blake's Idol performances thus far. I agree, I thought last night's performance was BRILLIANT. He kept the big rockin' chorus we all love, but twisted all the right spots to make it his own. He made everyone else look like they were singing Karaoke. I hope his gamble pays off.

And Chris, I liked him, liked he knew someone had to sing Dead Or Alive, liked his less-nasally tone, but I think this is his swan song. Two people have to go this week, and I just cannot fathom how he cannot be one of them.

But who will the other one be??? LaKeisha? Jordin? I'm really not sure, but we all know how unpredictable Idol can be, so there's a good chance we could see *gasp* Melinda go home. And Blake's big gamble could kill him. I loved it, but I think Simon and Bon Jovi are right- there are a lot of people like Diva One who don't want some weird kid messing around with their Bon Jovi!

Diva Four speaks the greatest truth about out night, though. What the hell was up with Monkey Boy George Bush showing up?? I was really touched by last week's fundraiser, but seeing the Bushes last night made me shudder. Blech.

I must agree with Diva One- Bon Jovi proved himself to be a great mentor. LuLu might still be my favorite of this season, but I really enjoyed his frankness and enthusiasm. I must admit, I was kind of dreading a night of Bon Jovi, fearing it would be a night of retro shouting. But this ended up being one of my favorite Idol nights!

Of course, it could be the hormones talking. Oh, and as of today, they estimate Baby Joe weighs 8 lbs 14 ounces. And the due date is still 9 days away!! Wish me luck ladies. I know my doctor is hoping I'll go into labor next Wednesday because she's on call- but that means missing Idol!!!

Technorati Tags: american idol, melinda, american-idol, george bush, simon cowell, bon jovi, 17 Divas, phil stacey, jordin sparks,blake,melinda doolittle

Idol Gives Back and a Diva Celeb Sighting

The Idol Gives Back show aired tonite with the focus on charity more than singing. Kudos for AI for using their super powers for good! To find out how you can help, visit Idol Gives Back.

I was grateful to not have to watch a another romper-roomish Ford commercial featuring the contestants. I TOTALLY agree with Diva 1 - Simon looked HOT! Seeing him be nice to poor children kind of made him half human.

My ears must need to be cleaned because I had the opposite reaction to every contestant than the judges. I LIKED Blake - they hated him. I thought Chris hit some blatantly off-key notes - they loved him. Ditto for Jordin, she sounded shaky and off to me and they loved her.

I DID like Phil this week - 1st time. Lakisha and Melinda didnt wow me. And again, I agree with D1, Paula was a little wack-a-doodle comparing Fantasia to Celine and Maria. (please do not interpret this as I like Celine - I don't!!)

Now that Sanjaya is gone I don't really care who goes home.. I think it's anyone's game at this point.

Meanwhile, Diva 3, who has been delinquent in posting, had dinner at the table next to my absolute FAVE singer of the moment, Corinne Bailey Rae and her entourage, at a fave UWS eatery known for yummy lychee mist martinis! Good think I wasnt there, I might have asked her to put her records on and sing...especially after a martini or ten.

on another reality note, Bachelor Andy Baldwin did a pretty good job of sending home the "crazies" on last nite's Bachelor. Bye-bye to Stephanie Kansas and her fake hooters, brunette who made funny faces and tall blonde chic whose name escapes me. Amber staying was a surprise to me. I don't like her. But clearly Andy does. Bevin's whining about her foot is tiresome. So far my bets are on Tessa, time will tell. Andy seems nice and all but he's got pointier and harder tits than Simon or me.

don't even get me started on 'Dancing with the Stars.' You know how I know that show's gay? a 40 yr old virgin told me!

D4 outie

Technorati Tags: american idol, Idol Gives Back, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Corinne Bailey Rae, Dancing with the STars, the Bachelor

All That Glitters ...

Is Paula, apparently. If she's not auditioning for a role in the LA reprisal of Dreamgirls, which apparently she's not because those girls were on Dancing With the Stars tonight, then she had no business wearing all that glittery gold nonsense. And I'm sorry, but Fantasia is not -- despite Paula's pronouncement -- in the same league as Celine, Mariah and Whitney. She's starring in The Color Purple for crying out loud.

A few other nonsensical observations before Diva 1 gets down to biznass...

First, Simon was looking, in the immortal words of Austin Powers, "dead sexy" tonight, even if Diva 1 is certain that he was wearing parachute pants with that top. The Other Simon -- Le Bon that is -- called, and he wants you to stop raiding his Duran Duran museum. Second, last week's ridiculous claim of "the highest vote ever in a top 7 show" conclusively proves that, despite all claims, even die hard Idol fans have gotten a little idle with the dialing (or just plain bored with this year's contestants). Hence tonight's "extra" voting time. Diva 1 predicts it won't help. But tune in tomorrow anyway for "the highest vote ever in a top 6 contest with 3 women and 3 men singing inspirational tunes..." and Sanjaya, on Leno, wearing Paula's outfit.

And now, for the contestants:

Diva 1 agreed with the judges that Chris R. started the night off with a killer vocal and performance, even if it took him about 20 seconds to really get started. However, he looked like he was headed to the local sadie hawkins dance with the cargos and the suit coat. Killer jacket? Only if we're talking about his fashion sense.

Diva 1 agrees with Swollen Diva -- Melinda is phoning it in, and her outfit was no exception to the conclusion that this was just another day at the office for her. Beware, however. Hayley wore those same shoes, and she's gone. This may mean Melinda finds herself in the bottom for the first time tomorrow.

Diva 1 agrees again with Swollen Diva, and the judges, that Blake was rather boring tonight. Surprisingly, it's Diva 1's favorite vocal of his in the last few weeks even if it wasn't very original or exciting. Apparently singing John Lennon requires an "homage" jacket. And while the Divas are sure that Paula gets all "sensitive and emotional" about Blake, let's keep the comments to the song please!

Lakisha, Lakisha, Lakisha. As Swollen Diva notes, Diva 1 rightly warned about the folly of picking an Idol song. Two Idol songs + two weeks = bottom two.

Phil. Another great song choice, and great performance (albeit slightly less great than last week). I just wish he would quit dressing like a poor man's Frank Sinatra. The hat worked for bald Daniel Powter, a 35-ish no man who bolted to the peak of fame last year with his "Bad Day" song, and it can work for you Phil! Besides, even if your wife needs to wear an H&M dress (and she was), you have an army of stylists at your disposal. Use them, Diva 1 would!

Diva 1 hopes, however, that Simon's prediction comes true and Phil is around for a little while longer...

Finally, Jordin. Diva 1 was waiting for Randy's signature pronouncement: "it was a little pitchy in the beginning, and the end, but the middle was hot!" Is Diva 1 the ONLY one who sees this? We want to love her as much as SD, but I feel like she's not giving me much to work with... other than that dress! Where can I get one?!

Until tomorrow, Diva 1 out!

Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Paula Abdul, Phil Stacy, Chris Richardson, 17 Divas, Fantasia, Simon Cowell

Sanity Returns to the Reality TV Universe!!

I will probably just echo the feelings of my fellow Divas, and probably all of the hearing world, but PRAISE JESUS, the reign of terror/joke that is Sanjaya is FINALLY OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And not only that, drug-addled Jael finally got the boot from American's Next Top Model.

For the first time in many Wednesdays, I slept soundly, knowing that a few things were right in the world.

Diva 1, right there with you on your assessment of Country Night, except of course for your Blake bash. It was even MORE exciting given how the voting shook out. What a bottom three that was!! Blake and LaKeisha! Wowza.

LaKeisha did deserve her spot in the bottom. She has done nothing in weeks and weeks but prove that, as DH said from the beginning, she is a one-trick-pony. Her voice certainly has power, but no real range or versatility. And that power was all yelling on Tuesday- yelling at poor Baby Jesus that HE HAD BETTER COME AND TAKE THIS DAMN WHEEL, DAMMIT!! As Diva 1 so rightly pointed out, she broke the rules picking a former Idol's song, and although she won with that choice once, she got stung this time. I think her time on Idol is drawing to a close, she is just no match for Jordin or Melinda.

As much as I love Blake, he did kinda suck this week. But Diva 1 still shouldn't bash him! :) Was it me or was he horribly pitchy?? I was waiting for the judges to go in for the kill, but then they praised him? Even this Blake fan thought that was bizarre.

I also didn't think Jordin's vocals were all that. And I found her song choice oddly impudent. But once again Simon and I were sharing a brain. As her voice soared and she closed the song, I thought to myself "she could actually win this."

And just a few words about Phil- I still can't stand him, but I gotta him credit. He was AMAZING. Where has this guy been all season?? My jaw was on the floor. I kept checking myself- what, wait, this is Phil? This is country? But this is actually good??

I feel as if Idol is finally back on track- Diva 4 was correct, justice was finally served to Sanjaya, and we actually saw some interesting performances and growth among the contestants! This is shaping up to be an interesting battle!

Swollen Diva Out!
22 days until Due Date!!!


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, idol, reality television

Gwen Stefani goes on an Idol Smack Down!!

Ok, it doesn't sound like dear old Gwen did much more than listen to our Idols sing through their songs once. But did I love that she was honest about not liking what some of them did, and her critiques were spot on. I can't believe some of our Idols didn't listen to her advice- or did they ever hear it?? AND it sounded like she's actually been watching the show! But I do still love having the sweet has-beens like LuLu on the show. They just get so excited. Idol is just too cheesy to justify real stars like Gwen and J.Lo.

Anyway- tonight's performances. As usual, Melinda blew everyone out of the water. I do love seeing her every week. Has the girl ever hit a wrong note in her entire freaking life??? I can't believe she worked as a back up singer and no one saw the talent radiating off of that girl. I'm betting there are some producers kicking themselves now.

But I have to say, what I enjoyed most this week was seeing the hard work some of our Idols are putting into winning this thing. This effort was by far the most evident in Gina. I was blase about her early in the season, but she's seriously growing on me. She is clearly going above and beyond the advice the judges are giving her. She's toning up her body, working on her voice, and being savvy about her song choice. As brilliant as Melinda is, there is something fun about watching someone like Gina pour it on.

Same could be said, to some extent, for both Jordin and Phil. I adore Jordin, and still overall like her more than Gina, but her performance this week wasn't as great as last week. And I still can't stand Phil, but I gotta admit, he has improved and grown. His vocals tonight were great. But he still creeps me out. Bad. *Shudder*

But I'm with the judges- by far my frontrunner for the guys is Blake. I didn't love love love tonight, but I do love love love him. I'd buy an album of just what he's done so far on Idol. For reals.

Last week, Diva Husband challenged Swollen Diva to name her top four. I had a hard time with the decision last week. but this week, I'm pretty confident. At least with who I *think* should make it. Sooo....drum roll please...my top four: Melinda, Blake, Jordin, and Gina. That's who I'd like to see, but I have a fear Chris R. will knock out Gina.

Who else sang? Does it matter? Oh, yeah, Sanjaya. Simon is right, as usual. He's in his own universe. He's staying another week. I have accepted it. There's just no point in giving spoilers like Howard Stern and the trolls at Vote for the Worst the satisfaction of ranting about their tactics. I may be lame for loving Idol, but I think it has got to be even more lame to be a "Vote for the Worst" supporter. LOL

My guess for who's going home, putting aside Sanjaya: I think it *should* be Hayley. I thought her performance was literally painful. But I think that both Chris's are in trouble.

Ok, Swollen Diva has to go pack now. Heading to Baltimore for a conference in the AM. We're driving...and stopping every 30 minutes to pee! Wish us luck!!!


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, Vote for the worst, Melinda Doolittle, Gina Glocksen, Blake

Phil Stacey is the Bomb Diggity!

Diva 1, after a short hiatus, is back tonight with thoughts abrim on Gwen Stefani night. Prepped with a panoply of notes, she is prepared to declare Phil Stacey tonight's stand out winner -- if only for the fact that he followed the cardinal Idol rule -- Never Sing the Guest Artist's Song. Ever. Phil's outfit was rocking and finally made him look more like a pop-star than a pin-up grandfather. He delivered a superb vocal, without any crazy eye syndrome, and picked a song that made you forget his ineptness at stomping around the stage and his macarena-like hip shaking of last week. Loved it, and loved him. To quote his wife's sign from last week, Divas Loved Our Sailor!

(Diva Note: Phil's excellence was not suppressed by the fact that my dvr chose Phil's soaring chorus to freeze up for an entire second -- the beauty of the time display -- and demonstrate fully the fallacy of taping both Dancing with the Stars and Idol at the same time. For future reference, all fellow DWS addicts should simply turn over at 5 to 10 to see who gets ousted unceremoniously.)

(Side side note: Diva 1 is seriously bummed that she won't see Paulina P -- aka Ms. Ric Ocasek -- work her magic on DWS. Diva 1 demands a recount, or at least that Ms. Mills' partner rip off the fake leg like Billy Ray scalped Karina.)

Tonight's runner-up prize goes to Gina Glocksen -- although I had to close my eyes to try to wipe the heinous outfit out of my short (and long) term memory, the vocal was the best female vocal of the night. My only advice? Fire that stylist, and the hair dresser who turned you into a one-eyed wonder. You are not the invisible daughter from The Incredibles.

As for the rest...

Lakisha: Great as always, but I wasn't really loving the outfit OR the arrangement of the song. I should know, as I dance around to that song frequently in my apartment courtesty of the Charlies' Angels Deux soundtrack.

Fro Patrol: This was the first time I really enjoyed him singing, b/c the song showed off the tone and range of his voice. But I desperately want to dress him in a DARK shirt and LIGHT jacket, and not the other way around as he apparently insists on each week. I also want to tell him (in my mother's best kitchen voice) to PUT THE MIKE STAND DOWN.

Singing Machine: First to break the afore-mentioned cardinal rule for the SECOND time, and the best thing I can say about the hairdo is it made him look 15 years older. Plus he forgot the words. But I bet he'll be back next week. He is this year's equivalent of the "She-Bangs" boy, but for the fact he made it past initial auditions.

Hayley: Did anyone else think she looked like Paula's twin sister tonight? Hair -- horrific. And just b/c it was an 80s song didn't mean she had to resurrect something her much older sister bought at Express in 1982. The Old Lady is back, and she's BORING.

Melinda: Excuse Diva 1 for being a bit snobby, but given the army of stylists, I don't think anyone should be wearing a top that is currently on exhibit in every Bebe store window on 3rd Avenue and in Las Vegas (seriously, the Divas were just there -- and its on every Bebe mannequin west of the Missouri river). Only real critique of another good performance? Lose the belt next time.

Blake: Does anyone BUT Diva 1 think he's really not as much as the judges think he is? The outfit was like a straight jacket (the pants were even peg-legged, an offense one Diva will recognize as wolf-acious) and he was boring as all get out. Plus I'm EXTREMELY TIRED of staring up his nostrils every week. Naturally, Paula loved it.

Jordin: Diva is reminded of that famous saying -- one giant step for Jordinkind (last week), two massive steps backward this week. It was like a school girl talent routine fresh out of Mean Girls -- outfit included. Also, I thought it was extremely pitchy. And most idol-escents get chastised for allowing the back-up singers to do the heavy lifting.

Chris: For Diva 1, this was the third best performance of the evening. Not nasally and, although it was a little tentative at the start, the second half was great. I think he has a better voice than Blake by 10 miles, and with his tone I want to hear him sing some Stevie Wonder. I do want to warn him though, Members Only called and they're looking for their jacket.

Final thoughts? Paula looked weirdly old tonight, I must throw out my silver eye shadow (if I had some) immediately. I hate Gwen Stefani for looking so great even without her over-the-top fabulous diva make-up of yore. And her white patent platforms were the bomb, dawg!

Diva 1


Technorati Tags: american idol, american-idol, Sanjaya Malakar, Gwen Stefani, phil stacey, Paula Abduhl, haley scarnato, chris sligh